ANN COULTER IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA

Ann Coulter is nothing more than a loud, moronic, bitch that needs to be silenced. The ultra conservative super bitch is constantly using words like "demographics" to basically claim that gun violence in the US, along with other pressing issues, is due more to race than anything else. I think those are the words of a truly ignorant individual. It's been established that guns don't kill people, people with guns kill other people. I think it's also fair to say that having emotional problems is not limited to Blacks, Hispanics, or Asians for that matter. In other words, any person no matter race, creed, or color, can pick up a gun and commit a crime just like Adam Lanza.

What bothers me about this woman is that she wants to turn everything into a Conservative vs. Liberal deal and really it isn't. If we were to look at what "Liberals" have done we should examine who created the New Deal, which did help the US get out of a crippling and quite lengthy depression. If you don't know what I am referring to then by all means feel free to Google it. I am deeply troubled by the fact  that while we have an African American President in office we still have ridiculous figures like Ann Coulter pushing that racial button through major media platforms.

This is not 1950 and society has evolved and a line needs to be drawn somewhere. I would rather censorship be applied to racially charged bullshit than words like bitch, or asshole. This is the woman that referred to our President as a retard and said that retard was not an offensive word. I think this woman is a complete imbecile that should spend sometime in an institution for the chronically stupid. If you can't tell by now I have no respect for her because she is part of the problem we have in the US.

Yes we do have free speech but I don't recall reading anything in the constitution about hate speech and constantly trying to create tension by stating absurd and impossible to believe or prove "facts."  I will go so far as to say that living conditions can play a part in a person's choices but that is not necessarily always the case. If you are thinking that free speech applies to hate speech let me say one thing, free speech is designed for a flow of ideas and productive conversation in order to arrive at a positive conclusion in spite of ideological disagreement.

I am almost completely certain that our founding fathers did not agree on everything but they were united by the consensus of a country free from the concept and in turn control of British colonization and ideology. To make this less complicated, don't cross lines just because all you are capable of seeing is colors and not substance.

HOLLYWOOD IS SO DESPERATE IT NEEDS THREE OLD PEOPLE TO SAVE IT

I think that the fact that Hollywood has a place for three fossils like Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis  reflects the poor state of the film industry today. The three actors have each made the same movie at least twenty times over. Don't get me wrong I was a fan of Rocky, The Terminator, and Die Hard when I was between the ages of eight and twelve and at that time it seemed like these guys could do no wrong. The truth is that no one is perfect and that at the end of the day Stop or my Mom Will Shoot, Last Action Hero, Color of Night, and Planet Hollywood restaurants all had to happen to prove that vulnerability is something that's less than foreign to everyone.

Sylvester Stallone came back looking like a piece of bread with one too many shots of human growth hormone while Schwarzenegger came back fat and depressed over the fact that he was a failure as Governor and he was found out as a man who would cheat on his wife with anything that had tits on it. Bruce Willis is the only person that has come back looking relatively respectable especially when you consider he has stayed fairly active.

I still think that the state of film at least here in the US is depressed at best. Every movie looks the same and requires a ridiculous budget that rarely gets covered at the box office. There are no longer actors that can really carry a movie like in previous decades when singular performances and story lines were so strong that you knew you wanted to watch a certain film because you were drawn in by something special in the previews.

I won't say that there are no good performances but it's characters, effects, and pre existing story curiosity that draws people in. The three old guys could come back simply because their styles took a long enough rest to come back and seem fresh to the newer and more grown audience. Like everything in life entertainment is cyclical so these guys are likely to go back on ice when the next inexplicable epic comes out but until then let's enjoy witnessing the Metamucil Mercenaries light up the screen.

DRIVE BY SHOOTING GONE FANCY

In recent headlines it's been revealed that Rick Ross was the victim of a drive by shooting attempt in the Miami/ Ft. Lauderdale area. The plus size rapper lost control of his car and drove into a building. Apparently the rapper and his girlfriend were the target of some thugs and while there were no injuries but the Rolls was totaled. To be honest I really don't give much of a rat's ass about this but I will hit on some things that make me want to laugh a bit.

I will start out by saying that the next CSI show should be CSI: Thug Life. 50 Cent decided to say this was staged because he saw no holes in the car. I think that although 50 is an expert on bullet holes his ability to eliminate the obvious and formulate a theory is something short of spectacular. If you have yet to notice I am being beyond sarcastic now. I also want to touch on something else that is interesting to me.

I don't hear that much about Rick Ross at all. I hear more about 50 and other rappers even if they don't have records so that makes me wonder: What in the hell makes this so relevant? A lot of people are questioning if it's true that Ross was really targeted because after all Florida is not really on either known rap coast. I also think it's kind of funny how the whole thing was done with a Rolls, a fashion designer, and a portly jackass rapper.

The truth is that if this was staged it does nothing at all for Rick Ross because no one gives a shit about him and I am pretty sure that hasn't changed. Rick Ross is a major tool with tattoos. I am not a huge rap fan but guys like this idiot are what ruin it for others. More than likely the people that shot at "Rozay's" car won't be found and "Rozay" will get a decent insurance payout that he will in turn spend in a nice set of diamond earrings and a new set of rims for his gangsta toasta.

