HOWARD........WHERE TO NEXT? ( SLIGHT SPOILER )

If you have seen Guardians of the Galaxy all the way you know that obscure icon Howard the Duck has made what seems like one off  appearance. What I enjoyed about that appearance was being reminded of that horrible attempt at a film that made me want investigate Howard's origins. Howard was a Marvel creation that was somewhat bastardized by the 1986 film. The cool thing about Howard is the fact that, according to his backstory, he is quite the badass. For the last 28 years I have wondered when Howard would come back, now he's back sort of. I wonder where Marvel will take him, if anywhere.   I hope that Disney doesn't decide to shit all over this foul like George Lucas did back in 86.'' We can only hope!

X MEN, STILL GREAT AFTER 14 YEARS

I have to say that the X Men franchise simply continues to improve, enter X Men Days of Future Past. I'm not a fanboy and I really don't care to get into comic book history because, honestly, I'm sure I'll lose in terms of little obscure details. From what I saw this particular film stayed fairly true to source material, something that most films rarely ever do. I love the fact that the film itself tells a story that's well connected to previous films in the franchise.

This particular movie picks up where the last Wolverine installment left of and gives first class a lot more prominence. Sure the whole story is turned upside down and essentially the timeline established by the first X Men film is shaken to its core but it's okay because in the Marvel Universe X Men is the on title that takes heroes to a place unlike any other title.

X Men goes beyond the logical into the impossible, people with special abilities fighting for their existence and the salvation of mankind. There is still a powerful future for this franchise provided that they keep hitting the parts of the stories that really meant something as far as the books are concerned. Let's see what happens, hopefully Disney won't fingerbang this like they have so many other things.

MARRIAGE IS GREAT, WHEN TAKEN IN MODERATION

I think marriage is a wonderful institution, kind of like Disney World. When you enter marriage it's a lot like going to Magic Kingdom in the sense that there's wonder, joy, a little apprehension, some spending, and in the end you leave asking yourself why. Marriage quantity is also like Magic Kingdom in the sense that the more you go the more you spend and the less satisfied you are.

We jump into marriage sometimes too soon and sometimes not soon enough. Often times we go in because we fear living alone for a period of time or for the rest of our lives. Marriage can be the solution to a problem and a problem that never really needed solution to begin with. Sometimes we treat marriage like a ferris wheel with different colored pods.

I think it's vital we understand that those pods each have a different personality and they are likely to swing in ways we may not understand or appreciate. Marriage is wonderful in the same way that scolding hot coffee is wonderful, it keeps you up, worries you, and gives you a feeling of invincibility coupled with massive headaches.

I say marry with good intentions, live with better intentions and worry without consideration. If your marriage dissolves remember always that life is one and you must live on to fight another day.

PARENTING CAN BE HELL

As a parent I want the best for my son but sometimes it's impossible to not want to strangle the kid. Kids at a certain period can become unruly, rebellious and impossible to deal with. I think what bothers me the most is when that rebellion manifests itself quietly. When a teen is not really open about the daily goings on, it means that they are screwing up somewhere.

As a parent I want to understand but as someone not so far removed from my teens I can remember how hard it was to be that age. I still seem to have the hardest time relating to the whole teen angst thing. I guess it's a combination of me getting older and life rapidly evolving. I am better able to understand what life was like for my parents and yet I just don't want relent in my ways.

Parenting is fun but it can also be hell as time goes by. I guess my only choice is to really wait this out and look back it fondly in a few years time.

OH NO! HANNAH MONTANA TURNED TO BESTIALITY WITH THE DANCING BEAR JAMBOREE

So Miley Cyrus decided to "shed" the Hannah Monatana image by having pretend intercourse with the dancing bear jamboree. I feel kind of bad for Miley because at the VMA's she managed to just look like a crack whore trying desperately to get laid by anyone not frightened of herpes. Miley Cyrus made her career playing a child star with a magic wit and a halfwit hillbilly dad. Miley Cyrus is not as talented as a prime Madonna, she's not really much of anything other than shock value.

Miley needs to pretend to the asshole of a bear in order to get attention. The truth is Miley's voice is annoying, her moves are kind of shitty, and like almost every other performer today she has no knowledge of music. The VMA's are not now, and they have never been, anything other than real shock. People watch the VMA's to see celebrities perform without filter, which is exactly what Miley Cyrus did.

The reason why Miley needed to perform like this is because she needs visuals in order to hide how bad she is. Miley seems to be so uninteresting that even Drake decided to indulge tweets from Amanda Bynes rather than listen to her shit. I'm pretty sure Will Smith and his kids were thinking " Mama no!" when they say Miley's ass less twerking sequences.

