Showing posts with label Bruce Jenner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bruce Jenner. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING CONSPIRACY!!!!!



Some strange shit is going on and I'm starting to think there is a universal conspiracy. Bruce Jenner is singing Dude looks like a lady, and the Golden State Warriors broke Lebron's heart winning their first championship in like forty years, CONSPIRACY I SAY! Some white woman is pretending to be black and being hailed a hero, conspirators afoot! Lastly Dr. Huxtable has apparently raped half of America, for shame CONSPIRACY!

Okay it's not really a conspiracy but I wanted to say or write that word because it amuses me so, have a nice day.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

TOP TEN BRUCE JENNER FEMALE NAMES


Now that Bruce Jenner has discovered he is a girl I have taken it upon myself to come up with possible names for him. The list reads as follows:


  1. Kimberly Jenner Saggy Tits
  2. Kanyeonce West
  3. Beyonce Z Kardi
  4. The World's Ugliest ho
  5. Atletica Mamando
  6. Armanda La Wango Tango
  7. Jannay Wheatie 
  8. Deca Jones
  9. America Vaginalis
  10. Fanny Brittany Martinez Johanson 
These are some possibilities, good luck Bruce, hope they bronze your balls and put them in the Smithsonian. 

Thursday, February 5, 2015

BRUCE..............REALLY?


I've never been critical of people's choices but FUCK, Bruce Jenner? I guess I'm having a hard time thinking of the decathlete  superman as a lady. Now whenever I watch an episode of CHIPS with Bruce in it it just won't be the same. I guess this is a logical step for him given the fact that he spent almost two decades being emasculated by that sexy, cougar hooker, ex wife of his. Bruce certainly isn't the first athlete to do this though, back in the 1970's RenĂ©e Richards, once known as Richard Raskind, did the same thing and went on to compete in women's tennis. Seriously though, they should release a 40th anniversary commemorative Wheaties box with Bruce as his new self.



Wednesday, May 8, 2013

KARDASHIANS ARE LIKE A CANCER THAT WON'T GO AWAY


I am sure you are wondering why I am writing another Kardashian hate entry. The truth is that I am wondering that myself. Perhaps I am trying to start a grassroots boycott of America's favorite trash. The fact is that these people continue to get attention for being trash, they don't contribute anything worthwhile to society. Kim makes porno videos, shows her ass, and doesn't do anything that takes real talent. Bruce Jenner acts like the ridiculous has been he really is with his horribly mangled face and 1976 olympian haircut.

The latest Kardashian press disaster centers around the fat, tattooed moron known as Rob. Rob is a fucking idiot that has done nothing useful ever at any point during his life. Rob was charged with battery and theft after an altercation with a female paparazzi. How classy of Rob to steal camera equipment from a girl.

Seriously I wish everyone would take the blinders off and look for things that are useful to society. The Kardashians are like a damn cancer that just won't go away. Let's all get together and act as Kardashian chemotherapy so the disease may stop spreading.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

THE SHIT THAT'S TOO MUCH: A TANGENT OF SORTS


I am not a fan of the Kardashians, Bruce Jenner, Kanye or just about anyone having to do with reality television and ridiculous self appraisals. My reason for writing this blog is because I can't understand why it's such a big fucking deal that Kris Jenner put on a wig while vacationing somewhere. What bothers me is that while the world is in the brink of chaos with bombings, nuclear war, and gun control debates, the Jenner wig has become a major trending headline. My question is simply" WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE? Is society so fucking blind that we give importance to a wig worn by a woman that sets the bar for shit? I mean seriously we as a whole need to examine what we can do to make the world somewhat manageable.

I don't think that paying attention to a pathetic old whore like Kris Jenner is really the answer. I used to respect Bruce Jenner because he was an athletic hero, now Bruce really does look like an old tenth grade teacher.

 
Bruce would be a great contestant on a daytime TV game show like Let's Make A Deal with his dignity being the grand prize behind the curtain. I know this is a tangent but you can't blame me when these people and their vacations, wigs, sex tapes, bastard children, and so on take precedence over the death of someone like Michael Gray ( China Syndrome). Instead of giving these fucking people importance and attention for being stars of a fake reality series we should consider what's important in life.

I am certain that a couple of idiots are going to say I am "hatin" because of what I am writing but the truth is that I don't really give a fuck. I am one in a handful of people that are tired of the real news being overshadowed by bullshit. I am tired of good television being put on hold while talentless fucks like Ryan Seacrest produce garbage that seems to get airplay it doesn't deserve. Let's all wake up collectively and go back to at least making an effort at creating a better world instead of bringing the world down with insipid programming.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

OH NO, KIM KARDASHIAN WILL CAUSE A WAR!


Kim Kardashian's recent visit to Bahrain caused an uproar and countless protests of all sorts. I am guessing that in Bahrain they don'tappreciate reality television. I guess I am having a hard time understanding the whole reasoning behind this. Is the protest because of her giagantic behind? I think the problem may be the store Millions of Milkshakes.

The truth is it's a ridiculous protest and while it came from hardline Islamic protesters it's still a clear waste of time. Kim Kardashian is not really a significant enough figure to merit this kind of attention. I see the scenario playing out in a manner that will affect the world landscape and it looks like this:

  1. Millions of Milkshakes will likely become a strategic military stronghold.
  2. Hardliners will take it over in order to express their distress.
  3. Bruce Jenner will organize diplomatic talks with leaders of the opposing organization.
  4. There will be a conflict needing the aid of the Seacrest/ Rob Rob alliance.
  5. After 3 days there will a cease fire and finally the conflict will end.
  6. * You can see all of this on the next episode of Kim International: Ass on the Hop.
The world really needs to evolve beyond a giagantic ass with little to no talent.