A suggestion to the press or the so called "press" please stop making this shit so public because it's events like this that give wannabes and maniacs ideas on how to get attention.

THE FUCKER IN THE BACK ROW

I love going to the movies but I really hate a lot of the people that also partake in said activity. I think it's safe to say that there are sections or groups that are certain to go to a movie theatre ready to really mess your day up just by virtue of their existence. Let me further elaborate on what I am trying to state here.

When you arrive at the box office the line is full of the visibly shitty crowd and it goes in a specific order. Toward the back you have a few punks that think they are tough thug like beings. Closer to the front you have the the four teen girls that look like prostitutes in training wearing clothes that reveal mosquito bite cleavage, lack of guidance, and no ass at all. As you scan it toward the front there is the family comprised of something like 5 kids all of them with ADD and a marriage composed of a two beings that despise one another.

While moving up it's easy to spot the senior citizens asking for a discount, popcorn refills, a low salt menu and a fucking map to the nearest bathroom. Once you get the tickets you get in line to pay at least 100 dollars for a small box of Nestle Snow Caps and some Gummy Bears that will be gone before the movie even starts. On the way to the theatre you go to the bathroom and have to wait for the kid having diarrhea and crying because his poops look like coca cola.

When you get to the theatre you sit and see the people coming in and settle down. Slowly but surely you realize you are in for a pre show as the teen bitches text, the family argues and the thugs terrorize the senior citizens. With this fabulous mix you at the kid that already has a sever case of the shits and you realize this may not be what you'd hoped for in terms of entertainment. When the movie starts the asshole in the back row starts kicking your seat, farting, and laughing loudly.

I think that is the worst part of the whole experience, the back fucking row. The ass, or wildcard is there ready to fuck up your life. For the next 90 to 120 minutes you dream of ways to kill this person's soul and desire for living only to later realize that your life was significantly shortened by one person's massive case of asshole. Yes I hate the fucker in the back row but for the sake of my sanity I have learned to tolerate him and I suggest others do the same for their enjoyment.

A KISS IN BRAZIL

The tragedy that took place in Brazil's Kiss nightclub is one that makes me question what the hell goes through people's minds sometimes. I read in the news that there were some 1300 patrons at the club during a concert. I was further shocked when I read that no safety codes were at all enforced in this particular venue. Given the lack of observation of said codes it's incredible to think that the band would be allowed to have a pyro machine that would deploy in a place where there were no emergency exits or even fire extinguishers.

As news keep coming out with regards to this tragedy it's also coming to light that safety codes are rarely ever observed in these venues in Brazil. A lot of nightclubs fail to put a limit on the number of people that are allowed in. I think it's totally screwed up that people have to die just to get in to a club. My view on clubs is simple and that is if you have seen one you have seen them all. Loud music, drinks, and the occasional grind don't really mean that much that a person should lose their lives.

I won't bash Brazil because things like that have happened here in the states as well but the fact is that 231 people died in a tragedy that could have been averted. In the end this was greed, ignorance, and an enormous lack of common sense all coming together for a tragic meeting. 30 days of mourning in Brazil will not bring anyone back but real action in enforcing health and safety codes will likely keep something like this from happening again, at least on such a major and tragic scale.

THE JUICE IS......IN DEBT WHILE IN PRISON

The big news about OJ Simpson is that he is deep in tax debt with over $500,000 in arrears to Uncle Sam. I fail to see how this is relevant given the several considerations to be taken into account. OJ Simpson is in prison because while he was not convicted of the murders of his ex wife and Ron Goldman he was found guilty of the following crimes in 2008:

• Count 1: Conspiracy to Commit a Crime

• Count 2: Conspiracy to Commit Kidnapping

• Count 3: Conspiracy to Commit Robbery

• Count 4: Burglary while in Possession of a Deadly Weapon

• Count 5: 1st Degree Kidnapping with Use of a Deadly Weapon 

• Count 6: 1st Degree Kidnapping with Use of a Deadly Weapon

• Count 7: Robbery with Use of a Deadly Weapon 

• Count 8: Robbery with Use of a Deadly Weapon 

• Count 9: Assault with a Deadly Weapon 

• Count 10: Assault with a Deadly Weapon

Simpson will not be paroled until 2017 and that's if and only if he is found eligible. I have a question and that question is: How will the IRS  get its money from OJ? Simpson lost his house as well as his $11million dollar fortune and has over $33 million dollars in debt stemming from the wrongful death suit he lost to the Goldman and Brown families.

I doubt the IRS will see a dollar from OJ and the truth of the matter is that after he served nearly two years in prison while on trial and after his nine years are up he will care little. What will a 70 year old man (in 2017) have to lose at that point? Simpson is a clear example of someone whose destructive nature overwhelmed his common sense. I remember hearing that after he was found innocent he would face his Waterloo. I guess this is it for OJ and I can't say I feel sorry for the guy.

I am sure that like every two faced piece of garbage that squandered every advantage he ever achieved through hard work he is likely to find God, Jesus, or maybe L. Ron Hubbard.

I'M IN A FUCKED UP STATE OF MIND

I heard something today that made me want to write this entry because while funny it's true. I was told that when I am in a fucked up state of mind I need to step back and think. I never quite thought about that before, and thoughtlessness is something I will address some other time. I asked myself: What is a fucked up state of mind?

