THE SOCIAL MEDIA PREDICTABLE

I love social media simply because you have so many things that you can use to entertain yourself. I am thoroughly entertained by the predictable players. A predictable player is some lame ass dude that will respond to a girl. What I like about that is the fact that all those motherfuckers are the same. Some beautiful girl accepts them or adds them and they respond with the following:

• Yo girl, sit that shit on my face.
• It's an honor to be amongst the list if the fortunate to call themselves your friend.
• Sexy 
• So hot baby, I invite you to me.
• I love you, have an incredible day. 
• This is for you princess of the universe.

This is better than candy crush, human nature is something else.

YOU LEARN

Sometimes you have to step back and look at someone else's work, in order to learn something. I stepped back recently and read the work of a fellow blogger in depth. I'll cal him the rat because that's what he calls himself. Some of his entries are longer than other and they cover a wide variety of things, from news, to blues, to life. I enjoyed the reads simply because they taught me that in blogging life, you don't have to write a million things to be clear. I like the fact that I don't necessarily agree with everything Rat writes, because it makes me think about different perspectives. I have seen people get out of the mohave simply because they don't agree, I guess ignorance works that way. I want to say to the rat, thanks, I learned a neat trick.

THE SHUFFLE

The word social media has a million implications with the chief one being a platform for communication with perfect strangers. As with everything, social media has become a buzz monster like radio became in the 1920's. I see social media today as something of a beast that gets fed by people's ego. I remember reading this one kid's resume where he cited his clout score of 51 and climbing as a sort of marketable skill. Social media is a shuffle and everyone wants in, some to get laid, some go get played, some just to get sprayed.

THE INTERNET AS A PERSON

Have you ever wondered what the internet would be like as a person? I think given the vast array of knowledge and connectivity in the web it would be something like Archie Bunker in that it would e full of knowledge that's not always useful, more than a little racism, a lot of narrow mindedness and more than likely a massive asexual nature that would almost completely forbid it from reproduction. I am fascinated by the internet for so many reasons.

None of use can give the internet a physical appearance whatsoever. The internet could be a sexy woman, a fat man, a Nigerian scheme artist looking to spread your family's wealth to you since a horrific plane crash or a dog. We don't know what it looks like but we can give it some shape. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have the internet over for dinner?

I imagine the internet would provide great conversation and an occasional anecdote concerning some unimaginable sexual act involving a bottle, a french tickler, a blender and two different types of orange juice. Then there is the internet's growth into relationships and possible proliferation of the family persuasion. I know I mentioned the internet as asexual but I can imagine an internet child. I think the internet would likely marry Forgy Network, a petite girl in the communications industry.

I imagine the internet would name his first child My Space whilst the second far more gifted and charismatic one would be known as Facebook and a third with the ability to assimilate would be known as Twitter. The internet would disown My Space for being completely lame while watching Facebook marry off to Jennifer Instagram Epstein while Twitter would struggle in a long term live in relationship with Pinterest Long that just won't go anywhere due to Pinterest's one dimensional views and narrow minded nature.

The Internet would never retire and work the same way Fidel Castro has, blocks of eternity. Chances are that the net would run for political office and end up taking the world in some sort of misinformation coup that would employ vast amounts of ignorance from followers. I think that the film TRON pretty much gave it all away as far as the internet goes.

Lucky for us the internet is not a person with said capabilities of taking over the world, or is it?

BITCH IS CRAZY!

Stalking during the social media age has become something of a victimless crime because stalkers are usually thousands of miles away from their victims and they can't go beyond obsessing with pictures. Once in a while there is that one crazy person that goes way beyond the obsessing over pictures. Let's not mention the rapes, murders, and other such tragic events and stick to the online stalking.

Say you hear that little ring and some girl says "hi." You feel lonely so you decide to answer and let's face it it is flattering to have some girl say hello. This is the first chat:

Girl: Hi
Guy: Hello
Girl: How are you?
Guy: Good
Girl: Where do we know each other from?
Guy: Our shared social media network.
Girl: You are very handsome ;)
Guy: Thank you ;)
Girl: LOL
Guy: LOL, jajajaja you are really sexy
Girl: Likewise
Guy: What are you up to?
Girl: Not much, just finished taking a bath
Guy: Hmmm
Girl: What's that for? LOL ;)
Guy: Sounds relaxing
Girl: TTYL
Guy: Alright sexy!

So the conversations go on and an initially innocent flirtation goes on until someone says something like marriage, love, or something that implies some serious long term commitment. Suddenly the girl is picking out a china pattern and you are trying to get away so you block her. There is a period of peace and ultimately she creates a new profile and several fake profiles to make your life a living hell. The bottom line is that the bitch is crazy. I have to make it clear that in most cases it's men that stalk women but when the occasional woman does it it will be a twice as nice nightmare.

The fact is that nothing will ever replace getting to know a person. It doesn't matter if a woman stalks a woman, man stalks a woman, woman stalks a man, it's all insane. Social media stalking is the sport of the socially underdeveloped person whose obsession with attention due to a bad childhood finally has some sort playground. Social Media is a great way to make the world smaller but at the same time it's also a fantasyland for people with a fragile grip on reality.

I am a firm believer in being open to the whole idea of using social media for gains in terms of friendships, contacts and so forth but I advise everyone be cautious. I am not going to sit and write about big brother conspiracies or tell everyone that social media is the devil but I will categorically state that you need to be careful because BITCH IS CRAZY!

FUCK THE DUCK LIPS

I have heard the term Duck Lips many times and I decided to research it. The Urban Dictionary provided me with some definitions such as "The face used by teens in many Facebook pictures." I decided to look into the matter a little further by researching duck lips through the google image file. The duck lips are an epidemic of the ignorant tweener that feels it's a seductive look.

What exactly created that look? Well if you look around and see pictures of old time movie stars you realize that they began this particular epidemic. The duck lips went unnoticed for years while gaining speed from the 1950's through the 1980's then slowly they became the staple of every model wannabe. 

As of today the duck lips are something that everyone does to draw attention and who is to blame?

Social Media is the culprit that is to blame for the proliferation of the duck lip. Every ugly SOB does that and a good question is why? Ducks are not at all sexy and duck lips are not at all seductive. I think the Duck Lip is vital yet silent part of the social media revolution. I say let's do something about this now people. 

Let us start an anti duck lip movement that revolves around the shutting down of every Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, TOUT, and so forth of the duck lip fools. Let's do it people let's revolutionize the world by leaving the duck lips on the ducks.