WHERE WE ARE GOING

Over the last few years there has been a proliferation of online degree programs. I remember ten years ago when I was finishing my BA there was talk of online programs. I heard about this and did not think much of it. Ever since that day I have seen the spurt of said programs and I have to say I am amazed. I think that education's future with very few exceptions is headed to the virtual classroom.

More and more people chose to work from an early age in order to make money and secure a stake in their lives. I think online education is a prime example of how society is oriented today. We stake a major part of our lives on the net. Now dating, friendships, and work all come from online connections.

It doesn't matter what people in a conventional world say we are all headed to a virtual universe and the sooner this is properly accepted the sooner the world can increase its effectiveness.

THE FAUX PHILOSOPHER

I love people that call themselves philosophers because they profess to have a vast knowledge of everything. I seem to run into people that love to just spew knowledge like sewage and venom. I really enjoy hearing how the sky is not really blue but rather a reflection of our thoughts. It seems like the less you look the more likely you are to find a self appointed philosopher ready to give you some sort gem about life.

My favorite kind of philosopher is the peace, love, and understanding philosopher. This is the kind of person that will write and speak in redundant fashion without realizing it. You hear statements about brotherhood and staying strong and it's usually one load of shit coupled with another load to make a super load. I really enjoy the part about how peace is found from within rather than through outside sources. I have read the thing about peace from within since I could read so every time someone puts it on their Facebook I have to laugh a little bit. Of course the peace, love, and brotherhood person is not
the only philosopher I know.

There is a philosopher that I love to listen to and that is the religious philosopher. There is something special about this type of philosopher that makes me smile. The religious philosopher is stern and stands by his or her nonsensical type principles that really make you examine absolutely nothing at all. I hear words about the existence of a cadre of spiritual unrelated figures and so on and so forth. The religious philosopher will always have a chip on the shoulder because what he or she says not only makes little sense but also it  doesn't have a strong merit base. Philosophers love to share every bit of knowledge that they can and they come in all shapes, sizes and disciplines.

In the end these "philosophers" are nothing more self righteous and insecure morons without any depth whatsoever. I will always enjoy reading the pearls of wisdom from faux philosophers because I need some entertainment to keep myself relaxed and amused.

AND THE OPPONENT IS.............. GLENN BECK

I guess Glenn Beck was unhappy about no longer being a relevant figure so he decided to go ahead and enrage a significant portion of the population by referring to the WWE as " stupid wrestling people."  I assume o'l Glenn meant to say that the people in the WWE are unrefined and therefore would assume that characters imitating tea party members are giving the wrong impression about the tea party. It's clear to me that Glenn Beck knows nothing about scripted personalities and much less about storytelling for the purpose of entertainment. I took offense to this moron's comments because while I don't watch wrestling now I did use to watch it religiously as a kid.

The whole point of a wrestling storyline is to keep fans entertained. I remember back when I was about 12 the big storyline was Hulk Hogan, an all american icon, against Sergeant Slaughter who was billed as a turncoat Iraqi sympathizer. That story was controversial in some ways but it played to the American spirit of unity during times of war. I remember that I was proud of being a Hogan fan because I was on the side of good. I'd venture to say that while times have changed and wrestling has changed since those days there is one thing that hasn't changed and that is creating a storyline based on relevancy.

The relevant issue in society is politics and its hot button topics. It so happens that immigration is one of those issues that's hot. Glenn Beck refers to the WWE as stupid but I wonder if he understands that he is making himself look like the most ignorant of individuals. The fact is that he has given the storyline of two tea party like characters against a hispanic figure greater attention because it evoked a major response on his part. Glenn Beck has really made himself look like a moron that doesn't understand the first thing about television. Let me help Glenn understand what it is that he is doing to himself right now.

Glenn you got taken in by a story because it hit really close to home. You are fighting characters as opposed to actual people. The fact of the matter is that you are making your cause look pathetic in attempting to defend your position. What you have done here you stupid crybaby is enrage a likely significant portion of your audience and a far greater segment of the population. Not everyone follows FOX but a huge number of people around the world follows the WWE. Glenn Beck you can safely say you "marked out" like an idiot in a basement. In the end everyone can point at you and say there goes that stupid tea party mark commentator that can't really tell the difference between reality and an exaggeration of reality for the purpose of entertainment.

THE LAURA BUSH GAY MARRIAGE AD

Former first lady Laura Bush requested that her clip from an interview be taken off an ad advocating gay marriage. The reason this bit of news caught my eye is because the trending headline read "Laura Bush Gay." I am not writing this to give an opinion on gay marriage but rather to point out a few things that struck me. This particular article that I read sparked a myriad of comments that ranged from Nazi Germany comparisons to vile comments on gay marriage.

I personally feel that when someone is going to give an opinion on such a sensitive subject they should be educated on their reasons for being either behind it or against it. To bring the Nazi Germany comparison in is absurd but to say that this is a ridiculous cause is equally absurd. If you agree or disagree with homosexuality it's your business but please be educated when rendering an opinion. I think it's bullshit commentary that not only divides us as a society but also makes us look like an ignorant and rudimentary nation.

People do not need to agree on everything in order to be progressive but they need to have the ability to listen as well as discuss. I think it's fair that as a free country boasting of the best democratic system in the planet we act much in the same manner as our founding fathers did. Ages ago a document was crafted and in detail it outlined a government by the people and for the people, why is it that 236 years later we cannot stick to the hopes for growth and progress that crafted that document?