I really can't answer that question but I can certainly speculate as to what a fucked up state of mind is. I think a fucked up state of mind is that endless moment where you don't want to face your own weakness and you don't want to admit that you are wrong. I guess it's fair to say that a fucked up state of mind is that period where your head feels like exploding because you don't want to let someone else win with reason.

I have been in a seriously fucked up state of mind more times than I should freely admit but the truth is that I am human and I need to own up to that. I think it's also a fucked up state of mind to think that you can't improve your own situation or pursue a dream or goal that calls out to you. In short a fucked up state of mind is something that provides absolutely nothing and I mean nothing good or positive to your life.

My advice is that when you find yourself in a fucked up state of mind you go ahead and switch to a New York state of mind.

CHICAGO

I think that when it comes to high and almost mythical drama there is no city in America like Chicago.  When you look in the history books it's easy to understand what makes Chicago an even more powerful magnet than New York city. I think we should start from the beginning so let us talk about the great Chicago Fire. The Chicago fire occurred in 1871 when a fire started in the barn behind the home of Patrick and Catherine O'Leary. The fire and how it started is a bit of a mystery but most people like to credit one of the cows in the O'Leary barn. The fire left at least 100,000 people homeless and 200 million dollars in property damage which is an unbelievable number even by today's standards.

It's also fair to bring up the power of organized crime in Chicago. The Valentine's Day massacre and the mythical figure known as Al Capone come to mind as synonymous with Chicago folklore. It's also interesting to note the 1919 World Series scandal surrounding the Chicago "Black" Sox. There is also the controversy of the 1960 presidential election and alleged voter fraud in favor of JFK. Today Chicago stands tall as a metropolis as it is a recognized international hub for stock trading, fine dining, and cosmopolitan living. Yet even today Chicago has something that gives it the almost mythical yet negative attention it does not need.

As of January 26th there were some 5 reported gun deaths within several hours of one another in Chicago. Last year Chicago's death by homicide count reached and surpassed the number 500. It's sad that this type of thing is happening but truthfully it's a reflection of the times that we are living in. Maybe at some point in the future there will be that period of calm where what's happening today will simply be a memory of more violent days gone by.

KARMA BITCH, KARMA

I rarely like to venture guesses at situations but the fact is that I hate Casey Anthony with a great deal of passion. I don't like to attack and malign or vilify people but the truth is that Casey Anthony is a bitch who either had something to do with her daughter's death or knew what happened at the very least. The fact of the matter is that Casey Anthony had no real remorse and was fortunate that the case against her was not built correctly. I think it's only fitting that she have to file for bankruptcy citing $792,00 in liabilities and only about $1,100 in assets. Casey Anthony only cared about her own freedom and never really showed any interest in the well being of her daughter.

I learned early on that life catches up with you when you least expect it. What happened with Casey Anthony was a miscarriage of justice and she deserves every thing she gets. A child died and no one bothered to talk about that and what it really meant. Casey became a celebrity and Baez became the next big attorney. I hate everything about Casey Anthony and I hate the fact that she has undeserved freedom. This is me speaking from the heart and perhaps surrendering objectivity but fuck it a child is dead and the bitch mother is free.

I hope Karma continues to hunt Casey Anthony because in the end she really needs to learn to hate her miserable existence.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT CATS?

I love all animals but I think cats are somewhat depressing. I associate cats with loneliness and a point in time when you need something to help you keep your sanity. The fact is that cats end up as the custodians of older, or hoarder type people and usually it's women. I have seen articles about ladies whose homes were populated by hundreds of cats.

I read a news story about a lady whose home saw 67 dead cats removed and 99 live cats taken out. So we are talking about a total of 166 cats in this lady's home. The home, located in Wright New York, was the source of a massive and overpowering odors of feces and urine. To me this is unacceptable and despicable but at the same time it makes me wonder about cats.

I wonder if cats have some sort of power that we don't notice. I think that cats have a thing stemming back from the old days in Egypt. Perhaps cats are actually an evolved alien race trying to hatch a scheme in order to take over the earth. I think back to the Laser Cats digital short in Saturday Night Live and maybe the writers of that short got it right. I think cats will come from the planet Catnipus and try to enslave us. Who can say no?

Cats can be truly adorable and perhaps they will be the nice types of overlords. The truth of the matter is that cats do seem to have a devious agenda and it's now coming to fruition but slowly.

MEOW, MEOW, MEOW!

OH NO, SOMEONE HELP COUSIN EDDIE

Every time I think of Randy Quaid I think of cousin Eddie and that one season of Saturday Night Live that had more actors in the cast than actual comedians. I recently read that Randy Quaid was denied refugee status and residency in Canada. I find that situation to be hilarious on so many levels. I want to start out with the reason why Randy Quaid wants to stay in Canada.

Apparently the beloved star of many very different films and his wife are targets f Hollywood "star whackers." I don't understand the term " star whacker" nor do I understand why they would single out Randy Quaid. The fact is that although this guy is a talented actor he is not exactly the first person that comes to mind when you think of a major player. I like his performances and let's face it he is a funny guy. I still don't get the whole reason behind his attempt at a Canadian way of life.

