THE ART OF THE NINJA SNEAKY BITCH

I have been fascinated by ninjas since I was young. To me there were always two types of ninjas, good ones and bad ones. I was thrilled every time I saw a ninja battle in television because it always had some sort of deep meaning behind it. In the 80's two things were hot and they were ninjas and cocaine. I am not sure about the later but hey cocaine was a staple of the Reagan era.

As I grew I began to understand more about ninja lore. A ninja was a mercenary that focused in unorthodox warfare. I guess it's fair to say that ninjas were not really driven by a moral compass so much as a sense of duty and accomplishing things at all costs. Now let's take part of that definition and apply it to a regular non-ninja type person also known as a sneaky person.

A sneaky individual is kind of like a ninja in the sense that you must expect the unexpected. Sure there is an ideal we formulate and yet the ideal is completely different from the actuality. So how does the average individual compare to a ninja ? This is an interesting conundrum that we can break down using common sense.

Let's say you invite someone into your home and they act like they are your best friend. You set the rules in order to avoid any misunderstanding. Let's lay out a top ten for the rules:

1. Don't eat my Doritos.
2. Flush the toilet twice after your poops.
3. Do not leave urine on the tile.
4. Do not create drama in my home. 
5. Do not have sex on the kitchen counter.
6. Do not mess with the cat.
7. Do not put pepper on my dog's genitals.
8. Don't you dare touch the pudding.
9. Do not friend my friends.
10. Do not talk about your foot fetish with the old lady in apt.# 13

So we have a top ten and somehow we want to believe our dear friend is an angel that will follow our rules because hey it's a friend. This assumption is where we fail to realize we are dealing with an artful ninja bitch. It matters not if this person is male or female. At the end of their stay your neighbor thinks you are a foot fetish type freak, your kitchen counter is pregnant, and the pudding has been fucked up beyond all recognition. The bottom line is that a ninja sneaky bitch can and will strike so you must be vigilant at all times. 

DO NOT FALL PREY!