IN THE OPINION OF A FAT PILL POPPER

Rush Limbaugh is one of those guys that you just can't seem to get away from. Listening to this guy is like being stuck in a bathroom full of shit without a fan or a can of air freshener. Rush's latest brilliant move is to state that he is ashamed of America for the first time in his life. I think it's time someone made it clear to Rush that America has been ashamed of him since the day he came to prominence. Rush Limbaugh is like a bad imitation of Walter Winchell.

In the same vein as Winchell it's fair to say Rush spent no more than six years in school and that includes a good two or three years in the second grade. This fat fucker sits on that chair of his to spew venom without citing real fact. Rush's latest gripe is with federal spending and the current state of the economy. My question for Rush a simple one: What's your answer to the nation's problems? All this fucker does is attack and talk about conservative vs. republican without any real answers to the problems. I have a great idea, I think Rush should help be spreading some of the fortune he has amassed over the last several years to those less fortunate, especially those that look to him as a deity of sorts.

Does Rush remember that time he admitted he had an addiction Oxycontin? Some people claim his addiction was between 5,000 to 20,000 dollars per day. This is the guy that wants to serve as the voice of reason for America. The fat pill popper is not fit to look himself in the mirror let alone tell America that he is ashamed in order to serve as moral compass. I am not trying to pick sides here but the more I listen to what this fat idiot says the more I feel like developing some sort of contraption for flinging crap at high velocity.

Yes the economy is bad and yes it's necessary to take some sort of action to reign in spending but none of that will be resolved by listening to this fat asshole. Hey Rush please breathe, pop some pills and shut the fuck up.

MARK HAMILL BACK AGAIN

The rumors of Mark Hamill's comeback are running rampant. I mean that Hamill is likely coming back to reprise his role Luke Skywalker in the new Star Wars saga. I want to come back to something I wrote previously with regards to this very speculation. How will the movie be written? Yes there is an expansive Star Wars universe that goes far beyond the first three films and also the prequels but that universe lives on in print only.

I like Mark Hamill but he is a little beyond past his prime so the big thing is going to be making the Jedi middle aged and kind of in that mold of the old guy that had something long ago. A lot of the speculation centers on making the children of Luke and Han and Leia the focus of the new story. All of this speculation is obviously feeding the machine which is great for future box office numbers. I still wonder how a reunion of the original characters will be received by die hard fans.

Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Billy Dee Williams, and Harrison Ford all look like they have been fighting wars through the galaxy for the last thirty years. In a way all the players look like George Lucas hoped they would when he mentioned this particular set of stories. Other rumors even mention Luke as the center of all three films, I think that would be a mistake. Star Wars has youth appeal combined with the idea of an elderly and sage kind of advisor leading the way to maturity and an eventual confrontation with the villain. I am interested to see where this particular set of trilogies will go especially given the possible participation of original cast members.

Time will tell how this story will be told but one thing is for sure and that's my presence on opening day  because I am still a little dork at heart.

THE KNOW IT ALL

Ever find yourself dealing with a know it all? I find myself dealing with know it alls quite often and it never ceases to amaze me how people that know it all seem to have that shield against reality. I have multiple examples of know it all individuals and all of them have a deeply entertaining specialty that stands out in terms of their knowledge.

My first know it all is the know it all that cites statistics which have no real merit behind them. I love hearing how 37% of the time people that count to five will count to four twice because four plus four is equal to eight. I love it when statistics that make no sense whatsoever are applied to politics. A person who knows it all will say something like " 40% of the time a voter will vote for a better candidate because 20% of the time said voter will be unhappy with their previous choice." The statistics know it all usually has either a lisp or a horrible personality or both. A person citing statistics with no sense to them and putting them down as the law and rule of thumb is also usually incapable of achieving any sort of erection or sexual satisfaction. I understand that this happens at least 27% percent of the time all the time. As we move on through the journey we make our way to the know it all that specializes in history.

I have heard that Vietnam was an attempt by the US to hide aliens in the city of Da nang. I have heard that the moon landing was shot in a studio and I have heard compelling arguments made for Elvis Presley's current status as a secret CIA agent trying to rid the world of scum. I sit and listen to these theories because when a person states their case there is usually some sort of ridiculous and unproven fact that makes it impossible to walk away. The know it alls that try to talk about history will also say that it is "matter of fact" that while Eisenhower was in a toilet he contemplated a surprise attack on Canada in an attempt to corner the faux bacon market. Of course you cannot leave out the know it al that covers life in general.

The know it all that loves to act like he or she has a handle on zen philosophy is life's all purpose know it all. That know it all philosopher loves to throw out words like agnostic, pagan, vegan, syphilitic, atheist and so forth. What I love about this know it all is that they always have an answer to everything. You can ask this know it all about every subject from botox to douche bags and this person will always have an answer. The general know it all has a response to everything and is a self actualized human being. This person knows more than doctors, lawyers, plumbers, and architects. You can never get into a conversation with this person because you must listen to their wise words. I will now state my feelings with regards to know it all as a way to wrap up my little diatribe.

If you know it all you suffer from the following conditions:

1. Shit personality
2. Inferiority complex
3. Stupidity
4. Lack of social skills
5. Lack of interpersonal skills
6. Fishy taco
7. Erectile disfunction
8. Inability to spell
9. Inability to understand things when they are explained ad nauseam 
10. Bitterness
11. Jealousy

In the end know it alls will always be here in spite of their conditions and inability to see what ridiculous idiots they really are. I am thankful for the existence of know it alls because without them life would be dull and I would not be able to laugh with joy.