It looks to me like a lot of celebrities are trying to renounce their citizenships especially if the tax rates in their respective countries affect them negatively. Gerard Depardieu is the first example that comes to mind when mentioning celebrities bothered by high tax rates. I think that maybe the "star whackers" are the good people at the IRS or local tax collector's office. The way that Randy Quaid has presented this situation it just sounds like he will die if he comes to the US.

I can imagine some creepy dude sitting in his basement wearing a cousin Eddie costume plotting serious harm. Perhaps Mike Busey, local Florida press whore, is plotting to kidnap Randy Quaid in order to have him headline one of his "events" at the sausage castle. I also wonder if perhaps Randy is just looking to corner the Canadian Bacon/Ham hybrid market. I think that maybe Randy Quaid has become the target of a self imposed need for press.

I do hope that Randy and wife are safe from the " star whackers" because the truth is that cousin Eddie is a national treasure.

OH CANADA!

FINALLY, SOME QUIET

I am not writing this to push political buttons so if you are a die hard republican ardent democrat, or heat seeking jackass you should stop reading right now. I am glad that Sarah Palin is out of Fox news because her being there was the equivalent of a 4 year old being handed the controls to a weapon of mass destruction. Sarah Palin was and will forever remain a vivid examples of what politics has become, a popularity contest designed for looks and skilled liars.

We need to face a clear fact that society is cyclical in nature and that cycle includes progress, pockets of war and peace and gridlock. I think it doesn't help that cycle to have a woman whose inability to string two sentences together is so obvious that she serves more as the comic relief cougar MILF than as a credible figure that once provided leadership. It makes it nearly impossible for the existence of harmonious disagreement when you have a talking head like Palin giving incendiary opinions on a network know for radical conservative views. It's a step in the right direction to take Palin the hell out of the airwaves for the time being.

Personally I hope that Sarah Palin stays in the Tundra from whence she came and just continues to hunt for the bears that brutalized Ms. Goldi Locks.

HOW DOES THE FLU AFFECT CELEBRITIES?

The title of this entry is meant to be somewhat sarcastic in tone. When I read the news today I saw a headline stating that Burt Reynolds was in the ICU. Curious about the news I decided to read on. I discovered that he had the flu and was "severely dehydrated." Don't get me wrong I think Burt Reynolds is funny especially when he is attempting to act. I don't understand why it's necessary to say "Look Burt has the flu." The fact of the matter is that the flu is going around and no one is immune.

I am going somewhere with this particular diatribe so stay with me. It's one thing if a celebrity is doing something important in an attempt to better the world condition. Instead of reading about something good we have to be subjected to " Burt plus flu equals ICU." I have a suggestion for Burt's reps and Doctors in so far as this situation is concerned. I think they should play the remastered Blu Ray copies of Cannonball Run and Cannonball Run 2 and buy some prune juice in order to keep Burt hydrated and satisfied.

To those of you that did not know this, Marlon Brando thought that Burt Reynolds was an arrogant ass and did not particularly care for him. I know that the aforementioned is irrelevant but since we are on irrelevant terms anyway.

BIGFOOT AND I HAD A BEER WITH ELVIS

Recently there have been some sightings of Bigfoot in Oregon. Apparently a young Bigfoot was separated from his mother and has been making a lot of noise in the mountains near an Indian reservation. My guess is that Bigfoot was likely expelled from Sasquatch High for smoking reefer and gambling at the Wildhorse Resort and Casino.

I think it's a bit much when a folk legend gets this much press. I can understand the whole idea behind wanting to believe in Bigfoot because let's face it, bullshit is the best kind of shit. It has been an eternity of sorts and Bigfoot's existence has yet to be proven. My question is: Why is this nonsense being encouraged? I think I see where this is headed too.

In about 3 months there will be an episode of Jesse Ventura's show Conspiracy Theory where Jesse will not only set out to prove that Bigfoot is real but that Bigfoot was a botched attempt at creating a half human and half animal super soldier to eradicate enemies of America. I also see more to this story as I can picture Vince McMahon trying to promote a death match between Bigfoot and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Folk tales are one thing but making news out of normal wildlife sounds is the total opposite. I say to the scared Oregonians " grow up" and if you don't like the noises you hear get a nightlight.

TINA!

I have always been a fan of Tina Turner's music and her strength of character. When you look back at her story and realize how much she has endured and how she has survived you realize she is really someone special. Tina turner went through a marriage where mental and physical abuse were the order of the day. After several years of laboring to survive in entertainment Tina went on to make the kind of comeback that surprised the music world and put her in the same position as Prince, Bruce Springsteen, and even Michael Jackson.

Almost thirty years after establishing herself as a rock goddess Tina Turner has made headlines because she's renouncing her US citizenship in order to become a Swiss citizen. I won't criticize that decision because I wholeheartedly believe that people should do what they feel is in their best interest. I will say this about Tina Turner's decision, it shows she was never really a follower.

Tina Turner refused to commit to a sound or for that matter be pigeon holed into any singular category. I think her decision to become a Swiss citizen and renounce her US citizenship shows that she is the kind of strong individual that operates based on what she feels is the right move for her. I think more people should follow her example because truthfully there are way to many sheep in the flock.

