THE FUCKER IN THE BACK ROW

I love going to the movies but I really hate a lot of the people that also partake in said activity. I think it's safe to say that there are sections or groups that are certain to go to a movie theatre ready to really mess your day up just by virtue of their existence. Let me further elaborate on what I am trying to state here.

When you arrive at the box office the line is full of the visibly shitty crowd and it goes in a specific order. Toward the back you have a few punks that think they are tough thug like beings. Closer to the front you have the the four teen girls that look like prostitutes in training wearing clothes that reveal mosquito bite cleavage, lack of guidance, and no ass at all. As you scan it toward the front there is the family comprised of something like 5 kids all of them with ADD and a marriage composed of a two beings that despise one another.

While moving up it's easy to spot the senior citizens asking for a discount, popcorn refills, a low salt menu and a fucking map to the nearest bathroom. Once you get the tickets you get in line to pay at least 100 dollars for a small box of Nestle Snow Caps and some Gummy Bears that will be gone before the movie even starts. On the way to the theatre you go to the bathroom and have to wait for the kid having diarrhea and crying because his poops look like coca cola.

When you get to the theatre you sit and see the people coming in and settle down. Slowly but surely you realize you are in for a pre show as the teen bitches text, the family argues and the thugs terrorize the senior citizens. With this fabulous mix you at the kid that already has a sever case of the shits and you realize this may not be what you'd hoped for in terms of entertainment. When the movie starts the asshole in the back row starts kicking your seat, farting, and laughing loudly.

I think that is the worst part of the whole experience, the back fucking row. The ass, or wildcard is there ready to fuck up your life. For the next 90 to 120 minutes you dream of ways to kill this person's soul and desire for living only to later realize that your life was significantly shortened by one person's massive case of asshole. Yes I hate the fucker in the back row but for the sake of my sanity I have learned to tolerate him and I suggest others do the same for their enjoyment.