AN ODD COUPLE MADE IN COMEDY HEAVEN

I haven't really kept up with the news of Vladimir Putin's latest shenanigans, simply because I don't particularly care for him in any respect. When I saw a picture circulating of Putin next to Steven Seagal my curiosity was peaked. I glanced over the article where the "Star" called Putin a brother and so on. I realized then that Putin has a side gig, luring fat has been actors into Russia with promises of of doughnuts, cheese, and fine wine.

I think Putin believes that with warriors like Seagal and Gerard Depardieu he can make make the world think twice about his martial arts and governing abilities. Seagal is a Mob Hitman, CIA Operative, Martial Arts Guru, Action Star, Cop, Reality Star and Voodoo Priest. The implications here are that Putin can learn so very much from the jolly fat weapon of mass pollution, he may well be unstoppable.

Let's see how these two bangerz threaten the world, and yes that was a Miley reference.

JUSTIN BIEBER..........THIS WAS TOO EASY

I bet that every pre pubescent girl is screaming " No, it was baking powder and he was trying to deliver eggs" as it relates to Justin Bieber. I personally don't give a shit but the fallout is absolutely hilarious. Justin Bieber is a talented artist but a total douche. I think that he has a ways to go before he hits the necessary wall. I'm certain the next step is a crack filled, sex video with ball wrecker Miley Cyrus.

SPACE CATS WILL MAKE YOU THE COOLEST EVER

Miley Cyrus has gotten a lot of criticism because she grew up and no one associates her with her Hannah Montana image anymore. Miley is highly sexual, overly suggestive and it seems like that overshadows her amazing voice. Miley managed to completely turn that around with her AMA performance, with space cats no less.

Miley came out looking hot in a cat two piece and began belting out her hit Wrecking Ball with a kitty in the background. The cat served as a backup singer and as he sang the wire graphics reminiscent of the original Star Wars video game would come out and the cat ended up doing the tongue thing and crying. I think this moment far outshines the time when her dad offered critics a quarter in order to call someone who cares after he won for some douche country song.

I won't ever really be a huge Miley fan but I gotta give her this one because it was one of those performances that's both perfect and insane in every imaginable way.

ONE IS OLD AND HORNY, THE OTHER IS STUPID AND ALSO HORNY............I SMELL SERIES

I guess Suzanne Somers is a horny lady and that's a good thing. Suzanne stated that she has sex two to three times a day. I think it's wonderful that Suzanne likes sex at age 66. Sex is a wonderful thing and if people had more sex there would be much less war. After her revelation that she loves to give tang to her husband she proceeded to slam Miley Cyrus' claim that sex dies after 40.

What kind of pisses me off about this is that Miley Cyrus is a dumb little whore that knows nothing about life and has no business talking about sex after 40. If Miley is giving it up to anyone that will take it and loving it, that's her business. Where I'm angry at Suzanne Summers is that statement of " I admire what she's doing."

What is it that Suzanne admires? The overly blatant use of sexuality just so that she can get some attention? I'm not really sure that particular trait has any admirability. The fact of the matter is Miley Cyrus can sing and she has an abundance of talent that doesn't call for her to show everyone how well she can accommodate a penis. Miley gets blasted by names like Annie Lennox and Sinead O'Connor because her talent is being obscured by her prostitute like demeanor.

I think Miley and Suzanne should do a series where they........never mind, too easy.

OH NO! HANNAH MONTANA TURNED TO BESTIALITY WITH THE DANCING BEAR JAMBOREE

So Miley Cyrus decided to "shed" the Hannah Monatana image by having pretend intercourse with the dancing bear jamboree. I feel kind of bad for Miley because at the VMA's she managed to just look like a crack whore trying desperately to get laid by anyone not frightened of herpes. Miley Cyrus made her career playing a child star with a magic wit and a halfwit hillbilly dad. Miley Cyrus is not as talented as a prime Madonna, she's not really much of anything other than shock value.

Miley needs to pretend to the asshole of a bear in order to get attention. The truth is Miley's voice is annoying, her moves are kind of shitty, and like almost every other performer today she has no knowledge of music. The VMA's are not now, and they have never been, anything other than real shock. People watch the VMA's to see celebrities perform without filter, which is exactly what Miley Cyrus did.

The reason why Miley needed to perform like this is because she needs visuals in order to hide how bad she is. Miley seems to be so uninteresting that even Drake decided to indulge tweets from Amanda Bynes rather than listen to her shit. I'm pretty sure Will Smith and his kids were thinking " Mama no!" when they say Miley's ass less twerking sequences.

MTV used to stand for music television because they played videos. Now MTV should stand for something else because truthfully it just runs shit shows that reward people whose talents are questionable, for the most part. I still think Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke, Pink, and others are talented but they don't get as much attention as an anorexic whore.