IF YOU GET SANCTIMONIOUS I WILL STEP ON YOUR SOUL

I have always respected the right of individuals to chose their own spiritual paths. To me it doesn't matter if you are a devout christian, a muslim, an atheist, or an agnostic who does not fully comprehend the meaning of that particular word. The fact is we are members of a society where it is our right to chose what we believe in. I do draw the line when those beliefs cross a spot labeled "DANGER."

I am sure by this point you are wondering what that spot may be. I will take this time to explain that particular spot in some detail. I do not really respect the right of a person to assume that they can sit on a moral high ground on the basis of their own spiritual beliefs. The fact of the matter is that if I chose to eat artery clogging meats and you love to eat vegetables it does not mean you are apt to judge me.

People have to nasty habit of thinking that once they open up some sort of "holy" book and begin reading it like a trained parrot they are suddenly exempt of past stupidity and actions. It seems like people that discover their own fancy, especially those that "find" God, really love to talk and point holly fingers. I want to make a plea for the sake of those beings, do not make that mistake.

While we live in this wonderful society of spiritual freedom we also live in a society where it is my right to tell you what I think and in the process crush the core of your soul if necessary. My thing is this, I will listen to you while at the same time formulating an eloquent way to crush your argument and make you question yourself. A former prostitute or whore monger can quote the bible from cover to cover and I can quote life's reality.

I personally can question the creation and record keeping practices that made the bible the "book of record." I think that it's a valid question to ask " How was this record kept and compiled over a period of nearly 2000 years?" I am not revealing anything about my own beliefs but I am making the point that no one likes being given unrequested and unnecessary sermons . I think it's a sad thing that sermons, advice, and judgement all come from absolution of personal torment.

The fact is that we all have flaws in this world. To quote the great Lance Armstrong " I am a flawed character." I will conclude by stating that while I am flawed I am also honest enough and smart enough to see through thin veils and tear them up like a vicious cat attempting to wrangle a mouse.

SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT AND OTHER TIMES YOU ARE LANCE ARMSTRONG

I don't quite understand Lance Armstrong in fact I can safely say I don't get him at all. For several years he sat in a moral high ground while lying about doping. Now after years of lying to the world he comes clean, loses his glory, and cries like a bitch in order to draw more attention to himself. What annoys me about this guy is that he helped propagate a stupid wrist band movement with his "Livestrong" foundation which was in some ways based on a lie about being a star monorchid cyclist. During a recent interview he called himself a "flawed character," no shit Lance there is no perfect character so that was not a new revelation.

Lance's way of apologizing was by indirectly saying that had he not returned to the sport he wouldn't have been caught. Lance Armstrong doesn't seem to have any regrets about his behavior but the problem with that is that by acting like it's no biggie he is downplaying the true nature of his lies. In many ways Armstrong is slapping America, the sport of cycling, and every follower he ever had right in the face. Okay Armstrong is a cancer survivor but that doesn't make him any better than people that have battled cancer under worst conditions for longer and lived.

So what if Armstrong admits to being flawed? I think it's overly arrogant on his part to come out and basically cover everyone involved and not make any real apologies for that type of behavior. Considering the image of the "ugly" American in France it's beyond sad and screwed up that this guy stay so arrogant about what he did. Daniel Baal,who was the President of the French Cycling Federation, said the following about Armstrong:

"He says that it is about professionalism, that it is part of the job to dope. This is unbelievable, unacceptable," Baal told the AP. "He knowingly broke these rules. And to say (what he said) is to once again make a fool of the other cyclists."

So once again the "ugly" American is ridiculed not because of the actions of a multitude but because of the actions of one stinking cheater who could not tolerate being second best. To be honest I did not expect better from this guy because he was always an arrogant ass that wanted to make himself look like a golden idol when truthfully he was a lying shit. Everyone is skeptical and rightfully so because the guy is a liar and he proved the French right, and every doubter that he ever had was validated. 

I for one say retire into obscurity you fucking cheater no one really cares for a truth that came too late in the game to really make any difference. 

FUCK THE DUCK LIPS

I have heard the term Duck Lips many times and I decided to research it. The Urban Dictionary provided me with some definitions such as "The face used by teens in many Facebook pictures." I decided to look into the matter a little further by researching duck lips through the google image file. The duck lips are an epidemic of the ignorant tweener that feels it's a seductive look.

What exactly created that look? Well if you look around and see pictures of old time movie stars you realize that they began this particular epidemic. The duck lips went unnoticed for years while gaining speed from the 1950's through the 1980's then slowly they became the staple of every model wannabe. 

As of today the duck lips are something that everyone does to draw attention and who is to blame?

Social Media is the culprit that is to blame for the proliferation of the duck lip. Every ugly SOB does that and a good question is why? Ducks are not at all sexy and duck lips are not at all seductive. I think the Duck Lip is vital yet silent part of the social media revolution. I say let's do something about this now people. 

Let us start an anti duck lip movement that revolves around the shutting down of every Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, TOUT, and so forth of the duck lip fools. Let's do it people let's revolutionize the world by leaving the duck lips on the ducks. 

THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION, WHERE GUILT IS ALWAYS CERTAIN

So did the Wag really do it? The answer to that question is simple. It doesn't matter if Robert Wagner is as innocent as a member of the Vienna Boys Choir as he has been found guilty in the court of public opinion. If you are having problems following this article let me explain what I mean. Robert Wagner is still considered a suspect in the drowning death of his wife Natalie Wood according to the court of public opinion.

