BITCH IS CRAZY!

Stalking during the social media age has become something of a victimless crime because stalkers are usually thousands of miles away from their victims and they can't go beyond obsessing with pictures. Once in a while there is that one crazy person that goes way beyond the obsessing over pictures. Let's not mention the rapes, murders, and other such tragic events and stick to the online stalking.

Say you hear that little ring and some girl says "hi." You feel lonely so you decide to answer and let's face it it is flattering to have some girl say hello. This is the first chat:

Girl: Hi
Guy: Hello
Girl: How are you?
Guy: Good
Girl: Where do we know each other from?
Guy: Our shared social media network.
Girl: You are very handsome ;)
Guy: Thank you ;)
Girl: LOL
Guy: LOL, jajajaja you are really sexy
Girl: Likewise
Guy: What are you up to?
Girl: Not much, just finished taking a bath
Guy: Hmmm
Girl: What's that for? LOL ;)
Guy: Sounds relaxing
Girl: TTYL
Guy: Alright sexy!

So the conversations go on and an initially innocent flirtation goes on until someone says something like marriage, love, or something that implies some serious long term commitment. Suddenly the girl is picking out a china pattern and you are trying to get away so you block her. There is a period of peace and ultimately she creates a new profile and several fake profiles to make your life a living hell. The bottom line is that the bitch is crazy. I have to make it clear that in most cases it's men that stalk women but when the occasional woman does it it will be a twice as nice nightmare.

The fact is that nothing will ever replace getting to know a person. It doesn't matter if a woman stalks a woman, man stalks a woman, woman stalks a man, it's all insane. Social media stalking is the sport of the socially underdeveloped person whose obsession with attention due to a bad childhood finally has some sort playground. Social Media is a great way to make the world smaller but at the same time it's also a fantasyland for people with a fragile grip on reality.

I am a firm believer in being open to the whole idea of using social media for gains in terms of friendships, contacts and so forth but I advise everyone be cautious. I am not going to sit and write about big brother conspiracies or tell everyone that social media is the devil but I will categorically state that you need to be careful because BITCH IS CRAZY!

DON'T TALK PAST YOUR PRIME

I love when people that are clearly past their prime decide that they want to start writing about themselves as if they are something special. I can understand the whole concept of good self esteem but there is something to be said for being borderline ridiculous on top of being happy about having been "special" during some point in your life.

Example 1: A middle aged woman out of shape walks into a bar and she starts talking to every young douche lion in the place to see who will take her home to experiment with a BBW milf. The middle aged gun slinger posts her conquest on her social medium of preference and talks of herself in the third person. The Lady says " The kitten scratches hard all over the place blah, blah, blah."

Example 2: A middle aged man walks into a bar and starts a conversation with a young girl. The girl ignores him and he moves on to the next then the next until a guy stops him from talking to his girlfriend in the worst way. The man says that he destroyed some young girls nether region and made her beg for more love.

The bottom line is that it's okay to feel young, act young, and know how to live life. There is something to be said for being a complete idiot that goes beyond youthful into ridiculous. So please remember that you should not talk past your prime.

Hit the Floor

There is one thing I love about going to nightclubs and that is people watching. I think that going to a club is a wonderful exercise in seeing that small portion of courage that people will muster up in order to impress others. I like the fact that there is always a group of stud wannabes that finished their shift at the local Foot Action and now see themselves as club gods.

When you transition from the Foot Action guys you head straight into the dudes that have a decent job but are unsatisfied and they will tell the world that they are promoters, producers, or maybe even business owners. Those particular guys are the biggest jokes because they think they are main attractions of the evening usually those guys will try to hit on anything that moves. From the total fakes you move on to the "players."

I love when I see these guys at work because normally they are so insecure that they chose to get out of their Bentley and Rolls Royce automobiles and pay outrageous tabs that include drinks for everyone. For some reason I do not clearly understand, these guys are always either going home alone or with a girl that will only tease them all night. On the ladies side it's usually one of two things.

The ladies are usually in groups of three or four and the groups are easy to understand. Some ladies want to have a good time and chill without being bothered, some ladies want to have a sucker pay for the drinks and others are hunting for some adventure. At any right they all seem to congregate in one place and that is the floor.

I like to go to places and look at the floor because quite frankly when they all go out they all look stiff as boards and dance so horribly. I like looking at people dance because it's like watching them do a dry heave and continue. I think that the beautiful thing about people on the floor is that they all look like extras from the "Towering Inferno." There will always be the dude or girl that can really dance but again it's all a matter attention in a place where no one knows or really cares who you are because chances are that they will never see you again.