MY FIRST BRUSH WITH INSANITY

You ever have a brush with insanity? I remember when I first met this particular aide of the mind. I was about 6 years old, the year was 1985. I use to love to watch cartoons on Sunday mornings. I was a morning person and the youngest in my home, so being up early was almost a requirement. I was really heavy into action cartoons but I had a soft spot for Warner Brothers classics. I remember one Sunday morning in 1985 very well because what I saw gave me the feeling that it was okay to think beyond normal, and into the insane.

The cartoon I saw was called Porky in Wackyland, that cartoon was a gem of insanity that saw Porky fly into some sort of crazy world in search of the one and only Do Do. I thought this was some cutting edge stuff. This world known as Wackyland was the first visual psychedelic world that was visual to society. This short was crafted in 1938 and it became something of a hit, with children and parents. The thing is that this cartoon was a serious step into surrealism.

Surrealism, to me, is something of a state of insanity. Visually speaking this cartoon was a trip to insanity for me. I did not understand this cartoon and I hated the fact that it had no anvils, pianos, that it had cartoony qualities whatsoever. Weeks later I would see things in clouds and come up with stories about the world in general. I was an oddball of sort because I could see more than He Man or other trendy characters.

I wondered if I was crazy for feeling this way, but I realized years later that I was not crazy. This cartoon introduced me to insanity, a friend and aide. When it's properly controlled and reigned in, insanity is a special friend. Thanks Porky, I owe you for that special day.

BIEBER FEEVER GONE TOO FAR

Worry not Bieber fans as your idol is still the source of much conversation even amongst depraved killers. I must say Bieber Fever has really gone beyond being an STD you get by listening to this generation's version of Paul Anka (google it). I say this because Justin Bieber was the target of a murder plot by some convicts in Las Cruces New Mexico.

To make a long story short I guess one of the killers has a tattoo of the icon on his leg. To me this is an example of Bieber Fever gone too far. Part of the plot was to go ahead and castrate Bieber and his bodyguard Rufus T. Firefly. I wonder if the killers were going to auction the members on ebay. I learned of Bieber Feever while watching Key of Awesome's educational youtube spot on it.

I was not aware of the fact that Bieber Fever could go this far but thank heavens that our idol of idols is safe. Now I say let's move on to more important matters and figure out how the Gangnam Style dude is part of plot to destroy the world through incredibly lame music and horrific dancing.

I JUST WANT TO CARRY YOUR BOOKS HOME

I want to take this particular opportunity to write about how romance seems to be a dying art. As I walked through a mall the other day I saw this one teenager with his girlfriend. The kid clearly thought he was some sort of rap star which was funny considering he made me think of Vanilla Ice in the Ninja Turtles movie. That having been said let me get to the point of this rant.

The kid was a vulgar point with no manners and no class whatsoever. What annoyed me was that the girl was equally ignorant and encouraged his boorish attitude. I wonder how exactly their interaction went. I can imagine it was something like:

BOY: Yo baby let's chill at the mall.

Girl: Like IDK  sure whatever!

BOY: Yo boo come on girl

Girl: My boyfriend like totally gets me you know.

The point is the kid was a jackass and he made me so angry I wanted to kick his ass. When I was younger and dating I had to work for a hello and really try everything from carrying a girls books to discreet hand holding at the regular places like the movies. While these were fifth grade tactics the fact that you no longer see them reminds you of societal decline in general. You have little kids talking about swag and how they want to be like Kim Kardashian instead of being individuals.

If all that kids are exposed to is overly rehearsed pop culture their ideas of relationships are going to be pathetic at best. This is why men no longer open the door for ladies. Wait there are no men just punks and morons. This is why there are no boys carrying girls books because they are too busy trying to be "players."

I think the problem lies with the idea that people need to be 100% free to explore from an early age. Yes I understand we all need to be individuals but if all you do is watch television and mimic garbage then you will pretty much end up like garbage.

 So how about it? Can I carry your books home?