RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE LIKE THE DEVIL'S JUICE

You may either laugh or hate me after reading this, but life isn't perfect so I'm not really concerned. I think that this current span or generation of time we are living in has really made relationships the devil's juice. I don't know if the devil exists or what kind of juice he drinks but relationship juice may be his preference, or hers.

Relationships are so damn complicated, no matter the situation there is always that friction. The man/woman dynamic is so complex in so many ways. The toothpaste has been squeezed the wrong way, there's some show you can't watch because the bitch host looks too good, the explosion is always literally a second away. I love being in a relationship but the truth is that relationships are hard work. Any little thing you say can, and often times will be used against you in the court of sex, public opinion, and the sewing circle/ book club circuit. So why do it?

I have taken the liberty to point out a few of the reasons why we get involved:

1. Companionship
2. Friendship 
3. The sex 
4. Sharing
5. Caring 

All of the mentioned points are valid but for each to be seen there has to be some sort of hellacious journey. I'm not saying this is the rule but it seems to occur often and it gives me that feeling of "okay. "

Perhaps things will change in the future but until then, devil's juice dammit!

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WILL PISS YOU OFF

I have heard this "what you don't know won't hurt you" shit too often. I have to say that's a crap thing to tell a person. Knowledge, for good or bad really is power. When you withhold truth from an individual you will never favor them. People have a serious need to know and understand truth. If you are in a relationship that particular saying is serious bullshit.

I'm not an advocate of secrets nor am I an advocate of convenient truth. Not saying something that another person should no is total crap. I hate that secret crap, I guess I had to ride a soapbox for a few sentences before stating that the truth will set you free!

FAMILY NEVER GOES AWAY, NO MATTER HOW FAR AWAY IT IS

Last night I had the pleasure of talking to my oldest brother on the phone. It was cool to talk about the old days when I was was a little guy and what I remember about our late father and aunts and uncles. My brother told me something that stuck with me and made me think quite a bit.

I recall my brother saying to me that family is family no matter what. I began to think about our dad, how time and situations separate people for periods of time. Family is something special, that bond is unbreakable. You can be different from members of your family but somehow that bond makes up for differences.

Our grandfather, whom I never met, was a man of principle. My grandparents had a marriage of love, respect, and mutual dedication. When all his children were grown professionals our grandfather had this lovely family picture taken. I recall reading a dedication he wrote, the dedication spoke of the love for his children and the importance of a strong bond. The dedication was a testament to what a great family man he was and what a great family he and our grandmother had created.

Family never goes away and it doesn't matter how far they are away from one another. Family is much greater than anything else in life, a close unit will always pull through in any situation, in part because of all the differences that make us complement one another.

AGE IS A STATE OF MIND

As I close in on my 35th birthday I wonder if perhaps I'm getting to old. I think if anything I'm a baby starting out. I look at age as nothing more than a state of mind. My body of work reflects a still very spry mind with an almost boundless ability for material. I'm not saying that I'm a genius but I am extremely good at being tireless.

I look at past examples of age not really playing a part in achievement and there are some prime examples. When people want to accomplish something, they find a way to defy time. I'm not saying we can stop time from passing, but we can use what time brings as an ally.

When George Burns was nearly 80 he began what would be considered the best period of an already lengthy and storied career. Jack Benny was in his late 70's and was still commanding high ratings with his specials based on The Jack Benny Program. If you want to accomplish greatness, work at it and if you want to preserve it make sure to believe in your own ability to do so in spite of time.

MARRIAGE IS GREAT, WHEN TAKEN IN MODERATION

I think marriage is a wonderful institution, kind of like Disney World. When you enter marriage it's a lot like going to Magic Kingdom in the sense that there's wonder, joy, a little apprehension, some spending, and in the end you leave asking yourself why. Marriage quantity is also like Magic Kingdom in the sense that the more you go the more you spend and the less satisfied you are.

We jump into marriage sometimes too soon and sometimes not soon enough. Often times we go in because we fear living alone for a period of time or for the rest of our lives. Marriage can be the solution to a problem and a problem that never really needed solution to begin with. Sometimes we treat marriage like a ferris wheel with different colored pods.