MTV used to stand for music television because they played videos. Now MTV should stand for something else because truthfully it just runs shit shows that reward people whose talents are questionable, for the most part. I still think Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Pink, and others are talented but they don't get as much attention as an anorexic whore.

GIVING DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A PUBLIC THING

It's really good to see that Steve Jobs' widow is only stepping into the spotlight in order to push philanthropy goals. Mrs. Jobs has been a supporter of education for the underprivileged for several years and is an advocate for gun control.What I find really great about the story is that this is a private person not trying to draw attention to herself.

I find it abhorrent when people engage in acts of philanthropy in order to draw attention to themselves so this is a nice change of pace. Money does influence and in most cases drive major decisions. To see a person take their fortune and position in order to try and improve the quality of life for those less fortunate is quite refreshing.

Perhaps Steve Jobs' widow will help usher in a new era where giving is once again hailed as an acceptable practice. Good job!

OKAY SO YOU'RE RETIRING, GOOD FOR YOU

I like Barbara Walters because I think she is a great example of a pioneer. Barbara Walters has been a major part of the broadcast landscape for the last five decades and over those five decades she has also become a symbol of American excellence. Throughout her career she has interviewed world leaders, movie stars, rock stars and everyone in between. There is no doubting the contributions of Barbara Walters to the world of broadcasting. When you think about it 20/20 was the Ferrari of magazine shows.

I still think it's a tad bit self serving to start the countdown clock and create a self portrait of sorts. Everyone knows Barbara Walters is a legend that has accomplished what few if any individuals have. Barbara Walters has managed to stay current and on top of the game even though she is 83 years of age. I still think that making the announcement over a year ahead of time is like saying " everyone prepare yourselves please." I would have rather seen the announcement delivered in the form of a press release or perhaps something more significant than that ridiculous daytime show.

I will miss Barbara Walters because for well over twenty five years I have seen her interviews. Barbara Walters made ABC destination television even when ABC was so far behind in the ratings that a safe distance was considered one million light years behind FOX. There will never be another Barbara Walters but then again there will never be another Bozo either, okay bad comparison.

THE A LA CARTE CABLE BILL

So I read online about John McCain's proposed a la carte cable service bill. I think that this proposed bill is a fantastic way to protect the consumer and also a great way to show media conglomerates that bullshit will not be tolerated. The cable industry is up in arms because they feel that they are being absolutely fair in charging close to two hundred dollars a month for their services. Cable providers are working under the impression that more is better but that's actually a lot of crap.

This bill is a clear example of someone with a position really trying to do something for the people. Republican or Democrat you have to commend the effort to step outside the scope of special interests and over the top capitalism. I think that McCains' bill will allow for a new weapon in terms of channels deciding they will charge a specific rate that will still make monthly cable bills astronomical.

I remember when I was a child growing up in the 80's, the regular subscription usually had  something close to thirty five channels and that was more than enough. Let's apply common sense for a minute here, do we really need over three or four hundred channels? Their are channels devoted to just playing music, they don't really even have programming. When I was a kid there was a device know as a radio that we used in order to listen to music.

I like McCain's approach to this bill, he is saying that not everyone wants a million channels that they do not watch. McCain is putting giants like Disney in their place by saying that if someone does not want ESPN, or The Disney Channel, they should not have to pay in order to be able watch ABC family. I think this bill is going to face stiff opposition only because there are a lot of people that are likely married or in debt to money from media conglomerates. I still hope that this is passed and that consumers are able to chose what they want. It's time we got a better deal than the one we have been getting.

Give them hell Senator, give them serious hell.

WHEN YOU REMEMBER

Annette Funicello passed on at the age of 70 after a lengthy battle with MS. It's fair to say that Annette Funicello was an American icon that stood for an era that was transitional from black and white perfection to societal uproar. I want to write about this because by the time I discovered America's mousketeer she was already fighting MS at the  age of 49. I remember watching Back to the Beach and becoming interested in that 60's era of beach films that signaled the end of real innocence in America.

I did not know the entire "magical" story of Disney's original TV stars partly because there were so many of them. Annette seemed to be that one big name that transcended the mouse ears and moved on to more grown up but very clean entertainment. I thought the movies were bland but then again I grew up during a period when films such as Robocop, Predator, and Terminator were the order of the day.

I caught the story of a person that was fighting for her life and putting a face to an powerful disease. Annette was that star that gained a new following by virtue of her courage in a losing battle as opposed to her actual body of work. What I saw in her was a sweet woman that was dealt a harsh blow and yet moved forward gracefully and quietly. Annette walked away from from public life before succumbing to the long term effects of MS.