The fact is that even the police has stated that Robert Wagner is not a person of interest in the newly re opened investigation into Natalie Wood's accidental drowning. For years people have suspected Wagner because as the story goes there was alcohol, their were arguments, and in the end there were allegations that pointed a finger in Wagner's direction.

At this point it has been nearly 32 years since Natalie Wood died and it doesn't matter if Wagner had something to do with it or not. The fact is that with the time that has elapsed it is impossible to establish a credible case. There is no DNA to speak of and given the fact that there was alcohol involved any allegation can be called into question.

Robert Wagner is an 82 year old man who at the time of Natalie Wood's was in the prime of his career. The fact is that if he did have something to do with her death he covered it well enough to where now it doesn't matter. Sometimes justice is too blind and it's not the court system that takes care of it but rather the good and reliable court of public opinion.

DEAR ABBY THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

Pauline Phillips is someone you may not have known about but Dear Abby is someone we all knew and knew well. Phillips created the pseudonym when she came up with the advice column Dear Abby which has been a part of the American news paper landscape for over 56 years with a space in 1400 papers as well as a readership of 110 million strong. Dear Abby was all about simple answers to complex problems.

The column was like having a therapist for the price of a stamp. Often times the answers that people sought out were the answers that were best provided by a clear mind with enough common sense and practicality to step back and examine a situation carefully. Out of the black and white era known as the 1950's Dear Abby was the only component that evolved without losing class.

Dear Abby progressed from giving advice about the pot roast to advice about following your beliefs, sex, aids, family and so much more. While the column remains the original article now goes on to a place known as certain immortality. The person, Pauline Phillips, goes on to a pantheon of greatness that is dictated by what she did for others rather than for herself.

Pauline Phillips had Alzheimer's desease which eventually forced her retirement. Phillips was the likely donor of 10 million dollars to the Mayo clinic specifically for the purpose of Alzheimer's research. The fact is that Phillips stayed behind Dear Abby choosing to provide others with advice and attempting to make a difference in the lives she touched rather than trying to gain a measure of glory for herself.

Dear Abby:

Thank you for the memories, go peacefully on your new journey and worry not as what you did here shall stand the test of time.

THE MORE SOCIAL MEDIA GROWS THE MORE THE WORLD SHRINKS

As I look back over the last 12 years since I became a card carrying member of the previous century I must say I am surprised at how the world has shrunk. It seems that as technology and ways to connect with people grew it became a lot easier to know other parts of the world without real effort. The world became smaller and today it's as common to talk to someone in South Africa or Indonesia as it is the person next door. Social Media my dear friend you are one tricky whore for sure.

I don't subscribe to the ideas behind big brother simply because I refuse to live in fear. If someone wants to know about me they will know about me. When I look at my Facebook, Twitter, and Google I realize that Social Media is the kind of advent that was thought of in literary works such as 1984, Brave New World, and We. The familiarity with strangers that was thought of as something radical and impossible is normal today. A heightened and sometimes frightening level of communication that gives us unparalleled access into one another's lives is the norm.

The world is as small as it looks on television only now we don't really need to look at it in physical terms. Today we kill distance with the left click of the trusty mouse. I remember when computers were something of a luxury. Today a cell phone with net access, a laptop in a WiFi hotspot, and a social media account are all a necessity. Yes Social Media is growing and the world is shrinking, especially when you consider that a person's Social Media feeds can take them to places that they never expected.

The fact is that if you don't meet a person online you are not normal. If you don't make friends with someone that lives 8,000 miles away from you then you are considered socially awkward. A person's popularity and charisma is now defined as their "clout" and ability to land friends or followers. While this planet has an estimate of nearly 7 billion inhabitants it's not unreal to think that we are all connected in some six degrees of Kevin Bacon Social Media way.

We may not be living in the age of big brother but perhaps we are living in the age of second cousin. Yes it's true, this is in fact a very small world and it gets smaller every day.

FRIEND ME! FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! @ricacevedo

DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU TRAVEL

The recent seizure of 18 heads at O'Hare airport in Chicago is kind of funny to me. The heads did not belong to victims of crimes rather they were being shipped to Chicago for anatomical research purposes. The fact that this particular development seemed to spur some sort of controversy is rather funny to me in the sense that it's one of those things that would only take place in a film.

The funny thing is that apparently this type of thing happens often and are really rather routine. I can't imagine going into an airport and watching someone drop a bag full of skulls only to diffuse the situation by saying: " It's okay, it's only an experiment." I love the fact that a slightly large container of shaving cream is scrutinized as a possible terrorist attack in the happening and skulls travel freely racking up those frequent flyer world traveler miles.

I guess this particular happening gives new meaning to "Don't lose your head when traveling." This tale has a happy ending as the heads were sent back to rome for cremation. I do believe in happily ever after even if it is a burning skull in Rome.

WAS KEVORKIAN REALLY WRONG?

Assisted suicide is something that has been debated not just in the US but through certain parts of the world for years. I always equated euthanasia with animals being put to sleep. I did not become aware that humans could be euthanized until the Jack Kevorkian case gained notoriety in the early 90's. Years after Kevorkian became a household name the debate about assisted suicide became one of those hot button issues that no one in America really wanted to touch because it was too controversial.

