WHEN DID WE LOSE TRACK?

In this age of social media and veiled ignorance we seem to have lost track of what's important in society. The population knows more about worthless figures like Justin Bieber and Rihanna than they do about their forefathers. I know that there is such a thing as evolution but I'm fairly certain that evolution implies progress and not regression. You ask anyone a question about the current state of the economy and you'll get some stupid and unrelated answer.

The specter of pseudo intellect and feigned indifference has become a ruling force of sorts. I understand that politics much like religion are private matters but I'd say that matters that affect society are far more important than matters of celebrity. I really could care less if Rihanna wants to show her goods or if Justin Bieber is a racist punk. I guess my question is, how does any of that make us better?

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?

I love being a father, I love kids, and I have fond memories of my childhood and a few defining moments that helped shape a large portion of my behavior. When I was a kid I had a very basic and clear description of the "Don't go there regions." Im certain you are wondering what the hell a " Don't go there region" is, so by all means let me enlighten you. The following list covers some of the major "Don't go there regions" of my youth:

1. Stealing.
2. Raising my voice.
3. Interrupting others.
4. Fighting.
5. Disrespecting my elders.
6. Bullying.
7. Tantrums. 
8. Staying up late.

As I grew each region took on a new dimension but essentially the concept was the same. One thing that I did was test the regions, as it turns out my first test was successful in giving me a clear message that further testing would result in some manner of my own demise.  I will never forget it because it involved 3 regions at once as well as my favorite candy.

I was a five year old and extremely outgoing, I had what some would call a winning personality that captured the heart of many, partly because I was a master at engaging people in conversation. My mom and Step Dad took me to the supermarket after picking me up from school. This particular trip was a welcome change as it meant that I could play both sides against the middle and get a box of Jordan Almonds, my favorite candy. 

I attempted to work my plan when, in unison, my parents said " NO." I could see my hope evaporate, the taste of the sweet shell left as soon as it had arrived. In my young and semi- devious mind I was crushed as well as blinded by my ambition. The 1980's were a decade of greed and I was greedy for my candy. Naturally I did what came natural to a child that age and threw a tantrum, my mother squashed it with something I like to refer to as the eyebrow of death. I wrestled the almonds away from my step dad's hand and darted to the comfort of our car. I thought this was done and over seeing as how possession is nine tenths of the law. I was so mistaken as both my parents spanked me, took the almonds, and proceeded to punish me. 

Now I flash forward thirty years and think of some of the kids I see today. Parents are totally afraid to discipline their kids and the little fuckers know, and often take advantage of the situation. I'm not saying this is the majority of cases or even half but I swear it sickens me. Parents don't need to beat the shit out of their kids but some parameters and a spanking when necessary in order to assert authority works way better than a conversation. Spanking is not abuse, using a belt or going medieval is. What was done to our parents in the 50's and 60's helped spawn peace and love and that's great, but seriously. 

YOUTUBE MAKES PEOPLE HAPPY

I know you are probably thinking that I am insane and some sort of walking contradiction. I have often maligned the existence of the very stupid for the sake of inspiring arguments on current societal folly. I am extremely satisfied by the innocently stupid as opposed to the purposely stupid. The innocently stupid genuinely don't understand how terrible are and they entertain us with their naively ridiculous brand of foolishness.

Take the legendary public access host Diddlee Squat, I say legendary simply because he was pretty clueless and he was an obvious pervert that enjoyed a $4.95 pancake meal followed by an alley blow job from an old whore. Then there are dudes who really feel that they are special like the white rapper dude that wanted to be in MTV.

I think it's funny how this guy closes his vide by thanking MTV for listening to him, news flash champ they did not listen, in fact they pissed on your tape during an orgy with the a couple of sexy brazilian dancers from Rock in Rio. Youtube is a wonderful way to relax and look at life with a smug sense of righteousness because for every bad day there is some delightfully ignorant jackass making everything better through a major lack of self awareness.

ONE IS OLD AND HORNY, THE OTHER IS STUPID AND ALSO HORNY............I SMELL SERIES

I guess Suzanne Somers is a horny lady and that's a good thing. Suzanne stated that she has sex two to three times a day. I think it's wonderful that Suzanne likes sex at age 66. Sex is a wonderful thing and if people had more sex there would be much less war. After her revelation that she loves to give tang to her husband she proceeded to slam Miley Cyrus' claim that sex dies after 40.

What kind of pisses me off about this is that Miley Cyrus is a dumb little whore that knows nothing about life and has no business talking about sex after 40. If Miley is giving it up to anyone that will take it and loving it, that's her business. Where I'm angry at Suzanne Summers is that statement of " I admire what she's doing."

What is it that Suzanne admires? The overly blatant use of sexuality just so that she can get some attention? I'm not really sure that particular trait has any admirability. The fact of the matter is Miley Cyrus can sing and she has an abundance of talent that doesn't call for her to show everyone how well she can accommodate a penis. Miley gets blasted by names like Annie Lennox and Sinead O'Connor because her talent is being obscured by her prostitute like demeanor.

I think Miley and Suzanne should do a series where they........never mind, too easy.

It's good to look back in order to not do any real work

So when exactly did it become okay for news to go back as far fourteen years? If we go by the definition of news it states the following:

1) Newly received or noteworthy information, esp. about recent or important events.

Okay so It's my guess that this would apply to every subject from politics to fashion. I understand that the internet is a melting pot but I wonder if it has become a melting pot for totally unchallenged stupidity. I open my news feed in order to see what information of note was there and most of the information was either ridiculous in nature or rehashed information from years ago.

I do understand the value of something memorable but in the times we are living. Is it really necessary to talk about Rose Mcgowan's 1998 VMA dress? Maybe I have become jaded but if something is going to be labeled "news" make it it significant enough for people to take their time and actually read it. One last note to the world please ban that fucking idiot Perez Hilton, that guy is a total shitbag.