Annette's last appearance was less than a year ago on a news report about her battle with MS. Annette was unable to move or speak only able to make a few facial moves. Annette's body was hardly mobile and she was no longer the beauty that dazzled the eyes. Annette Funicello was no more but one thing really hit home, her courage.

Annette courageously fought a losing battle in the public eye for well over five years. Annette's battle with MS spanned for over two and a half decades. Maybe Annette was not a star whose work will stand out as masterful and whose image as a clean cut star may well be her legacy but it was that lengthy battle that will keep her alive as an example of dignity and courage.

I'll never know about the 1950's mega child star, teen movie queen, pop star, and icon. I will always remember the Disney lady that put up one hell of a fight for almost three decades.

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY........YOU KNOW

The entertainment world is on fire with the recent news of Harrison Ford's unofficial but done deal return to the role of Han Solo. I am pretty amped to hear that because I am a big Star Wars fan but I wonder how that will play out. The latest installment is due out in 2015 which means Ford will be 71 or 72. I wonder how exactly they plan to pull this story off.

The fact is that Star Wars is a universe full of a million different stories surrounding different characters in the saga. I wonder what exactly they plan on covering and if there is a place for Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. There is a magic element to the original cast getting together again but the true box office appeal is really on Harrison Ford who is himself more of an elder statesman. Role reprisal has proven a reliable source of income for aging stars but it doesn't necessarily mean that it will help the film in the long run.

If they don't bring back the original cast it's fair to say that a story will have to be crafted that will cover the demise of the other characters. I think that doing something like that will really piss off the loyal fan base simply because a lot of people like the continuity of the characters and story after Episode VI. People went to see the latest installment of Rocky because they love the nostalgic value of the series. I am guessing that this latest film will be a huge hit regardless of how the story is presented.

One fair question will be if they decide to go the TRON route with this particular film. In the sequel to TRON Jeff Bridges met with an end designed to give the story legs for either another film or a different medium. The Star Wars saga covers print, animation, video games, and just about everything that a person can get their hands on so the legs are not necessary. The question is will they take Harrison Ford and make him a character that comes in as a sort of mentor? I also wonder how they will approach the Jedi aspect? This is another big question seeing as how in the book continuations the Jedi Order was re-established by Luke Skywalker and let's face it everyone loves the sounds and colors of the lightsaber.

Star Wars is the entertainment world's most lucrative cash register so chances are that staying loyal to the original source material and the original storyline won't really be a priority seeing as how this is now a Disney owned franchise. May the Force be with you JJ Abrams.

RACIST RABBITS!

I saw a news story about a California family that is suing Disney because the person playing the Rabbit character was behaving in a manner that could be considered racist. The person did not want to hug their kids, who are African American, and was hugging white kids. When I first saw the headline I wondered if this was for real simply because Disney is supposed to be the place where everyone is equal. I know that Disney can't really tell if a person is racist or not but their attitude has been that of a company backing the racist rabbit.

I think Disney with its abysmal track record for subliminal and sexually suggestive animation as well as racial undertones in film really needs to work its way out of this one. According to the news story Disney has attempted to get the African American family to sign a waiver in exchange for tickets. Disney always seems to want to cure everything with tickets and Mickey Mouse watches.

At the end of the day Disney should more carefully screen its people because although you can't always tell who's racist and who isn't you can get some sort of idea. If the person in the costume did not want to hug the kids because they were black and in front of them hugged white kids then that person is racist. I can understand the family wanting to sue on principle because this type of bullshit cannot be covered up.

I wish the family the best of luck making rabbit stew.

OH NO SELENA GOMEZ HAS STREP THROAT! PLEASE LET US SAVE HER AS THAT WILL SOLVE CURRENT WORLD CRISES.........

Everyone I need you to please do some kind of spiritual ritual to save our favorite Wizard of Waverly Place from the clutches of the deadly disease known as strep throat. Yes you heard right everyone the head Beiber Fever carrier is now deathly ill with her throat itching as millions of bacteria are killing her precious vocal chords. We need to save her as the fate of the whole world depends on it.

Sorry after further research it turns out strep throat does not really kill people and she is not really the important to the fate of the free world. I still say we form a hand holding movement to show this brave lite doodle how important she really is to all of us. Anyone with me? Bueller? Bueller?  I guess I don't have the backing.

Really these are the news that are trending today and everyone wonders why there is such a generational disconnect. When I was in middle school we were taught to discuss relevant current events and learn to back up our opinions with well researched facts. If a kid shows up with this current event today he is superstar correspondent today.

This is what's wrong people!