WHAT I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE WRITING ABOUT.......TODAY

Chances are you are expecting some diatribe with facts and what have you, that's not happening. I'm giving you a top ten, make what you will and enjoy it.

1. Obama
2. Death
3. Kim Kardashian
4. Kanye West
5. Religious Wars
6. Iraq
7. The Economy 
8. Tulips
9. The OJ Trial
10. Hostage exchanges

Have a great Saturday!

I HATE THAT BITCH

I know that the word bitch is unkind but I'm not particularly interested in kindness. I'm not a big fan of the show Full Throttle Saloon but I do watch it when I'm seriously bored. I'll indulge my guilty pleasure occasionally because I have that right. I really dislike that girl on the show,Angie. The reason I dislike her is because she is such a pseudo intellectual domineering individual. Something about that girl just pisses me off, even her boobs don't really do anything for me, in fact, nothing about her does anything for me.  I like the buxom ladies but I think this girl just has that quality that makes people want to throw crap on her.  The rest of the show is pretty cool and I'd love to check out the place one day but until then, eat shit Angie.

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WILL PISS YOU OFF

I have heard this "what you don't know won't hurt you" shit too often. I have to say that's a crap thing to tell a person. Knowledge, for good or bad really is power. When you withhold truth from an individual you will never favor them. People have a serious need to know and understand truth. If you are in a relationship that particular saying is serious bullshit.

I'm not an advocate of secrets nor am I an advocate of convenient truth. Not saying something that another person should no is total crap. I hate that secret crap, I guess I had to ride a soapbox for a few sentences before stating that the truth will set you free!

MARRIAGE IS GREAT, WHEN TAKEN IN MODERATION

I think marriage is a wonderful institution, kind of like Disney World. When you enter marriage it's a lot like going to Magic Kingdom in the sense that there's wonder, joy, a little apprehension, some spending, and in the end you leave asking yourself why. Marriage quantity is also like Magic Kingdom in the sense that the more you go the more you spend and the less satisfied you are.

We jump into marriage sometimes too soon and sometimes not soon enough. Often times we go in because we fear living alone for a period of time or for the rest of our lives. Marriage can be the solution to a problem and a problem that never really needed solution to begin with. Sometimes we treat marriage like a ferris wheel with different colored pods.

I think it's vital we understand that those pods each have a different personality and they are likely to swing in ways we may not understand or appreciate. Marriage is wonderful in the same way that scolding hot coffee is wonderful, it keeps you up, worries you, and gives you a feeling of invincibility coupled with massive headaches.

I say marry with good intentions, live with better intentions and worry without consideration. If your marriage dissolves remember always that life is one and you must live on to fight another day.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

It's  morning on a Saturday and I'm feeling pretty good. I have made the decision to use today as a sort of journal day. The news are depressing, uninteresting and frankly they just piss me off. Why talk about reality television, murders, and politics when you can look out a window and catch a lovely view of the sun. I think politics were designed for conversation more than anything else, and I don't like to talk quite as much as I like to write. It's funny how sometimes life is so disappointing in terms of what you see in the mediums that you find yourself getting re-aqcuainted with nature and what have you. Perhaps today will be a day of discovery, and then again I will probably comeback and shoot bullets at everything I dislike.

SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THE NIGHTMARE

If you've been keeping up with me, you know I hate Honey Boo Boo. I think that show is a great example of everything that's wrong with society. You have an almost 300 lb. woman raising a hateful little pig of a child that doesn't understand the importance of manners. We live in a society where obesity is frowned upon and yet this show glorifies it. As a result of watching this fucking show you got people that don't understand if being an ill mannered porker is a good thing.

I say boycott this fucking show, boycott TLC and let's do away with the Honey Boo Boo deal. Someone please bring back good television, let's get Remote Control on the air again. Fuck you Honey Boo Boo, and your ugly mom too.

THE WHORE IS TIRED

So Dr. Drew has decided to stop doing celebrity rehab because he is tired of taking heat for the deaths. This is another way for that piece of shit to get attention and make himself a martyr. I don't think anyone with a brain cell would accuse him of being guilty. Anyone that knows anything will accuse him of being what he is and that is a whore. I am sure there is a big question as to why I call him that. I cal him a whore because as a therapist he should know that addiction is a private issue that should be solved as such and not in front of millions of people.