CELEBRITY REHAB IS PURE SHIT

I wrote on a previous entry about how I felt with regards to Dr. Drew. I referred to him as a cheap whore and I touched upon my sheer feeling of disgust for the show Celebrity Rehab. Now I want to touch on why I think that show should be canceled altogether. This show is everything that's wrong with the world today. No one and I do mean no one can be cured in the public eye when dealing with addiction issues. This show takes celebrities long past their prime and desperate to be seen again and gives them a chance for exposure.

What I hate is the fact that a lot of the celebrities that go on this show see it as a way to publicly exorcise demons in order to work again. I hate the fact that Dr. Drew says "I wish we could take more responsibility." I would love to ask him if he actually ever made the effort to reach out beyond the show. Dr. Drew claims that he spoke to Mindy Mccready recently, some two weeks prior to her death. The fact is that Mindy's problems had not ended after her run with the show so I wonder how aware he was of her issues.

I understand that individual responsibility plays a part on a person's ability to rehabilitate. I am aware that it's up to the person what he or she wants to do as far as overcoming addictions is concerned. I don't believe that there should be a public forum for celebrities to do so. Making a comeback professionally should not be what a public figure thinks of when entering a rehab facility. There is a new and very annoying fad in the world of entertainment today that drives this stupid show.

Celebrities have come back from obscurity bigger than before because they have recovered from addictions. Now there is a forgive such and such a person movement because such and such a person may still prove surprising like say, Mickey Rourke. Celebrity rehab bothers me because it capitalizes on that and weak celebrities assume that they could once again reach a certain level of prominence. I do wonder how those celebrities feel when they realize they are sharing that stage with figures such as Michael Lohan whose biggest achievement is being Lindsey Lohan's father.

Not everyone that has battled addiction has also retained any semblance of marketability and to make them think otherwise is a travesty. The people that have overcome addiction have done so privately and with every intention of making their life right. This asshole Dr. Drew should think for once in his life and try to act on the side of ethics for once in his shitty life.

Enough already, cancel that stinking show and let people be.

BULLIES ARE BITCHES AND THAT INCLUDES TRUMP

I read that Donald Trump is planning to sue Angelo Carusone if he doesn't withdraw his petition to have Trump dumped from Macy's. Trump is threatening a 25 million dollar lawsuit if Carusone continues. I am guessing that the petition's close to 700,000 signatures have King Combover more than a little worried. I think it's really funny to see how when a bully is prodded a little he reacts like a total bitch. Trump is a sack of crap and he has been bullying people around for years. Now someone has decided to stand up to him and he threatens financial death to that person.

I love how Trump's attorney referred to Carusone's methods as mob like bully tactics. There is nothing mob like about a petition and Carusone is a man that I am sure does not have Trump's connections or anywhere close to Trump's money. Someone called out Trump for being an asshole an stood up to him and he does this. Trump is like every bully I have ever met and that is loud, overbearing, and full of stupidity. Why is the man that called out the President acting like a victim?

Trump is afraid of the fact that Carusone will not back down and will slowly get enough support to become a real problem for him in many fronts. The world doesn't need another bully for any reason whatsoever. Trump has been exposed before on the basis of his huge ego and he is likely to be exposed again. I think Trump's fear is the fact that on a different century and millenium he will once again be known as just another big bitch.

THE PISTORIUS EXCUSE

Over the last few days I've been following the tragic death of the beautiful Reeva Steenkamp and I have to say that every time I see some news story with background or a new development it really breaks my heart. I don't know much about Oscar Pistorius outside of his inspiring achievements as an athlete. Pistorius seemed to have the world at his feet given his incredible athletic ability in spite of his very serious handicap.

The death of his girlfriend comes as a shock especially given the circumstances. Pistorius stated that he thought a burglar had snuck into his home and he went to confront said burglar. The story Pistorius is trying to tell sounds like a defense crafted pack as opposed to the real truth. I know that the crime stats in South Africa are staggering but Pistorius said that he yelled at the "intruder" in the bathroom. If he yelled I doubt that his girlfriend did not hear him well enough to yell back. I also fail to see how after the first shot landed his girlfriend did not let out a yell in pain and horror.

Reeva Steenkamp was still alive when he "realized" she was in the bathroom. I am sure Pistorius feels horribly about what happened but that won't change the fact that a beautiful girl with a promising future is now dead. It's been rumored that steroids were found on hand so of course everyone will likely point at a steroid rage incident but I think there may be more to the story. I won't speculate because it's not in my nature to do so. There are still some things that don't make sense like the bloody bat.

I am wondering what the bloody cricket bat will reveal when tested by forensics. I don't know honestly if the bat has been tested yet or what the fate of that development has been as of yet. Time will tell what really happened through the process of a trial but something tells me that there will always be something missing that only Pistorius and the late Reeva Steenkamp know. In the end this is a tragic event that will forever be remembered as definition of Oscar Pistorius.

DR. DREW IS A CHEAP WHORE

If you think I call this piece what I call it because of the picture then you are jumping to conclusions. I really dislike Dr. Drew because he is everything that I hate about what medicine has become. Let me try to explain what I mean in a manner that will actually make some sense. I first saw Dr. Drew on the show Loveline back in 1998 or 1999. Dr. Drew was the serious counterpart of well known dipshit Adam Carolla. Loveline as I remember it was basically a show for a bunch of pathetic teens and twenty somethings looking to get advice about how to suck less, or more, at sex.