Today I read about a set of twins in Belgium that agreed to euthanasia because they found out that they were going blind. To the twins going blind meant they would no longer see each other and given their bond that was unthinkable. The twins were born deaf and they lived together in a flat plus they worked as cobblers. To me it's shocking but the Doctors stated that the twins took the decision in full conscience.

This happening brings forth an interesting question which is the following: Was Kevorkian right? Is assisted suicide a good way to go if a person is in extreme pain? In 2011 in Belgium alone there were over 1,100 cases of assisted suicide due mostly to cancer. A good question to ask is: How do people define extreme pain? It seems like the twins were suffering from emotional distress rather than extreme physical pain. The over 1100 euthanasia deaths registered in 2011were terminal cases.

The fact is that while there are religious arguments to be had as well as moral and ethical discussions this seems to come down to the individual's perception of life. We can't say one way or another if euthanasia is really wrong or for that matter really right.

We can always ask: Was Kevorkian wrong?

THE NATALIE WOOD CASE

There is always one news story that seems to stay with the public. It does not matter if it's death or for that matter some fluff piece about a rogue granny with a heart of gold. One such case is the story of Natalie Wood's death by "accidental" drowning in 1981. Natalie Wood was one of America's all time beloved stars whose death sent shock waves not only through show business but really through the world. Today the case of her death has reached what I would consider almost mythical proportions.

As of today, three full decades later, her death remains shrouded in mystery given the events that took place prior to the discovery of her dead body. There was always a suspicion that she was allowed to die by her husband, actor Robert Wagner, after a heated argument involving beloved cowbell superstar Christopher Walken. Recently the case was re- opened as new allegations of fowl play as well as the nature of the argument surfaced giving this story a new life.

Now the cause of death has been ruled as "undetermined" given the condition of her body when it was found. Multiple individuals have attempted to point a finger at Robert Wagner as the reason behind her death. The truth is that the Natalie Wood case will never be solved no matter what evidence comes out. Christopher Walken will never talk and Wagner will always maintain his innocence in the matter.

After 31 years this case is one that will remain a mystery because no actual account can remain accurate  and there is no evidence of struggles, fights, or foul play. When the only thing you hear is that there was alcohol involved and no one seems to really have a clear account you can only say "what could have happened."

I don't think that re-opening the case will get this case closer to being solved and changing the cause of death does nothing but arouse the interest of a new generation of novices that are tired of gossip about the Kardashians and the talentless crop of celebrities getting attention for everything other than a respectable body of work.

THE ART OF THE NINJA SNEAKY BITCH

I have been fascinated by ninjas since I was young. To me there were always two types of ninjas, good ones and bad ones. I was thrilled every time I saw a ninja battle in television because it always had some sort of deep meaning behind it. In the 80's two things were hot and they were ninjas and cocaine. I am not sure about the later but hey cocaine was a staple of the Reagan era.

As I grew I began to understand more about ninja lore. A ninja was a mercenary that focused in unorthodox warfare. I guess it's fair to say that ninjas were not really driven by a moral compass so much as a sense of duty and accomplishing things at all costs. Now let's take part of that definition and apply it to a regular non-ninja type person also known as a sneaky person.

A sneaky individual is kind of like a ninja in the sense that you must expect the unexpected. Sure there is an ideal we formulate and yet the ideal is completely different from the actuality. So how does the average individual compare to a ninja ? This is an interesting conundrum that we can break down using common sense.

Let's say you invite someone into your home and they act like they are your best friend. You set the rules in order to avoid any misunderstanding. Let's lay out a top ten for the rules:

1. Don't eat my Doritos.
2. Flush the toilet twice after your poops.
3. Do not leave urine on the tile.
4. Do not create drama in my home. 
5. Do not have sex on the kitchen counter.
6. Do not mess with the cat.
7. Do not put pepper on my dog's genitals.
8. Don't you dare touch the pudding.
9. Do not friend my friends.
10. Do not talk about your foot fetish with the old lady in apt.# 13

So we have a top ten and somehow we want to believe our dear friend is an angel that will follow our rules because hey it's a friend. This assumption is where we fail to realize we are dealing with an artful ninja bitch. It matters not if this person is male or female. At the end of their stay your neighbor thinks you are a foot fetish type freak, your kitchen counter is pregnant, and the pudding has been fucked up beyond all recognition. The bottom line is that a ninja sneaky bitch can and will strike so you must be vigilant at all times. 

DO NOT FALL PREY!

I AM ALEX JONES AND I AM A BIG PIECE OF SHIT!

I can't stand Alex Jones because he is the reason why the whole of America looks like a bunch of fucking idiots. Alex Jones is an idiot that does not understand the need for anti depressants when people   suffer from mental illness. We do not need another idiot with a major platform taking the ignorant majority and telling them "We are being attacked."

No one said we need to take guns off the streets but there needs to be a line drawn somewhere in the sand. The truth of the matter is that the whole "I have a right to guns mentality" is what's making this debate on gun control nearly impossible. It doesn't help that a moron starts screaming that democracy is being raped when government actually decides to do it's job by debating the issue.