Rehabilitation is a process that can take months ad sometimes years and while there are people that never pull through there are those that do. For a celebrity to appear on television after years of being ignored is like a ray of light. When a celebrity sees that glimmer they assume that their past appeal and faded charms may become bright enough to get them back in the "game." This is the problem with a rehab show, the celebrity is exposing why he or she became a serious liability in the first place. No one that views those shows looks at those celebrities as anything more than poor, and very pathetic souls.

Dr. Drew says that he helped a lot of people and that may be but the fact remains he is smart enough to have known that this type of show would do more harm than good. Just because an addict decides to clean up for the cameras doesn't mean that he or she is ready to go back to whatever position they squandered. This type of show is what's wrong with society today. Dr. Drew knew people were not watching in hopes that Jeff Conaway would go back to being the guy he was in Taxi, Grease, or even Babylon 5. This guy is talking about his motives being questioned and he should understand that the questions come from his being a total sellout for some TV time to prove his "qualifications."

WHEN YOU TRY TO PRY

Have you ever been in that position where you are trying to get something from someone and it's impossible to do so? What I mean is making that attempt to have a conversation and while you set the base for what could be something wonderful you are handed shit in the vein of a monosyllabic response. Sometimes it's understandable because there are conversations that you don't want to have but what about the important ones?

What I mean by important conversation is let's assume you are a father having the talk with your daughter's future better half. Imagine if instead of a good strong talk you have something like:

DAD: Hey John

GROOM: Sup

DAD: How are you?

GROOM: I'm k

DAD: Pardon me

GROOM: I'm good.

DAD: So what are your plans once you are married?

GROOM: Dunno

DAD: You what?

GROM: Dunno

DAD: You don't know?

GROOM: Yup.

This could go on forever with the end result being some sort of near tragedy involving a dog, a dove, and a Ford Pinto. Do I have a point with this? Yes I do as a matter of fact. There are times when you need to be guarded and there are times when you need to be open. There is nothing wrong with starting a conversation that has some sort importance and there is even less wrong with helping that conversation expand into something of meaning. Next time you want to be a jackass remember that he who does not try usually eats shit.

MY HATRED FOR THE NOSY

I once had a friend who told me that he had a right to ask me a question. I remember feeling like my privacy had been invaded in the worst way. The fact is that that no matter how long you know a person  that person doesn't ever have the right to ask overly personal questions. I think people love to go past their boundaries and the fact is that they should never be allowed to do so. Unrequested advice falls into that category.

Have you ever stopped in a place and gotten the bit of unrequested advice from someone you don't know or care about? I love those moments because they give me the opportunity to say what I feel. I love to express myself differently with people that ask unrequested questions. I remember being in an elevator with about three cases of water. Some idiot asked me " What are you going to do with all that water?" my response was " I plan on taking the bottles and shoving them up my ass." The man's face lost all color and at that point I felt like a million dollars. I will never truly be able to embrace the nosy especially if they are old in age.

Old people seem to be the worst when it comes to the disease of nosy. I think that the older people get more they want to either provide pearls of wisdom or rain shit all over your parade. I love it when some elderly person breaks out into the " Back in my Day" speech. I respect the elderly and I respect advice but more so when I ask for it. The point of this entry is simple, I hate the following things:

1. Nosy People
2. Unrequested Advice
3. Answering Unwanted Questions
4. Back in my Day speeches

I advice that you use your creativity when dealing with the nosy because at the end of the day it's the most fun you will have in a brief period.

THE POWER OF A SIMPLE HELLO

Saying hello is quite possibly one of the simplest and most powerful gestures at a person's disposition. When you say hello and mean it you may well be changing a person's life. You never know at what emotional tipping point a person may be when you say that hello. A person may be sitting on a bench contemplating suicide, depressed over what event life has facilitated, or sad over serious loss. Hello is not merely a word but rather a powerful sound that makes someone think that there is still good in the world. You may not mean to change lives but true kindness a genuine caring gesture does make the world a better place to live. Always remember to say hello because by doing that you may well be changing the world one greeting at a time.

