Saturday, May 2, 2015

SOCIAL MEDIA.......A DECADE LATER


If I had the dime for every time I hear the term social media chances are I'd probably be very popular at my local strip establishment of choice. While Social Media is one of the most annoying, overused terms ever it does make me think back to when I first joined Facebook. To me Facebook was somewhat useless, but fast forward nearly a decade and Facebook, like twitter. has become a part of my daily routine. It's funny though, Facebook has a feature that allows you to see how long a person has been your friend. It's incredible to imagine that some of these "friendships" are six and seven years old. You may never meet these people but in you are tied to their lives in a very real and sometimes emotional way. With social media you witness triumph, tragedy, success, failure. I'm not a huge advocate for social media, not at least from a super personal perspective but I am impressed nonetheless at how this phenomenon has taken the pen pal relationship to a whole new level.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER


The passing of Leonard Nimoy is one of those sad but "life is like that" events. Looking back it's easy to see why Nimoy was such a beloved figure beyond Star Trek lore. Outside of his identifying role as Spock in Star Trek Nimoy was extremely productive, from his directorial runs in television and film to also staring in shows like Mission Impossible. Leonard Nimoy leaves behind a legacy as one of those " I can do a million things" type guys. They just don't make them like that anymore, live long and prosper sir.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

TOP TEN BRUCE JENNER FEMALE NAMES


Now that Bruce Jenner has discovered he is a girl I have taken it upon myself to come up with possible names for him. The list reads as follows:


  1. Kimberly Jenner Saggy Tits
  2. Kanyeonce West
  3. Beyonce Z Kardi
  4. The World's Ugliest ho
  5. Atletica Mamando
  6. Armanda La Wango Tango
  7. Jannay Wheatie 
  8. Deca Jones
  9. America Vaginalis
  10. Fanny Brittany Martinez Johanson 
These are some possibilities, good luck Bruce, hope they bronze your balls and put them in the Smithsonian. 

Thursday, February 12, 2015

A FEW BRIAN WILLIAMS MEMES TO BRIGHTEN THE DAY








This is what happens when you lie from a position of public moral authority.

YOU HAVEN'T MADE IT...................UNLESS YOU ARE THE VICTIM OF A NET DEATH HOAX



When I was growing up I used to hear comedians say that " you haven't made it unless you've been in Johnny Carson's Tonight Show." If you fast forward a few decades, making it is now determined by internet death hoax. Every relevant celebrity is usually killed twice before actually dying. Everyone from Mickey Rourke to Morgan Freeman has been the victim of unfortunate internet death. It's eerie to think that sometimes the victim of said death is close enough to the grave for the rumor to be believed and spread, case and point: Chespirito. Ah death, makes a star of us all!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

TOP TEN LITTLE KNOWN THINGS LIKELY TO HAVE BEEN MISREMEMBERED BY BRIAN WILLIAMS


Okay come on now, the whole  Brian Williams thing is too delightful to pass up. Without further distraction here is a top ten of little known things Brian may have remembered differently:

1) That time he haggled with a crack whore, as Brian remembers it he was asking for directions and not a New York Minute.

2) That one time he told his wife he was a asking a kind lady for directions in a back alley because he got lost on the way to Tom Brokaw's Grammy party.

3) Brian may have misremembered that one time he shared a bonding moment with Bruce Jenner at Tom Brokaw's Grammy party.

4) When he politely nudged an old lady across the street, he may have remembered that a bit different.

5) When he  shared a special experience with his scout master, that may also have been a slight inaccuracy.

6) That time he gave Obama a " hard time" about Obamacare..........( That's for conservative and FOX News people, do with it what you must)

7) Brian may not be clear on the whole pimping bitches in Branson incident.

8) I think Brian may also have misremembered about that famous orgy in Bernie Madoff's vault.

9) The time he told a bunch of children about the existence of Santa Klaus and how he once rhode the sleigh.

10) That one time at band camp when he may have jammed..........okay a bit dated but who doesn't love a good American Pie reference?

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

LOVE HURTS.................OR I JUST WANT YOU FOR YOUR BODY


If you haven't kept up, America's jailhouse sweetheart Charles Manson was engaged to be married to a girl nearly 100 years younger than him. If you fast forward the clock it seems apparent that Uncle Charles has been bitten by the love monster, you know the one that leaves you broke and confused. I guess Manson's fiancé wanted him for his body, literally. No, the girl did not want a piece of his Mansonrang ( Batman reference ), she literally wanted his corpse. The girl wanted Manson's body so she could exhibit it as a sort of tourist attraction. I have to say this girl is about the most entrepreneurial person yet. Can you imagine the Facebook fan page? Oh the Instagram tags! #Manson #EmpireState, #Californiasexay, #Killerbiotch. I think it's kind of funny that a heartless killer has had his heart broken. Love baby, it conquers all!