I thought Dr. Drew was pretty cool by comparison to Adam who is just such a major douchebag. I did not hear much more about Dr. Drew and quite frankly I did not particularly care. I guess Loveline continued on and Dr. Drew's radio and television star began to grow more and more. Eventually I would see Dr. Drew make an impact as a counterpart to that self serving fuck that calls himself Dr. Phil. I still thought Dr. Drew was cool when he broke out as a star of sorts. I stopped thinking that he was cool when his show Celebrity Rehab took to the airwaves. I thought that while celebrities looking for some attention were pathetic to do this he was far more of a dick.

I don't think substance abuse is something to use for the purpose of entertainment. Today marked the death of the fifth participant from that show to die. I understand that addictive behavior is not something that you can just cure overnight. I guess because I understand that I am wondering why a Psychiatrist seems to be cool with attempting to cure long time addicts over a six to eight week period in front of cameras placed strategically in areas where celebrities seem to break down just right. I stated earlier the Dr. Drew was part of what was wrong with medicine today.

I am seeing an evolution where Physicians no longer see their patients but have assistants do it. Money is so important that you will get sent to collections for five dollars and mental health is a televised fad. Fuck guys like Dr. Drew and every Doctor that choses to play a round of golf over seeing a patient. I would never quote Charlie Sheen but he was right Dr. Drew's rate of success is total shit.

THE RED CARPET DUMBASS SYNDROME

I love idiots that think they are members of the elite, highly limited true celebrity group. I find it entertaining that said idiots consider themselves players when in all reality they are quite the opposite. In the age of social media they take pictures of themselves with or at the very least near celebrities and refer to them as "my dear friends." Seriously, how pathetic can you be? Some of these morons have day jobs that they want to keep a secret because they don't consider them to be on par with their "celebrity" status.

I guess that by that set of standards I can consider myself a superstar author. I mean I have ghost written a book, self published another and between my blogs and articles for yahoo I have generated somewhere in the neighborhood of 18,000 hits. I guess that makes me a red carpet, no wait it doesn't and neither does the fact that I was a finalist in the Beverly Hills Film Festival Screenwriting Contest.

I don't care for these little pretenders that consider the people they have requested their " lovely dear fans." I have news jackass and those news are that no one knows you, at least not yet so please stop the bullshit. The truth of the matter is that there is only one real red carpet and everything else is a cheap imitation. Don't call yourself a player if you don't know the rules of the game, it's immature and annoying.

Be real and please don't try to flaunt a talent unless you actually have it.

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY........YOU KNOW

The entertainment world is on fire with the recent news of Harrison Ford's unofficial but done deal return to the role of Han Solo. I am pretty amped to hear that because I am a big Star Wars fan but I wonder how that will play out. The latest installment is due out in 2015 which means Ford will be 71 or 72. I wonder how exactly they plan to pull this story off.

The fact is that Star Wars is a universe full of a million different stories surrounding different characters in the saga. I wonder what exactly they plan on covering and if there is a place for Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. There is a magic element to the original cast getting together again but the true box office appeal is really on Harrison Ford who is himself more of an elder statesman. Role reprisal has proven a reliable source of income for aging stars but it doesn't necessarily mean that it will help the film in the long run.

If they don't bring back the original cast it's fair to say that a story will have to be crafted that will cover the demise of the other characters. I think that doing something like that will really piss off the loyal fan base simply because a lot of people like the continuity of the characters and story after Episode VI. People went to see the latest installment of Rocky because they love the nostalgic value of the series. I am guessing that this latest film will be a huge hit regardless of how the story is presented.

One fair question will be if they decide to go the TRON route with this particular film. In the sequel to TRON Jeff Bridges met with an end designed to give the story legs for either another film or a different medium. The Star Wars saga covers print, animation, video games, and just about everything that a person can get their hands on so the legs are not necessary. The question is will they take Harrison Ford and make him a character that comes in as a sort of mentor? I also wonder how they will approach the Jedi aspect? This is another big question seeing as how in the book continuations the Jedi Order was re-established by Luke Skywalker and let's face it everyone loves the sounds and colors of the lightsaber.

Star Wars is the entertainment world's most lucrative cash register so chances are that staying loyal to the original source material and the original storyline won't really be a priority seeing as how this is now a Disney owned franchise. May the Force be with you JJ Abrams.

JOE RICKEY HUNDLEY YOU ARE TRASH

I find it abhorrent that a man 60 years of age would slap a crying baby in an flight and yell racist comments at him on top of that. Joe Hundley is a 60 year old man and there was no excuse for what he did. I am disgusted by the fact that this piece of garbage would do something like that. I hope this man is never allowed to travel again. I don't like kids on planes but I would never hit a kid and call him racist word.

To me the most surprising thing is that this behavior came from a man that old. Usually someone his age group is a lot smarter than that even if their is racism involved. What I find funny is that this man's attorney is begging everyone not to rush to judgement. I wonder how no one could judge this guy? You never slap a kid for crying especially if that kid is in a plane and isn't related to you. This old bastard has a previous record for carrying a concealed weapon and he was intoxicated according to police.

I wonder if people in the airline could detect the old man was drunk or if he is so good at concealing his drunkenness that he went undetected. I think that people who have this kind of tendency should be picked out for screenings. I am aware that this man is not a terrorist but he was still a nuisance and what he did created enough stir to garner national attention. Perhaps airlines should ban alcoholic beverages especially given the uncertainty in travel these days. Trash like Joe Hundley should never be allowed to fly let alone do so under the influence.

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP?