DOWN SYNDROME IS ALSO REAL HONESTY

Down syndrome is often looked at by the massively ignorant as a handicap. I understand that there are serious limitations that hamper the possibility of a thoroughly independent life for those with down syndrome. I do have to say that people show a thorough lack of understanding in terms of the full scope of down syndrome when they talk about all the so called negative aspects of it.

I recently had a chance to interact with a boy that has down syndrome. The boy was an inspiration to me. Due to health issues as a child he did not have fully developed speech but he did look like he could play any sport with the greatest of ease and skill. The boy was loving, respectful, honest, and extremely well behaved. There was something more about this boy that really stuck out to me and that was the purity of his spirit.

Whenever I interacted with this boy he would ask me to see what he was doing as a way to share with me. I remember him illustrating what he was doing and how he was doing it. To this boy there was a beauty in even the simplest things. We can learn from people with down syndrome about so many things. A kid with down syndrome does not have an affliction but a way to appreciate the beauty of simplicity, love without lies and hypocrisy. I respect and revere people with down syndrome not because of what they deal with but because of the grace they overcome it with.

KATE PLUS WHORE MAKES ME BORED

I really dislike Kate Gosselin a lot in fact I dislike her as much as I dislike actual shit. To me Kate Gosselin is a false and extremely annoying woman that cashed in on her kids in the most annoying way. I was never a fan of John and Kate plus 8 and I did not think much of her participation in other series that shall go without mention. There is one person that I dislike as much as her and that person is Kendra Wilkinson.

Kendra Wilkinson became famous for being one of the three girlfriends of the Social Security Office's favorite bachelor Mr. Hugh Hefner also known as a ridiculous old man that thinks he still has some sort of game. Kate and Kendra have come together in order to take part in an episode of ABC'S train wreck known as Celebrity Wife Swap. 

I find it annoying that a couple of idiots with nothing to provide society are actually being given any sort of attention. I find this to be a part of America's problem at least on the entertainment front. Every time some talentless whore or hack comes along that person gets put in a television series documenting their uninteresting and overly rehearsed lives. I am assuming that this episode will have the light, dramatic and conciliatory tone that every episode has.

In the end this will be just another annoying episode that no one cares about and that when watched will represent lost time in someone's life.

THE ART OF SCRIPTING REALITY

I was watching an episode of Hardcore Pawn and I wondered if reality is so overly scripted that actual reality can't be separated. The episode I watched was about an employee stealing from the store. What I found interesting was how everything was set up in the previous episode and resolved in the following installment. Don't get me wrong, I worked on reality television series and I know that 99% of what happens is scripted.

What made me question this particular set of episodes is the fact that theft does occur in retail environments and I should know because I was a retail manager for years. The thing I find interesting is that even with all my instincts very clear I could not tell if the show was working the audience or if it was actually real in terms of the situation. I guess it's safe to say that certain writers have really learned how to get a sector of the audience confused enough to question their own instinct.

I like shows like Hardcore Pawn because they use real environments and give viewers a glimpse into what certain environments are like. I still wonder if reality has gotten to the point where you can't tell the difference anymore simply because even when an event that's real occurs it's overacted to blend in. Scripting reality is a truly an art that's hard to master given the audience as well as the nature of the series.

Shows like My Big Redneck Wedding and TLC'S Truth Be Told were prime examples of the story being magnified and manipulated to tell a story far removed from the real one. Reality television is simply a way to create content without spending the money required to make something good. While most audiences would rather watch a good CSI or a good 30 Rock networks want to give us something that can make the same advertising dollars without spending five to ten million per weekly episode.

Shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo give audiences that train wreck feeling that makes them want to watch. The real story in the end is the trumped up ideas of the "Story Producer" whose job it is to not only create interest but also help cut together something that when seen by audiences will leave them hungry for more.

Let's just say that nothing's as real as it seems and a scripted story drives us to look at our peers on television.

OH NO, KIM KARDASHIAN WILL CAUSE A WAR!

Kim Kardashian's recent visit to Bahrain caused an uproar and countless protests of all sorts. I am guessing that in Bahrain they don'tappreciate reality television. I guess I am having a hard time understanding the whole reasoning behind this. Is the protest because of her giagantic behind? I think the problem may be the store Millions of Milkshakes.