I think it's vital we understand that those pods each have a different personality and they are likely to swing in ways we may not understand or appreciate. Marriage is wonderful in the same way that scolding hot coffee is wonderful, it keeps you up, worries you, and gives you a feeling of invincibility coupled with massive headaches.

I say marry with good intentions, live with better intentions and worry without consideration. If your marriage dissolves remember always that life is one and you must live on to fight another day.

A LOT OF DRAMA LEADS TO LITTLE RESULTS

I'm not a big fan of drama, it seems like whenever the art of drama is involved in real life there is no way to make things move forward. I think we all engage in drama some way or another but when we do say in a manner that defines us, we really end up screwing ourselves, sometimes beyond repair. There are no winners when drama is at the epicenter of any situation. If you take anything from this blog, take the understanding that drama under any other context is simply bullshit in disguise.

PARENTING CAN BE HELL

As a parent I want the best for my son but sometimes it's impossible to not want to strangle the kid. Kids at a certain period can become unruly, rebellious and impossible to deal with. I think what bothers me the most is when that rebellion manifests itself quietly. When a teen is not really open about the daily goings on, it means that they are screwing up somewhere.

As a parent I want to understand but as someone not so far removed from my teens I can remember how hard it was to be that age. I still seem to have the hardest time relating to the whole teen angst thing. I guess it's a combination of me getting older and life rapidly evolving. I am better able to understand what life was like for my parents and yet I just don't want relent in my ways.

Parenting is fun but it can also be hell as time goes by. I guess my only choice is to really wait this out and look back it fondly in a few years time.

WHEN IT'S OVER

Marriage is one of those lifetime propositions that seems to work less and less now a days. I think that part of the reason why marriages fail is because people would rather move on than stick around and grow apart. I think part of this is due t to the fact that a lot of 50 year marriages are made up of people who were enemies and didn't really know it. You can tell by just looking that a couple is comprised of two negative halves, especially when the husband looks like he wants to fade away.

I think that when marriages are over, people don't have to hate one another. Life is too short for hatred and pettiness. I think if the wife gets it al she should be happy, the friends should shut the fuck up, and the kiddies should consider themselves lucky. If the parents, assuming there are kids, love the kids and are on the same page then let's all have a dinner.

I think that when it's over, if it's over, it should be in a civilized manner. I pride myself in the fact that my current state is one of tremendous civility. I think the whole when it's over thing should be done with civility. I do have to say that if there are extenuating circumstances there is a good chance that there will be some sort of bloodshed.

THE ART OF REBIRTH

Not too long ago I was feeling incredibly down, in fact I needed to reach up in order to touch the ground people walk on. As I sat in the dark wondering why I was even alive I felt a snap. I knew that there was something wrong and that something was the erosion of self belief. I knew that I needed to get up and rise again.

I realized in that moment when things seemed to snap that I was going to experience a rebirth. To me a rebirth is a sort of art, you have to look around at everything you see wrong and breathe in. Once you take that breath you close your eyes and drift into another state.

Once you have drifted you find yourself in a whole new level, at least I did. Yes there is rebirth, there is a possibility that life will get better when you have hit the bottom of the pile. I say this out of optimism, because I have lived it, I have lived through it many times. Yes I understand what it's like to fall, get up, fall again, and get up again and I don't mind.

Next time you fall, remember that if you wish to you will be born once more and rise.

THE SMALL MINDEDNESS OF ARROGANT PEOPLE

Some people really surprise me, mainly because the narrow scope of their mind doesn't allow them to see their own glaring imperfections. I see that as a manner of arrogance and I just abhor it. People will lift their chin up and act like such assholes some time. It's sad to think that some individuals don't have it in them to be normal, not necessarily humble, just normal.

I know a few people like that, people whose idea of success is plain, stupid arrogance. The funny thing about arrogance is that it's also a blinding agent. When you become arrogant you become tunneled by your own stupidity you tend to lose sigh of what's around you, both good and bad.