Two fifth graders in Spokane have been arrested and are being held on conspiracy to commit murder. The kids are 10 and 11, mere children conspiring to commit murder. One kid had a knife and the other kid had a gun. So far no names had been revealed but the fact is that the little assholes had a plan. Apparently the little beasts were going to kill another classmate as well as an ex girlfriend. My question is simple: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP?

First of all most fifth grade relationships started around snack break and ended in recess, in my time. What the hell is going on now that fifth graders are so devious and fucked up? I also want to know what a little kid was doing with a gun. How did this kid get a hold of a gun? This is a sign that something in the vein of gun control legislation really has to happen. I know times have changed but it seems like the concept of innocence is dead instead of different. I just can't imagine little kids doing this and actually planning it to the point of having weapons ready.

This is horrendous  turn of events that should serve as a way to create conscience. A lot of things need to change to try to give future generations different examples. We are living in some seriously messed up times. As a nation we need to really pull together in spite of our differences.

Democrats and Republicans will never agree on anything but this goes beyond politics. This goes beyond religion and it goes beyond race. This situation needs to go deep into the consciousness of a society where the fight over the right to be able to act violently is overshadowing the events that are currently taking place. These kids were planning a murder and I just can't wrap myself around that concept. I guess the days of Saturday morning cartoons are over and we now have to worry about kids killing each other during recess.

KATE PLUS WHORE MAKES ME BORED

I really dislike Kate Gosselin a lot in fact I dislike her as much as I dislike actual shit. To me Kate Gosselin is a false and extremely annoying woman that cashed in on her kids in the most annoying way. I was never a fan of John and Kate plus 8 and I did not think much of her participation in other series that shall go without mention. There is one person that I dislike as much as her and that person is Kendra Wilkinson.

Kendra Wilkinson became famous for being one of the three girlfriends of the Social Security Office's favorite bachelor Mr. Hugh Hefner also known as a ridiculous old man that thinks he still has some sort of game. Kate and Kendra have come together in order to take part in an episode of ABC'S train wreck known as Celebrity Wife Swap. 

I find it annoying that a couple of idiots with nothing to provide society are actually being given any sort of attention. I find this to be a part of America's problem at least on the entertainment front. Every time some talentless whore or hack comes along that person gets put in a television series documenting their uninteresting and overly rehearsed lives. I am assuming that this episode will have the light, dramatic and conciliatory tone that every episode has.

In the end this will be just another annoying episode that no one cares about and that when watched will represent lost time in someone's life.

LET'S GO ON A CRUISE! I HEAR CARNIVAL HAS A SPECIAL

The ill fated Carnival Cruise lines ship that was adrift for five days is a great example of a somewhat funny situation blown out proportion. People are calling this a disaster but I think that's a bit extreme. One thing is to poop in bags and smell the funk of days adrift and another is losing lives, the latter did not take place. I have never been a huge fan of cruises because honestly so many days at sea can get boring for me.

I think the whole Poseidon Adventure angle that people are trying to put in this situation is exemplary of a society where poop and urine are way worst than a tidal wave. Everyone is alive and well, no one died and there will be other days. Seriously what is the big deal here people? I understand that there is fall out but I think this serves as a valuable lesson for people not to go on Carnival Cruise Lines and their cut rate cruises.

From what I have heard about Carnival being in one of their ships is almost like riding an Amtrak train and expecting complete safety. The ship is back, everyone is safe and no one had to resort to cannibalism. I wonder if there is a group rate on lawsuits at the law firm of Seaman, Givens, and Travers. If my friends could see me now! I assume they would say I smell like urine and week old feces     and would also say the ocean breeze does not agree with me.

COSTCO, MEETING ALL YOUR TIFFANY & CO. DESIRES

I read this article about Tiffany & Co. filing suit against Costco because apparently the retailer has been selling engagement rings wrongly labeled as Tiffany's. Apparently Costco has been doing this for years and there may well be thousands of Costco members that are thinking they made a great purchase of a Tiffany ring when they didn't. Oh man where do I begin with this?

It's completely different finding a designer irregular shirt or something from last season at Costco than finding a ring from a company known to be exclusive with its products. Assuming that you could find a Tiffany's engagement ring at a Costco is almost like assuming you could find a Cartier ring at a flea market. Costco does carry jewelry and from time to time they will carry impressive pieces or very good brands. The truth of the matter is that most of the time what Costco carries as far as jewelry is something that you can get on the internet with relative ease. I do wonder about a few things though.

If Costco has been doing this for years, how come someone just now noticed? More than one person must have known about the exclusive nature of Tiffany's engagement rings. Is it possible that Tiffany's was supplying Costco with pieces that didn't move in order minimize losses? A lot of companies strike deals behind closed doors and in confidentiality. Tiffany's could have easily been supplying merchandise to a few stores which is not a big enough deal to make the front page of the financial pages of any publication.

Tiffany's is making a major accusation and it's obvious that they feel they have a big case against Costco. I just don't understand how a major retailer would knowingly engage in selling counterfeit merchandise. This isn't some small timer selling fake Coach purses in China Town or a lady selling Louis Vuitton imitations on the side of the road. The more I think about it the more I wonder if this isn't a sort of ploy to get more people to shop at Tiffany's and more members to look at Costco's jewelry cases.

THE PADRE SAYS " NO MAS"

Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation from his post came as a major shock to everyone including members of his inner circle. The resignation did not come with a special specific announcement to that end but rather as part of routine proceedings. The Pope cited ill health and advanced age this was the first resignation in six centuries. The resignation of the church's key figure brings about interesting questions.

