I love airplanes because they are like cans of sardines full of crazy goodness. To me a flight no matter how long or short is something of an experience. I love to just sit and watch people because I understand that in every individual lies a story waiting to be told. Sometimes that story is really the jerk you are seated next to or behind.
I guess you know where I am headed with this so here it goes. In the plane on the way back to the US I had the misfortune of being seated behind this idiot. The guy reclined his seat so far back that I could barely move. The guy was not only inconsiderate but a total ass as well. This is the type of person that brings his own Coca Cola and leaves the fucking cans under the seat. I was angry but this day and age kicking ass on a plane is not a good idea.
I decided to take the best approach to solving my problem. I saw a kid nearby and realized he was part of a tourist family headed to Disney. I offered the kid twenty bucks to scream "That man scares me" as the asshole slept. I worked out a signal with the kid and was shocked that his parents did not realize the transaction. I waited and waited to make my move. I noticed the asshole was in a deep sleep so I decided to strike with cobra like precision.
I gave the kid my signal and he screamed and started to fake cry and screamed the agreed upon phrase. The asshole was jolted because the kid screamed so loud and then the Flight Attendant requested he put his seat up a little bit. I laughed inside with great joy and jubilation. Ultimately the guy asked me if I was okay with the position of his seat to which I responded " Sure, no problems here." The look of discomfort and embarrassment in his face were well worth the twenty dollars I spent.
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