My simple advice to people like that is " Keep your eyes open." When something special comes around you may miss it and when your foundation crumbles beneath you, you will not be able to repair it.

EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS?

Did you ever have one of those days? It seems like everything starts out right and then suddenly it goes so wrong you are left wondering who you pissed off? Life is incredible that way and sometimes it takes a while before you can assimilate things. I've had days like that but rather than focus on how much they take out of me, I'd rather focus on what they give to me.

I'm healthy, intelligent and confident so a day that make may feel like I should be thankful. I have more going for me than what I realize and that's the case for most of us. So what do you do during a bad day? I compiled a little to do list:

• Breathe
• Relax
• Take a walk
• Look Around
• Let out a big FUCK IT

The fact is that life is short and when you waste one day you waste 1,000. When those days happen just relax and let your mind work its magic.

A DAY FOR REFLECTION

I often hear people refer to certain days as days for reflection. I think that the human condition merits reflection every single day should carry a period of reflection. Each day carries 24 hours and only 8 are spent sleeping, not in all cases. At the end of the week we have at least 90 hours we can reflect upon. I'm not suggesting that you grab a notebook and make notes on everything you've done, but using the mind to process a moment in time is a good way to spend idle time. I see Sundays as a good time to do some reflection.

I don't stop to reflect over a 112 hour period, but rather about times that have meant something. I sometimes think of days that shaped me, like my days as a youngster in elementary school. I remember the first time I asked a girl out, what a day. I asked this girl if she wanted to be my girlfriend, she said maybe an never anything again. I know that this girl liked me, if she didn't she wouldn't have been such a bitch.

Today is the Sunday I shall take to reflect on why some women are so fucking difficult. The way a woman reacts to you at an early age is a great indicator of how she will react in the future. If a girl says something and acts all weird later, she will play with you. If a girl says something and kicks your testicles, that girl will be the devil without the Prada.


Women are fascinating creations that make this world a better and more interesting place, that's why I love and respect all of them, except for Nancy Grace because I'm sure she hides a penis and testicles. Okay, I have reflected today and I hope I shall be a cleaner and better spirit for it. The chances are likely I'll still be tomorrow, comforting thought, for me at least.

WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO BE PATIENT IN LIFE

I am a writer and that means I'm, by nature, awkward, moody, prone to anger, and sometimes arrogant  given my own feelings on life. My experience, my background, and my nature often times put me in a spot where it's difficult to see certain things. I may write a political entry, an entertainment entry, or an entry about life itself. What I write often depends on my mood, but chances are that as I go I will miss a thing or two. One thing that I learned while working on my MFA was to be patient.

As a writer I wanted perfection, the white elephant that does not exist, except for in fairy tales. I wanted so bad to write a perfect screenplay that some times I would drink myself blind with frustration. During a drunken attempt at perfection I decided to take a nap. When I woke up some twelve hours later I looked at my computer screen and I had one word on my screen, patience.

I realized that I was not happy because I was so impatient. I was reminded of all the conversations that I had with people not only in school but throughout my life. Everyone from my father, to my brothers, to everyone I ever met that succeeded, had real patience. Patience is that one virtue that you can always gain if you are willing to open your eyes for a quick second. There is something about patience that just  makes success and life in general, that much better.

Patience is not easy to come by and sometimes it's nearly impossible to get. I don't consider myself a fully patient individual yet but I am getting there. I am surrounded by people I don't always agree with, techniques I don't like, and views I want to wipe my ass with, but I am somehow able to bypass that and look at the long term. The word long frustrates everyone because it implies wait, suffering, and a lot of headaches that are impossible to handle.

In life nothing you do will ever be perfect, but learn to wait, learn to be patient and ultimately the payoff will come around.

