YOUTUBE MAKES PEOPLE HAPPY

I know you are probably thinking that I am insane and some sort of walking contradiction. I have often maligned the existence of the very stupid for the sake of inspiring arguments on current societal folly. I am extremely satisfied by the innocently stupid as opposed to the purposely stupid. The innocently stupid genuinely don't understand how terrible are and they entertain us with their naively ridiculous brand of foolishness.

Take the legendary public access host Diddlee Squat, I say legendary simply because he was pretty clueless and he was an obvious pervert that enjoyed a $4.95 pancake meal followed by an alley blow job from an old whore. Then there are dudes who really feel that they are special like the white rapper dude that wanted to be in MTV.

I think it's funny how this guy closes his vide by thanking MTV for listening to him, news flash champ they did not listen, in fact they pissed on your tape during an orgy with the a couple of sexy brazilian dancers from Rock in Rio. Youtube is a wonderful way to relax and look at life with a smug sense of righteousness because for every bad day there is some delightfully ignorant jackass making everything better through a major lack of self awareness.

CUT THE JACKASS A BREAK

I'm sure you are wondering who the jackass is, it's Tom Cruise. I'm not a fan of Tom Cruise but I don't think it's fair to accuse him of saying something derogatory about the troops. It was stated in TMZ that he said something to the effect that making a film was as tough as being a soldier in Afghanistan. I don't think it's true, in fact I think it's total BS. I think that Tom Cruise has become a target primarily because he is a blind follower of scientology. We live in a free country, let him be a jackass, it's his right.

I don't think it's fair to accuse a person of making idiotic statements like that, this is the guy the did Born on the Fourth of July after all. I am not fond of Cruise but you have to give the guy some sort of break. I can't imagine what it's like to be considered a complete douche and on top of that have comments like that attributed to me. It was stated in CNN's site that the comments that were made by Cruise were taken out of context and re worded.

Let's not focus on so much negativity and crap and let's let jackasses be that without making their existence worst.

THE WAY TO HANDLE A JACKASS

Have you ever noticed the pseudo intellectual air of people that lob thinly veiled criticism? To me it's a thing of beauty witnessing people attempt to flex the thought muscle. I have been through that so many times, getting that unrequested and unwanted piece of shit advice. I love to just sit back and listen just so that I can pick out the twenty little mistakes in the advice itself. I have lived that and dealt with it since the day I realized I wanted to become a writer. I will never cease to be amazed by people giving their opinions with regards to everything that they know nothing about.

When it comes to people giving unwanted and unrequested advice and criticism I have come up with a ten step plan and the plan goes as follows:

1. Sit
2. Listen
3. Pay close attention
4. Allow yourself to go to a place other than the one you are in mentally
5. Count 25 sheep 
6. Think about your favorite food
7. Think about your favorite show
8. Think about your favorite movie
9. Think about your favorite muppets character 
10. FART!

Nothing clears a room and ends a conversation you don't want to have more effectively than a lethal fart. It doesn't matter the distance because farting is the universal language of discomfort. Yes, thats the way to handle it just fart until you feel a weight has left your body. Maybe this doesn't work for you in principle and perhaps it won't work in practice but it's still worth a shot.