The first question is: Who will replace him? The fact is that whoever replaces the pope has their hands full. The Catholic Church is facing crises left and right starting with allegations of sexual abuse cover up that undermine its moral authority. Whoever is chosen must have an understanding of the Catholic Church's present issues including the advent of the Evangelical Movement in Latin America and Africa. The next pope needs to be someone with a more human touch and a less authoritative and standoffish attitude. Pope Benedict was no John Paul II when it came to giving off an air of accessibility.

A second question: Will this be a lifetime commitment for the next guy? The fact that this is the first Pope to cash in the 401k in six centuries makes me wonder if there is a new precedent about to establish itself. The Pope is the key figure in church but let's understand one thing, being the Pope is almost like being a political figure. The Pope is the spiritual leader of something close to a billion followers worldwide. While the church no longer influences policy due to separation of church and state the fact is that the church is no less powerful or able to create controversy given it's stances on issues ranging from birth control to policy.

The Pope's resignation was a move that was practical in nature but at the same time it shows one thing, the church is in a state of chaos. The controversy that seems to surround the catholic church is entirely too much. The views and disputes on birth control and approaching populations is far more than people seem to understand. The fact is that church doctrine is less important to people in general since there is a separation of church and state but these are still matters of real importance on the world stage.

If I were to classify this particular Pope it would be as a transitional figure. John Paul II was at the helm for 26 years and became an iconic figure of mythical proportions. It would never be possible to replace him let alone find someone to have a similar impact. Now I assume the church will try to find someone that stands out as far more polarizing, open, and appealing. Given the current state of the church it's fair to wonder if the next in line will consider their charge a lifetime commitment or see resignation as a possibility.

BATMAN WILL KICK SUPERMAN'S ASS EVERY TIME

I know a lot of Superman fans will hate me for this but I guess it goes with the territory. Batman is way cooler than Superman and will always kick Superman's ass. I know Superman is from another planet and is practically invulnerable to anything you throw at him. I am keenly aware of the fact that Batman is a human being without superpowers as opposed to the man of steel.

Batman has intelligence and the ability to think in terms of what's right in the end as opposed to every moment. I find Superman to be a sort of puppet of the system. I like Superman from a science fiction perspective but I see him as a sort of idiot that doesn't understand that in life you can't always do what one man tells you is correct or follow every imposed law or rule.

The latest DC Universe animated film shows that Batman is a far more developed character than Superman because within his flaws he tries to work for the improvement of society even if it means going to places that are dark and somewhat unnecessary. Superman is like that annoying kid in the classroom that's always polishing the apple and snitching on the other kids even though he isn't always right.

From a character perspective in just about every way Superman will always be Batman's Sunday bitch. Sorry Superman fans but facts are facts so learn to live with it.

IS FOREVER YOUNG FOREVER TRAGIC?

I was reading some old story about jean Harlow and I got curious. I read up on her life and the tragic circumstances behind her death. Jean Harlow was someone that went through a serious amount of suffering and disappointment prior to hear death at age 26. Years after Jean Harlow another brief but equally mythical figure in James Dean would become a legend more for unfulfilled promise and an early tragic death than his sensational roles in the three films that made him a star. Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley would have that same kind of early end with the magical " What if?" and sadness that surrounds charismatic figures.

Thinking about this figures led me to wonder what is so wonderful about forever young. It seems that the whole concept of being remembered as a young figure that never aged is shrouded in tragedy. Let's go person to person for a second so I can illustrate my point in a manner that makes sense. Jean Harlow was the platinum blond whose performances lit up the screen and made her a golden age superstar.

Jean Harlow's life included three divorces, mysterious circumstances regarding the shooting death of her second husband and a domineering mother. The span of stardom that Jean Harlow had was about six years and her platinum look was created by a supremely dangerous chemical mix that some have credited as helping the deterioration of her health. Jean Harlow died of renal failure and during a time when such an issue could not be avoided let alone treated. The platinum blond was 26 and never had a chance to go further and also develop the kind of life she wanted on a personal level. It's fair to say that while forever young she will be forever tragic. James Dean is similar to Jean Harlow in that his death at 24 was so tragic it made him the icon of icons.

James Dean had a convoluted relationship with his mother, was an outsider in Hollywood and was never able to be with his true love, Italian actress Pier Angeli. James Dean was rumored to have a tumultuous personal life and was more often than not trying to tempt mortality. Ultimately James Dean died in a fatal car crash while on the verge of starting the first film of a new nine film million dollar contract he had signed. James Dean was 24 and at that point had only starred in three films over a one year period. Every time people think of James Dean they think of the red jacket, Rebel Without a Cause, and a spot in the diner located in the boulevard of broken dreams. Marilyn Monroe is a similar but sadder story still.

Through the 1950's Marilyn Monroe was the sex symbol of Hollywood and while she was seen more as a trophy of sorts she became a massive star. Marilyn Monroe was a box office juggernaut whose popularity increased more and more as time went on. On the sad side Marilyn Monroe suffered heartbreak with bad relationships and even sadder affairs. Marilyn Monroe's sadness came through in her performance in the film The Misfits. In 1962 Marilyn would die at age 36 of an apparent overdose. Marilyn was still beautiful, young, and promising at that point. Elvis Presley was the king of Rock n' Roll music, the man that  sang with so much emotion he would make his audiences stir from the first number to the last wave.