KARMA, I GUESS

I am not an authority on spirituality, in fact I am far from a knowledgeable source on the topic. I do like karma a lot as far as spirituality is concerned. My reason for liking it is as simple as the definition of karma itself. Karma is that universal law that pretty much returns whatever you have given out, good or bad. To me karma is like a very real force that keeps you from being a total asshole. If you fuck up, or fuck someone up, karma takes care of it. I like the simplicity of knowing that I don't have to lift a finger for someone to pay for their shit behavior. I don't expect karma, I don't see it, it just happens on its own sooner or later. The whole point here is that you need to remember nothing in life is absolute, life is a cyclical proposition. Karma is life's spin cycle and if you mess up it will rock your ass in ways you never thought possible if you decide to act as a downdraft to others.

THE UNCANNY POWERS OF A SIMPLE MIND

I am sure you're wondering how the picture above relates to the title of this entry and the answer to that is that it doesn't. The picture made me smile which is why I chose it and I am sure it does the same for you. This is an entry about the simple minded, or as they are known in some circles, the very stupid. How do you define stupidity? One definition for stupidity is " A poor ability to learn or profit from experience." I don't like the word stupidity because it's kind of mean, I prefer simple minded.

The thing is that I admire simple minded people because in some ways they have an easier path to inner peace than people with greater cognitive abilities. The very simple minded do not see every possible complication with daily life. A simple minded person often sticks to one particular source of strength to solve their problems. The simple minded individual believes in miracles and often has a misguided and somewhat annoying view of spirituality.

Spirituality has a million definitions for a million people but for the simple minded it usually means " God will solve my problems because the bible said so." I respect other's right to believe but with the simple minded it's almost innocent and childlike. A simple minded person often sticks to one goal and pursues it blindly without any shame whatsoever, to a stoner a simple minded individual is likely to be the equivalent of a chasm.

The very simple minded can almost seem wise in their very simple approach to life. We are all so complicated by nature that making a situation simple almost seems like the act of a wise man or woman.  If you look at a chimpanzee the first thing you think is " this is a monkey" and a monkey is a simple, strong, agile creature. When the monkey does something like identify a circle we all clap without realizing it was a simple act. The human race is full of chimpanzee like creatures that can identify a circle without necessarily having to talk circumference, radius and all that jazz. We chastise the simple for being below par but we really envy them.

It's fair to assume that even the minimalist philosopher is searching for the peace that comes with a perennially blank slate. The simple mind seems to almost extend life, and no, I'm not saying that old people are stupid. Next time you want to criticize the simple remember that you are criticizing the beauty of a calm spirit and yearning for that very sensation.

ALONE

If I was alone I wonder what would the world be like. Would the world be a better place? Would I see it differently? I wonder if I would approach things differently. Perhaps if I was alone I would be angrier and perhaps I would be happier. Life may just be better alone, I would not feel the pressure of a million demands from a million different people.

Alone and lonely, perhaps not, maybe I will be a great companion. To be alone is not a crime especially if you know what you do with your time. Alone maybe I will discover something great. If I am alone and I have no one at home I would be feeling strong, alone.

NEVER GIVE UP

I have heard that I need to give up my dreams and ambitions so many times. I have heard it said that I have " far out" goals and the truth is I don't give a shit. People that criticize me for taking action in pursuing my dreams are also the very cowards that do not have the courage to go after their own dreams. The fact is that dreams will only as far as you take them. If you have your dreams stuck to a pillow chances are better than average they will never come true.

I am living my dream because I want to live my dream. I am a writer, I am everything I wanted to be. I do get paid to do what I love but not as often as I need to. I know I will get paid more eventually and I can make the adjustments but giving up is not an adjustment I am considering. I made a decision that I would not put myself in a position where I would be the waiter and writer combo. This is not me being arrogant or unrealistic, it's me saying that if you want something in life you get it regardless of what you are told.

Life was meant to be lived with real desire, we are not here to exist and just be. To hell with all the cowards that are willing to wake up and exist. I respect every person's decisions in life but to be honest I don't really care what they think of mine. I am a writer, I write because I love to write and because I can write. I live life to the fullest because it's what I want. Every possession I have will live on because I can't take it with me. My dreams are something that will define me as they become reality and when I am gone people will remember what I dreamt, what I accomplished and what I stood for.

Dream on if you have the courage, achieve if you have the strength and never give up if you have the heart.

SLEEP, WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO?