When innocent people die in a theatre or little kids pay the ultimate price in their school it's too damn much. I once met a person that bought her mentally unstable and violent son a T-22  rifle. I don't care how well backed we are by the 2nd amendment I would not buy an unstable kid a water gun let alone a T-22. It's a matter of keeping an open mind and looking at the statistics properly. This is not a republican or democrat issue so if you are going to get offended please stop reading and go get some fudge to drown your sorrows.

Yes it's true that guns don't kill people but stupid people with access to them do. If we do not educate the masses on gun control and how it's not an infringement upon our rights but rather an attempt at minimizing incidents like the one at Sandy Hook. Let's take shit like Alex Jones and his theories out of the equation and let's be civilized in finding a way to protect ourselves without killing each other.

HEALTH CARE IS INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED EVERYWHERE

I can't understand why there is such a complex situation regarding healthcare not just in the US but really in the world. There is currently a bill before congress attempting to repeal "Obamacare" otherwise known as The Affordable Care Act. Let's look at healthcare in a less complicated manner for a second.

Health Care is not a privilege that should only be afforded to those that can afford it and yet it seems that it's that precise issue the one that is plaguing it. People aspire for affordable care but truthfully it gets more and more out of reach daily. I don't think the problem lies with the costs associated so much as it does with the fact that insurance determines whether or not to pay a physician. I am familiar with this because my father was a physician and he constantly struggled with insurance companies and often they did not comply.

Insurance is the middle man that is supposed to facilitate care and it fails to do it in a regal manner. Now I ask: Is socialized medical care an answer? The answer is a big no. Let's look at the European Union for a quick second. if you look at the rankings of the World Health Organization most countries in the EU fund over 75% of their medical care publicly. Years ago that idea was brought before congress by Hillary Clinton during her husband's administration and it failed miserably.

The problem with socialized medicine is that the system is not executed in a manner that benefits the patient. I know that in the Netherlands which has a WHO ranking of 17 and a European ranking of 14 and  there are big deficiencies. Prescriptions are given and not properly monitored while specialist visits are rarely recommended by primary care physicians. While I respect a PCP I don't understand why one would decide that he or she could do the job of a Neurologist, Gynecologist, or for that matter Cardiologist.

We can avoid the issues plaguing care in the US if we regulate insurance and learn to police their practices as opposed to serving their interests. I also think that the EU system would work far more effectively if a number of specialist visits and proper monitoring of medication was put more effeciently into play. While socialized medicine works through a system of taxation it does not really mean it's effective in nature and practice.

If Obamacare is repealed, which I doubt, we go back to scrambling for a solution to a problem that's spent nearly a half century on the congressional floor. I think that in order to solve the problem people need to educate themselves and understand the definitions of words such as socialism, and terms such necessary taxation medical care.

Let's move on our own behalf because democracy says we can.

TRAVEL STORY FROM A LONG LONG FLIGHT

I love airplanes because they are like cans of sardines full of crazy goodness. To me a flight no matter how long or short is something of an experience. I love to just sit and watch people because I understand that in every individual lies a story waiting to be told. Sometimes that story is really the jerk you are seated next to or behind.

I guess you know where I am headed with this so here it goes. In the plane on the way back to the US I had the misfortune of being seated behind this idiot. The guy reclined his seat so far back that I could barely move. The guy was not only inconsiderate but a total ass as well. This is the type of person that brings his own Coca Cola and leaves the fucking cans under the seat. I was angry but this day and age kicking ass on a plane is not a good idea.

I decided to take the best approach to solving my problem. I saw a kid nearby and realized he was part of a tourist family headed to Disney. I offered the kid twenty bucks to scream "That man scares me" as the asshole slept. I worked out a signal with the kid and was shocked that his parents did not realize the transaction. I waited and waited to make my move. I noticed the asshole was in a deep sleep so I decided to strike with cobra like precision.

I gave the kid my signal and he screamed and started to fake cry and screamed the agreed upon phrase. The asshole was jolted because the kid screamed so loud and then the Flight Attendant requested he put his seat up a little bit. I laughed inside with great joy and jubilation. Ultimately the guy asked me if I was okay with the position of his seat to which I responded " Sure, no problems here." The look of discomfort and embarrassment in his face were well worth the twenty dollars I spent.

GOTTA LOVE OLD ASSHOLES

So I was at London's Gatwick Airport and after making it through the series of lines required to take me to the gate I was en route to the actual gate itself. When I stopped at the line for the gate I encountered a man that was at least 700 years old and reminded me of everything I hated about my childhood.

This old man was unhappy, unkempt, wrinkled all to hell and reeked of awful ribbon candy. As I moved on to show my passport the man saw it was not signed. I was carrying a new passport so it was an honest oversight. The man asked me if I had ever been witness to any terrorist activity. I was shocked by the question so I responded with an emphatic "NO." The old bastard continued to ask me bullshit questions and I continued to answer.

I was asked if I harbored illegals in place of residence as well as if I had ever been convicted of rape. I decided to tell him the Chunk story from The Goonies because he was really pissing me off. The old man stopped me angrily and told me to move on and be less suspicious next time. I told him to try wearing Old Spice to a party full of hookers. I am sure he did not hear me as I mumbled the insult in an attempt from being arrested.

The point of this rant is really just if you are old please do not be an asshole and if you are an old asshole do not work in an airport.