Elvis from the beginning was having to fight some sort of battle. When Elvis began to make it in 1954 with That's Alright Mama everyone viewed him as immoral and going against good all American values. Elvis lost his beloved mother while in the army and was surrounded by a bunch of idiots that were only too happy to extract whatever they could. After a painful divorce and a lonely life Elvis would die of a heart attack resulting from his abuse of prescription drugs. Elvis was only 42 and basically lived to feed the urchins that surrounded him like Col. Parker. All of the people touched in this entry were young and could have gone on but were never really afforded a chance at true happiness.

We think of these icons in certain images but the truth is that these icons were people and those images were just brief moments in time that did not encompass their sadness, loneliness, and pain. In the end these people died young and left the image of youth but they also left the definition of tragedy. Forever young really is forever tragic.

BITCH IS CRAZY!

Stalking during the social media age has become something of a victimless crime because stalkers are usually thousands of miles away from their victims and they can't go beyond obsessing with pictures. Once in a while there is that one crazy person that goes way beyond the obsessing over pictures. Let's not mention the rapes, murders, and other such tragic events and stick to the online stalking.

Say you hear that little ring and some girl says "hi." You feel lonely so you decide to answer and let's face it it is flattering to have some girl say hello. This is the first chat:

Girl: Hi
Guy: Hello
Girl: How are you?
Guy: Good
Girl: Where do we know each other from?
Guy: Our shared social media network.
Girl: You are very handsome ;)
Guy: Thank you ;)
Girl: LOL
Guy: LOL, jajajaja you are really sexy
Girl: Likewise
Guy: What are you up to?
Girl: Not much, just finished taking a bath
Guy: Hmmm
Girl: What's that for? LOL ;)
Guy: Sounds relaxing
Girl: TTYL
Guy: Alright sexy!

So the conversations go on and an initially innocent flirtation goes on until someone says something like marriage, love, or something that implies some serious long term commitment. Suddenly the girl is picking out a china pattern and you are trying to get away so you block her. There is a period of peace and ultimately she creates a new profile and several fake profiles to make your life a living hell. The bottom line is that the bitch is crazy. I have to make it clear that in most cases it's men that stalk women but when the occasional woman does it it will be a twice as nice nightmare.

The fact is that nothing will ever replace getting to know a person. It doesn't matter if a woman stalks a woman, man stalks a woman, woman stalks a man, it's all insane. Social media stalking is the sport of the socially underdeveloped person whose obsession with attention due to a bad childhood finally has some sort playground. Social Media is a great way to make the world smaller but at the same time it's also a fantasyland for people with a fragile grip on reality.

I am a firm believer in being open to the whole idea of using social media for gains in terms of friendships, contacts and so forth but I advise everyone be cautious. I am not going to sit and write about big brother conspiracies or tell everyone that social media is the devil but I will categorically state that you need to be careful because BITCH IS CRAZY!

FRENCH ME SOME OXYCODONE MOMMY

So I was reading for some interesting material and I came across the most disturbing tidbit of the day. The headline read "Mom Son Drug Kiss." This is the kind of thing that makes you wonder: What the fuck? Apparently the mother of some jailbird was passing her son oxycodone by kissing him in the mouth. The article that I read did not specify if the kiss was French or even slightly Parisian in nature. 

I am not quite sure if the inmate, who was identified as William Partridge, was trying to distribute the pills or if he was just using them for his own purposes. There are so many angles here. The guy's last name is Partridge so you could go with the semi obscure I think I love you reference or perhaps do a write up on him being Shirley Partridge's long lost son. 

In all seriousness this is a disgusting piece of news not just because of the kiss angle but also because of the unforgivable enabling nature of the mother. I understand the whole idea of giving your kids the best but this is a bit much. Go on mommy dearest feed more drugs to your idiot kid, oh wait I think she's going to prison too. 

RACIST RABBITS!

I saw a news story about a California family that is suing Disney because the person playing the Rabbit character was behaving in a manner that could be considered racist. The person did not want to hug their kids, who are African American, and was hugging white kids. When I first saw the headline I wondered if this was for real simply because Disney is supposed to be the place where everyone is equal. I know that Disney can't really tell if a person is racist or not but their attitude has been that of a company backing the racist rabbit.

I think Disney with its abysmal track record for subliminal and sexually suggestive animation as well as racial undertones in film really needs to work its way out of this one. According to the news story Disney has attempted to get the African American family to sign a waiver in exchange for tickets. Disney always seems to want to cure everything with tickets and Mickey Mouse watches.

At the end of the day Disney should more carefully screen its people because although you can't always tell who's racist and who isn't you can get some sort of idea. If the person in the costume did not want to hug the kids because they were black and in front of them hugged white kids then that person is racist. I can understand the family wanting to sue on principle because this type of bullshit cannot be covered up.

I wish the family the best of luck making rabbit stew.

THE ART OF SCRIPTING REALITY

I was watching an episode of Hardcore Pawn and I wondered if reality is so overly scripted that actual reality can't be separated. The episode I watched was about an employee stealing from the store. What I found interesting was how everything was set up in the previous episode and resolved in the following installment. Don't get me wrong, I worked on reality television series and I know that 99% of what happens is scripted.

What made me question this particular set of episodes is the fact that theft does occur in retail environments and I should know because I was a retail manager for years. The thing I find interesting is that even with all my instincts very clear I could not tell if the show was working the audience or if it was actually real in terms of the situation. I guess it's safe to say that certain writers have really learned how to get a sector of the audience confused enough to question their own instinct.

I like shows like Hardcore Pawn because they use real environments and give viewers a glimpse into what certain environments are like. I still wonder if reality has gotten to the point where you can't tell the difference anymore simply because even when an event that's real occurs it's overacted to blend in. Scripting reality is a truly an art that's hard to master given the audience as well as the nature of the series.

