Wednesday, June 17, 2015

IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING CONSPIRACY!!!!!



Some strange shit is going on and I'm starting to think there is a universal conspiracy. Bruce Jenner is singing Dude looks like a lady, and the Golden State Warriors broke Lebron's heart winning their first championship in like forty years, CONSPIRACY I SAY! Some white woman is pretending to be black and being hailed a hero, conspirators afoot! Lastly Dr. Huxtable has apparently raped half of America, for shame CONSPIRACY!

Okay it's not really a conspiracy but I wanted to say or write that word because it amuses me so, have a nice day.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

SOME WORDS ON THE RACHEL THING



Honestly I try to avoid certain subjects because they tend to be lightning rods for controversy and I think life's too short for bullshit, but still some things I just have to comment on. Rachel Dolezal has been on the radar because she essentially lied about her race and as a result it's led to a discussion on identification, race, and so on. In her latest interview, with Matt Lauer she said that she identifies as black. Okay let me tell you why I have a problem with this.

There is a huge difference between identifying with something and actually being it. You can identify with whatever you want but that doesn't change what you, or who you are at your very core. The fact is that she is not black she is a caucasian woman, end of story. She spoke in her interview about the "black experience" and I'm wondering what the hell that means. Let's put a focus on that for a sec, blacks were enslaved for hundreds of years, seen as less, treated unfairly, discriminated against and made to fight for their basic human rights, is this the "experience" she is referring to?  Perhaps someone can explain to me how she was a part of that experience in her middle class upbringing.

In her interview with Lauer she stated that she as a little girl would draw picture of herself with a brown crayon. Does using a brown crayon qualify a person as being black? I drew self portraits with a red crayon but it doesn't make me Satan. I find her bullshit offensive because I have studied enough about civil rights struggles to know that this kind of move is, unwittingly or not, a huge slap to the face of every protester that was made to suffer major indignities during the Jim Crow era.

Let's put it in perspective, she identifies as black and feels that she has to lie about her race, she even claimed that an African American gentleman was her father. So does this mean she thinks she can make a difference in race relations by lying? It's clear Rachel doesn't know a whole hell of a lot. John Brown was a white man that was willing to take up arms in the 1800's in order to abolish slavery. Brown was influenced by black abolitionists such as Frederick Douglas and Soujourner Truth. John Brown did not identify as black, Brown did have a belief in freedom.

My point: RACHEL YOU ARE WHITE, MUCH LIKE YOU WHERE WHEN YOU SUED HOWARD UNIVERSITY AS A WHITE WOMAN FOR RACE DISCRIMINATION.

WORDS ABOUT LOVE


1) Sucks

2) FUCK!!!!!

3) Complication

4) Headache

5) WHAT?

6) Que?

7) Fucker

8) Coño

9) Ay

10) Dale

You welcome for making it totally uncomplicated and easy to get ;)

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

SEX TROLL UTOPIA


Social media has given birth......to the sex troll. The social media sex troll is usually a shorter, stubby fella with delusions of grandeur. Normally the sex troll will be rounder but he'll be trying hard to beef up. The Sex Troll lexicon will be something of an enigma. Sex trolls are well read, they usually read like twenty pages of Shapkespeare and will use the kind of dialogue that will confuse you enough to think " maybe this is a smart individual." The sex troll will normally be a male that has engaged in the art of chronic masturbation. Sex Trolls are the terrorists of dating because they make together fellas like me look like shit. The following are examples of the sex troll dialogue:

"Women must smell a man's scent"

"I'm gong to harvard in three years"

"I'll give you a Vegas bow tie"

"I'm feeling positive"

" Gotta hit my gym, lift some weights, and write three chapters of my novel " The Great American Chronicle of America."

" I love abstract, cerebral,thinky films."

"We can be friends."

In the end social media sex trolls are killing the twitter, the Facebook, fucking up the linkedin, and decimating tout ( is that still a thing?). Be on the lookout people, be on the lookout!

Saturday, May 2, 2015

SOCIAL MEDIA.......A DECADE LATER


If I had the dime for every time I hear the term social media chances are I'd probably be very popular at my local strip establishment of choice. While Social Media is one of the most annoying, overused terms ever it does make me think back to when I first joined Facebook. To me Facebook was somewhat useless, but fast forward nearly a decade and Facebook, like twitter. has become a part of my daily routine. It's funny though, Facebook has a feature that allows you to see how long a person has been your friend. It's incredible to imagine that some of these "friendships" are six and seven years old. You may never meet these people but in you are tied to their lives in a very real and sometimes emotional way. With social media you witness triumph, tragedy, success, failure. I'm not a huge advocate for social media, not at least from a super personal perspective but I am impressed nonetheless at how this phenomenon has taken the pen pal relationship to a whole new level.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER


The passing of Leonard Nimoy is one of those sad but "life is like that" events. Looking back it's easy to see why Nimoy was such a beloved figure beyond Star Trek lore. Outside of his identifying role as Spock in Star Trek Nimoy was extremely productive, from his directorial runs in television and film to also staring in shows like Mission Impossible. Leonard Nimoy leaves behind a legacy as one of those " I can do a million things" type guys. They just don't make them like that anymore, live long and prosper sir.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

TOP TEN BRUCE JENNER FEMALE NAMES


Now that Bruce Jenner has discovered he is a girl I have taken it upon myself to come up with possible names for him. The list reads as follows:


  1. Kimberly Jenner Saggy Tits
  2. Kanyeonce West
  3. Beyonce Z Kardi
  4. The World's Ugliest ho
  5. Atletica Mamando
  6. Armanda La Wango Tango
  7. Jannay Wheatie 
  8. Deca Jones
  9. America Vaginalis
  10. Fanny Brittany Martinez Johanson 
These are some possibilities, good luck Bruce, hope they bronze your balls and put them in the Smithsonian.