The truth is it's a ridiculous protest and while it came from hardline Islamic protesters it's still a clear waste of time. Kim Kardashian is not really a significant enough figure to merit this kind of attention. I see the scenario playing out in a manner that will affect the world landscape and it looks like this:

1. Millions of Milkshakes will likely become a strategic military stronghold.
2. Hardliners will take it over in order to express their distress.
3. Bruce Jenner will organize diplomatic talks with leaders of the opposing organization.
4. There will be a conflict needing the aid of the Seacrest/ Rob Rob alliance.
5. After 3 days there will a cease fire and finally the conflict will end.
6. * You can see all of this on the next episode of Kim International: Ass on the Hop.

The world really needs to evolve beyond a giagantic ass with little to no talent.

THE FALSE NATURE OF REALITY

I am sure you are looking for a significant picture of some sort but frankly this entry does not call for it. I was also feeling in an odd mood so I went to the fishbowl. In the kind of world we are living in we love to emphasize the concept of reality but I wonder if any of us really know what it is.

Reality defined correctly is somehting that did, or will more than likely take place at some point in some specific way. We cannot dictate reality, change it once it has happened and on top of that we cannot mask it to reveal what we wish. So then  why does reality have a false nature? Reality is one of those things that we love to try to mask because sometimes it's too fucking complicated.

I am a person that has suffered from that very syndrome of just wondering how I can make a situation from what it is to what I wish. I have realized that wanting things acertain way and actually having them that way are two wholly different things. In truth the world is too complicated for everything to align correctly.There are times when we "make it happen" but the truth of the matter is that those are few and far in between.

When we make those choices that we think are the right ones it turns out that we really are just doing one more thing that we are not truly sure of. It does not matter what we think or how strongly we feel because the truth and reality of one situation do not  really ever match the actual truth and reality we are faced with.

GIVE IT UP YOU JACKASS

I guess that when a bunch of idiots coined the term reality they decided that they would change the definition of the word. Along with prostituting the term reality into some sort of amorphous word they also decided to further plunge society into a shit hole by giving airtime to people that did not deserve alive time let alone a platform to influence anyone.

Let us start with the show Joe Millionaire or as I like to refer to it, shit on camera. This was a show about a supposed millionaire looking for his Ms. Right. The truth was that he was not a millionaire but a construction worker that was really an aspiring actor/ underwear model. This bastard series only captivated the ire of most because it was being labeled as reality. That series was nothing more than a whore version of The Bachelor. I won't expand on the latter series because quite frankly it is also a pile of serious feces.

The real fact of the matter is that these types of shows allowed moron after moron fifteen minutes of undeserved and unearned fame. Idiots like Evan Marriott and Darva Conger are given a platform to not only lie and pretend but also express how they are moral ad upstanding people. To these wonderfully "talented" circus clowns I say GIVE IT UP, IT'S OVER.

I JUST WANT TO CARRY YOUR BOOKS HOME

I want to take this particular opportunity to write about how romance seems to be a dying art. As I walked through a mall the other day I saw this one teenager with his girlfriend. The kid clearly thought he was some sort of rap star which was funny considering he made me think of Vanilla Ice in the Ninja Turtles movie. That having been said let me get to the point of this rant.

The kid was a vulgar point with no manners and no class whatsoever. What annoyed me was that the girl was equally ignorant and encouraged his boorish attitude. I wonder how exactly their interaction went. I can imagine it was something like:

BOY: Yo baby let's chill at the mall.

Girl: Like IDK  sure whatever!

BOY: Yo boo come on girl

Girl: My boyfriend like totally gets me you know.

The point is the kid was a jackass and he made me so angry I wanted to kick his ass. When I was younger and dating I had to work for a hello and really try everything from carrying a girls books to discreet hand holding at the regular places like the movies. While these were fifth grade tactics the fact that you no longer see them reminds you of societal decline in general. You have little kids talking about swag and how they want to be like Kim Kardashian instead of being individuals.

If all that kids are exposed to is overly rehearsed pop culture their ideas of relationships are going to be pathetic at best. This is why men no longer open the door for ladies. Wait there are no men just punks and morons. This is why there are no boys carrying girls books because they are too busy trying to be "players."

