WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO MEDITATE

Meditation is likely one of the best, if not the best therapy in the world. I find myself over thinking sometimes and angry as well. I find that when I sit and meditate I get to that place that we all long to be. My process may not be comparable to that of a buddhist monk's but it works. I have a couple of ways one of which works as follows:

• I sit 
• I take five deep breaths 
• I close my eyes
• I clear my head 
• I slow my breathing down to the point where I'm fully relaxed

I usually do that for about five minutes and I find that it works for me. To me it's important because I have a bit of a fuse and like anyone else, it goes off every now and again. While some call meditation a fad o BS, I call it the best therapy. Imagine a day where the following things happen: 

• A tire explodes 
• A pipe bursts 
• You burn the souffle
• The cat pissed on the laptop

 How would you rather deal with that day? There's the possibility to do it angrily or do so with calm. If you do it angrily it will look like this: 

Why beat the shit out of someone with a keyboard when you can deal with your bad day in a relaxed way. I recommend meditation, yoga, pretty much anything to keep that emotion in check. All jokes and fun aside make sure to chill because life's too short. 

BASIL MARCEAUX WILL BE OUR NEXT PRESIDENT

Perhaps I am a bit late in my jump on to the Basil Marceaux bandwagon. Fuck it this is my blog and I do whatever the hell I want. I think Basil is the man to lead this country after Obama is gone. I am proposing that Mr. Marceaux build a grass roots campaign through an advent known as crowd funding. I feel that given his  strong stances on religion, the oath, the flag and vegetation, he would be a breath of fresh air in the US. Let's look at why Basil would run this country right:

This mean has conviction he has a stomach that shows both a great ability to withstand massive quantities of strong mexican beer. Basil is a strong believer in the legalization of marijuana because god's plants should not be illegal as evidenced by his extremely eloquent explanation at a 2010 gubernatorial debate.

That's right, Basil wants people to be happy and relaxed and to be careful with their guns. America, we need this man to lead us, like the captain of the Titanic, the pilot of the Hindenburg. I shall make it my business to get us this man, let's change it up in Washington.

This man will not buy his way to our hearts, no sir, he will steamroll his way through the red tape in Washington take take a literal dump on the hill. Let's get Basil America, before it's too late.

YOUTUBE MAKES PEOPLE HAPPY

I know you are probably thinking that I am insane and some sort of walking contradiction. I have often maligned the existence of the very stupid for the sake of inspiring arguments on current societal folly. I am extremely satisfied by the innocently stupid as opposed to the purposely stupid. The innocently stupid genuinely don't understand how terrible are and they entertain us with their naively ridiculous brand of foolishness.

Take the legendary public access host Diddlee Squat, I say legendary simply because he was pretty clueless and he was an obvious pervert that enjoyed a $4.95 pancake meal followed by an alley blow job from an old whore. Then there are dudes who really feel that they are special like the white rapper dude that wanted to be in MTV.

I think it's funny how this guy closes his vide by thanking MTV for listening to him, news flash champ they did not listen, in fact they pissed on your tape during an orgy with the a couple of sexy brazilian dancers from Rock in Rio. Youtube is a wonderful way to relax and look at life with a smug sense of righteousness because for every bad day there is some delightfully ignorant jackass making everything better through a major lack of self awareness.

THIS IS GREAT IF YOU LACK THE ESSENTIALS

If you lack charisma, talent, and magnetism, you should consider a career in public access television. I think public access is a great way to showcase the boring, unbelievably dull members of society. Every time I watch a minute of public access I feel like my life would be improved through the practice of chain smoking.

Part of my reason for saying this is the fact that I've noticed that public access not only gives the talentless an opportunity but it also makes them far more self righteous and arrogant than they should be. I once met the host of one of those shows and I thought the guy was a total asshole, I called him fat man, yes I was a kid. The man was host of a local drawing show for kids. I remember it like it was yesterday that the dude was eating escargot like it was going out of style. I think the fucker is dead now, as a consequence of being alive.

At any rate I say let's do the right thing and piss on the cars of public access stars.

THE SHUFFLE

The word social media has a million implications with the chief one being a platform for communication with perfect strangers. As with everything, social media has become a buzz monster like radio became in the 1920's. I see social media today as something of a beast that gets fed by people's ego. I remember reading this one kid's resume where he cited his clout score of 51 and climbing as a sort of marketable skill. Social media is a shuffle and everyone wants in, some to get laid, some go get played, some just to get sprayed.

BIEBER FEEVER GONE TOO FAR

Worry not Bieber fans as your idol is still the source of much conversation even amongst depraved killers. I must say Bieber Fever has really gone beyond being an STD you get by listening to this generation's version of Paul Anka (google it). I say this because Justin Bieber was the target of a murder plot by some convicts in Las Cruces New Mexico.

To make a long story short I guess one of the killers has a tattoo of the icon on his leg. To me this is an example of Bieber Fever gone too far. Part of the plot was to go ahead and castrate Bieber and his bodyguard Rufus T. Firefly. I wonder if the killers were going to auction the members on ebay. I learned of Bieber Feever while watching Key of Awesome's educational youtube spot on it.

I was not aware of the fact that Bieber Fever could go this far but thank heavens that our idol of idols is safe. Now I say let's move on to more important matters and figure out how the Gangnam Style dude is part of plot to destroy the world through incredibly lame music and horrific dancing.

OH NO SELENA GOMEZ HAS STREP THROAT! PLEASE LET US SAVE HER AS THAT WILL SOLVE CURRENT WORLD CRISES.........

Everyone I need you to please do some kind of spiritual ritual to save our favorite Wizard of Waverly Place from the clutches of the deadly disease known as strep throat. Yes you heard right everyone the head Beiber Fever carrier is now deathly ill with her throat itching as millions of bacteria are killing her precious vocal chords. We need to save her as the fate of the whole world depends on it.

Sorry after further research it turns out strep throat does not really kill people and she is not really the important to the fate of the free world. I still say we form a hand holding movement to show this brave lite doodle how important she really is to all of us. Anyone with me? Bueller? Bueller?  I guess I don't have the backing.

Really these are the news that are trending today and everyone wonders why there is such a generational disconnect. When I was in middle school we were taught to discuss relevant current events and learn to back up our opinions with well researched facts. If a kid shows up with this current event today he is superstar correspondent today.

This is what's wrong people!