Lately I find myself up at some ungodly hours wondering why my eyes won't close. I thought I had an issue given my addiction to caffeine but that could not be it at all. I stopped drinking soda and anything containing caffeine in an effort to improve my sleep issues but I still fail to close my eyes successfully.
I tried counting sheep but nothing seems to help me at all.

I think sleep must hate my guts or it must love me so much it choses to stay away. I think my relationship with sleep is like an unhealthy coupling of sorts. Sleep is like that girlfriend that is great in bed but frigid most of the time. I call sleep and it's like calling someone that just doesn't like me. When things are okay sleep and I get along well and I have two or three good days but then suddenly I am eating shit again.

I think sleep is a fickle and angry lady that just isn't satisfied with a lobster dinner and some wine. I think sleep wants to take my essence in what I consider to be a ridiculously unhealthy relationship. I can't break up with sleep because I need it and it won't break up with me because it's such a spiteful bitch.

THE LOVE JOURNEY

I used to think that the whole "LOVE" thing was more of a stoner mantra than anything else. I respect people as a rule of thumb and I respect whatever their choices are even if said choices differ from my own. I am sure you are probably wondering why there is a picture of a cannabis leaf in this entry. I will explain that in a minute so please hold on to your commentary.

I was at the metro in Amsterdam one night after a night of discovering the treasures of the city. I was fresh off a delicious meal in an Argentine steakhouse and on my way to a pleasant slumber. I remember that night so clearly. The sky was clear and the air was cold, a December night lit up by trees, light, street music and the feeling of Christmas. I remember I felt uncomfortable with my outfit because I hate wearing layers and restrictive style clothing.

As I sat and looked out the window of the metro I was asked if I was a tourist. The person that asked me the question was a brit with a backpack and a look of immense joy. The fella started asking me what I thought about marijuana and I answered as best I could. I remembered saying that I never felt it really did harm to anyone. The man handed me a card with some drawing and the word LOVE on it. I remember the card looked like a mixture of rorschach's work and ramblings of stoner artist.

Curious I asked my British stoner friend what it was and he responded with " It's life and the answer." I recall that I smiled and proceeded to leave without giving it a second thought. The brit offered me the opportunity to smoke some weed with him but I was not interested so i shook his hand and told him to enjoy himself. When I arrived at my destination I looked at the card and every part drawn in black had a line that resembled  a long and winding road. I thought about what the stoner said for a few days.

I realized that what my burnout friend meant was that love can really solve anything and guide you through some of the hardest roads to travel. I know that love is something we like to associate with hippies, stoners, and weaklings. The fact of the mater is that there is nothing wrong with allowing a little love to penetrate our jaded souls because in the end all the material possessions, bitterness, and differences we have do not accompany us to the grave. Love is the universal force that we are born with, live with, and can chose to go on our never ending journey with. Let's love one another people because it isn't a stoner mantra so much as it is the only absolute reality in life.

WHEN YOU TRY TO PRY

Have you ever been in that position where you are trying to get something from someone and it's impossible to do so? What I mean is making that attempt to have a conversation and while you set the base for what could be something wonderful you are handed shit in the vein of a monosyllabic response. Sometimes it's understandable because there are conversations that you don't want to have but what about the important ones?

What I mean by important conversation is let's assume you are a father having the talk with your daughter's future better half. Imagine if instead of a good strong talk you have something like:

DAD: Hey John

GROOM: Sup

DAD: How are you?

GROOM: I'm k

DAD: Pardon me

GROOM: I'm good.

DAD: So what are your plans once you are married?

GROOM: Dunno

DAD: You what?

GROM: Dunno

DAD: You don't know?

GROOM: Yup.

This could go on forever with the end result being some sort of near tragedy involving a dog, a dove, and a Ford Pinto. Do I have a point with this? Yes I do as a matter of fact. There are times when you need to be guarded and there are times when you need to be open. There is nothing wrong with starting a conversation that has some sort importance and there is even less wrong with helping that conversation expand into something of meaning. Next time you want to be a jackass remember that he who does not try usually eats shit.