Shows like My Big Redneck Wedding and TLC'S Truth Be Told were prime examples of the story being magnified and manipulated to tell a story far removed from the real one. Reality television is simply a way to create content without spending the money required to make something good. While most audiences would rather watch a good CSI or a good 30 Rock networks want to give us something that can make the same advertising dollars without spending five to ten million per weekly episode.

Shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo give audiences that train wreck feeling that makes them want to watch. The real story in the end is the trumped up ideas of the "Story Producer" whose job it is to not only create interest but also help cut together something that when seen by audiences will leave them hungry for more.

Let's just say that nothing's as real as it seems and a scripted story drives us to look at our peers on television.

THE NEW GEORGE BURNS IS: BETTY WHITE!

Every decade there is a comedian that stands out because he or she manages to beat the clock through laughter. The cool elder statesman of the 1970's was Jack Benny and after him came George Burns. Burns rejuvenated his career in the 1970's after his performance in The Sunshine Boys which garnered him an Academy Award and a legion of new followers that saw him move on to performances in Oh God among other films as well as as the release of a country album. I think that the long lasting nature of these comedians is due to their ability to make people laugh.

The new elder of comedy is Betty White, whose double entendres and grand dame demeanor make her one of America's treasures. What's amazing about how these comedians get to that point is the fact that they creep up like cotton headed ninjas full of energy and youth. Slowly but surely these comedians show why they stand the test of time. Betty White makes up material using current trends like Facebook and vaginas. You have to admire someone that at 91 years of age can make a younger generation crave her work.

Lasting long and staying fresh is a testament to the healing power of laughter but it goes deeper than that. People like Betty White have a quality that draws others, it's the humor and the subtle nature of its delivery. I think it's only proper to say thank you to Betty White as well as her predecessors because without them the world would be a rather dreary place and we would not have certain beacons that remind us of the fact that aging is only a physical necessity.  

THE BLACK DAHLIA

There are certain stories that never leave your subconscious once you hear about them. One particular story that has always fascinated me is the story behind Elizabeth Short's death. Just about everyone knows Elizabeth Short as The Black Dahlia. What brought Short to prominence was her grizzly and unfortunate death in 1947.

I remember first learning about the murder while watching the show Hollywood Babylon, hosted by the late Tony Curtis. I remember seeing pictures of the body and watching the show's re-enactments of how and why the murder may have happened. The case went cold and for years has been the subject of legend. One of the most impressive aspects of the case was the state her body was found in. The Black Dahlia was found naked and severed in two. Short's body was drained of all blood and completely mutilated.

Recently the murder made headlines again as the son of Dr. George Hill Hodel stated that he was sure his father committed the murder at the "Sowden House." On an episode of Ghost Hunters a cadaver dog found the smell of death on a vent outside the basement. I don't think that the smell of death in a basement really clearly establishes the identity of a killer nor does it solve the crime.

I don't think this is a case that will ever go beyond a dark and grizzly legend that fascinates people because it happened in the days when there was far more "control" and "value" in society.

DIGITAL HIGHLANDER

I read an article about the management of Facebook pages belonging to those that have passed on. The article basically says that some states are looking into creating a bill that takes a deceased person's social media page and hands it over to the executor of the person's estate.

This is great idea but at the same time kind of morbid. I am surprised that Facebook is being referred to as a digital asset. I guess this is a sign of the times, we live in an age where what we have online is almost as important as our day to day lives. I can imagine what a last will and testament with Facebook stipulations would read like:

I Ric Acevedo of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath control of my digital assets to my son provided that the following stipulations are met within ten days of my passing.

1. Tell friend #12 that I do like that.
2. Reveal something shocking for every 100 likes.
3. Make a fan page for my funeral.
4. Send out 6,000 invitations to Farmville, Lucky Slots, and Diamond Dash.
5. Have a kinky Arena memorial. 
6. Like at least twenty random pages. 
7. Inbox that sexy prostitute and book her as a gag.

I guess it's necessary to keep things in order in this digital age especially when you consider there are well over a billion active users in the world of social media. There was mention of this kind of legislature helping bring closure to families. I think that it's noble to assume families can get closure but truthfully if a media page stays open I think it further drives home that feeling of loss and pain. 

I like to think that we have reached the era of digital immortality if this legislature is passed on a federal level. Someone call Christopher Lambert and Adrian Paul because I have a script for " Highlander: The Social Media Quickening."  

SOME PEOPLE NEED TO PAY HARD

I rarely ever get so moved by something that I decide to put common sense aside and write from a different place. Fayhan al- Ghamdi needs to be hung and tortured for his actions. Fuck the idea of two wrongs not making a right, someone should make him feel what his five-year old daughter felt as he raped her and tortured her. What bothers me about this whole situation is that he is getting off with a damn fine and a few months of jail time. This ugly bastard admitted to using wires and cables to torture the girl.

I want to know how in the hell made his actions acceptable. This man paid $50,000 in "blood money" for his crime. What this man paid is half of what he would have to pay if his child would have been a boy. This sick bastard doubted his daughter's virginity and had her checked. The little girl was five, I want to know this fucker's reason for checking to see if she was a virgin.

This man is a sick piece of garbage and he deserves the worst kind of punishment. These were the actions of a religious "leader" that enjoyed a great deal of attention as a "celebrity" figure. I just don't understand why this guy was allowed to just walk so easily without so much as a slap to the wrist.

I hope that this will change because taking a life isn't something that should be negotiated with a few dollars and a warning.