I think the problem lies with the idea that people need to be 100% free to explore from an early age. Yes I understand we all need to be individuals but if all you do is watch television and mimic garbage then you will pretty much end up like garbage.

 So how about it? Can I carry your books home?

DON'T PREACH WITH ONE HAND AND STEAL WITH THE OTHER

I have never considered myself a follower or a member of anyone's flock because I am an individual. I believe spirituality is an independent choice. What we as people chose to believe in is our right and our own very personal choice. What I have a major problem with is serious hypocrisy.

Everyone loves to believe in miracles and that's cool I respect that but there is something to be said for being so blind to reality that the horizon is nothing but pretty flowers with little pots of goody gold at the end of the rainbow. The fact is we always seem to follow one charismatic figure and drink a form of Kool Aid that takes away our ability to understand when hypocrisy and lies are afoot. Jim Jones was very charismatic and we all know the outcome there. So you may question me and ask where I see the hypocrisy. Let me answer your question and put your soul at ease.

I have read the bible enough times to know that Jesus did not have a Cadillac, a motorcycle, or an airplane. The fact is that according to the bible Jesus did not really have shoes while going from place to place. I am not actually trying to praise Jesus or thump bibles or beliefs like so many people try to do through mediums. I am simply stating that I don't understand why these charismatic electronic pastors seem to have a bigger cash position and better bottom line than even the wealthiest Americans. There is this vow of poverty that seems to be as well observed as obscure 1800's unamended rules.

The fact is that while Benny Hinn traveled first class in the Concord people starved and died waiting for their miracle. While Kenneth Copeland collects planes in his estate people hope that his words will materialize and lose it all providing for his needs. While Jim Bakker and his late wife Tammy Faye gave their dogs shelter that included central AC units people gave the tithe while at times going to bed without power, or some necessary utility. So they preach the word in 10,000 suits and million dollar homes while Gebus oh wait I mean Jesus wore tattered clothing and no shoes. Believe what you chose because you can and you have the right. Understand that what you do believe is not always exactly what you are told and the reality versus the actuality are completely separate hemispheres altogether.

PEACE BE WITH YOU!!!!!

DON'T TALK PAST YOUR PRIME

I love when people that are clearly past their prime decide that they want to start writing about themselves as if they are something special. I can understand the whole concept of good self esteem but there is something to be said for being borderline ridiculous on top of being happy about having been "special" during some point in your life.

Example 1: A middle aged woman out of shape walks into a bar and she starts talking to every young douche lion in the place to see who will take her home to experiment with a BBW milf. The middle aged gun slinger posts her conquest on her social medium of preference and talks of herself in the third person. The Lady says " The kitten scratches hard all over the place blah, blah, blah."

Example 2: A middle aged man walks into a bar and starts a conversation with a young girl. The girl ignores him and he moves on to the next then the next until a guy stops him from talking to his girlfriend in the worst way. The man says that he destroyed some young girls nether region and made her beg for more love.

The bottom line is that it's okay to feel young, act young, and know how to live life. There is something to be said for being a complete idiot that goes beyond youthful into ridiculous. So please remember that you should not talk past your prime.

OKAY WHAT THE HELL?

Recently I read someone categorically state that he was gay and that Jesus took it away. I have about a million different issues with that particular statement. I am not a gay person but I do know quite a few and I studied gay and straight relationships while doing my BA in college. A lot of misconceptions and stereotypes were cleared up for me while learning about gay and straight relations in college. Not all gays are clean and organized, not all are wilting flowers that can be kicked around, and many of them have strong values not centered on their personal preference.

I can't say that being gay is a choice or something that is genetically pre disposed. I know that there is a long running argument between people with regards to that but the truth of the matter is I am not the person to settle it or even weigh in on it. I do understand that saying "I was gay and Jesus took it away" is by far the most ridiculous statement I have ever read in my entire life.

First of all to say that Jesus takes gay away pretty much opens itself to massive misinterpretation. People may assume that Jesus wants the gay or that he kidnaps gay people I mean anyway you cut it the statement sounds just awful. I think that it's great to be religious and have your beliefs but I think it's abhorrent to be so ignorant that you would make a statement like that. Seriously people what the hell is the problem?