BIEBER, BRAZIL, AND THE CONVERSATION

The big news over the last week have centered on the Justin Bieber escapade in Brazil. Bieber was taped sleeping by a "girl" that was "visiting" him. I personally think that Justin is looking for a mother figure because this girl looks like she's got some serious miles on her. I can only imagine what a conversation between them was like.

Justin: Sup girl?

Tati: I have fever in the bieber.

Justin: I'm sad yo'

Tati: I make you happy.

Justin: Yo baby, do something for me.

Tati: Yes?

Justin: Read me a story yo'

Tati: ???

Justin: I like the three bears yo'

Tati: You want I suck you?

Justin: I suck my thumb yo'

Tati: I do nice for you.

Justin: Obrigado bitch.

I think Justin is a sad little clown that wants to get laid and hear fairy tales and that's okay, you only live once. Good boy Justin, you get your lady to tell you stories and whatnot.

ONE IS OLD AND HORNY, THE OTHER IS STUPID AND ALSO HORNY............I SMELL SERIES

I guess Suzanne Somers is a horny lady and that's a good thing. Suzanne stated that she has sex two to three times a day. I think it's wonderful that Suzanne likes sex at age 66. Sex is a wonderful thing and if people had more sex there would be much less war. After her revelation that she loves to give tang to her husband she proceeded to slam Miley Cyrus' claim that sex dies after 40.

What kind of pisses me off about this is that Miley Cyrus is a dumb little whore that knows nothing about life and has no business talking about sex after 40. If Miley is giving it up to anyone that will take it and loving it, that's her business. Where I'm angry at Suzanne Summers is that statement of " I admire what she's doing."

What is it that Suzanne admires? The overly blatant use of sexuality just so that she can get some attention? I'm not really sure that particular trait has any admirability. The fact of the matter is Miley Cyrus can sing and she has an abundance of talent that doesn't call for her to show everyone how well she can accommodate a penis. Miley gets blasted by names like Annie Lennox and Sinead O'Connor because her talent is being obscured by her prostitute like demeanor.

I think Miley and Suzanne should do a series where they........never mind, too easy.

MY FIRST BRUSH WITH INSANITY

You ever have a brush with insanity? I remember when I first met this particular aide of the mind. I was about 6 years old, the year was 1985. I use to love to watch cartoons on Sunday mornings. I was a morning person and the youngest in my home, so being up early was almost a requirement. I was really heavy into action cartoons but I had a soft spot for Warner Brothers classics. I remember one Sunday morning in 1985 very well because what I saw gave me the feeling that it was okay to think beyond normal, and into the insane.

The cartoon I saw was called Porky in Wackyland, that cartoon was a gem of insanity that saw Porky fly into some sort of crazy world in search of the one and only Do Do. I thought this was some cutting edge stuff. This world known as Wackyland was the first visual psychedelic world that was visual to society. This short was crafted in 1938 and it became something of a hit, with children and parents. The thing is that this cartoon was a serious step into surrealism.

Surrealism, to me, is something of a state of insanity. Visually speaking this cartoon was a trip to insanity for me. I did not understand this cartoon and I hated the fact that it had no anvils, pianos, that it had cartoony qualities whatsoever. Weeks later I would see things in clouds and come up with stories about the world in general. I was an oddball of sort because I could see more than He Man or other trendy characters.

I wondered if I was crazy for feeling this way, but I realized years later that I was not crazy. This cartoon introduced me to insanity, a friend and aide. When it's properly controlled and reigned in, insanity is a special friend. Thanks Porky, I owe you for that special day.

WHY I ALWAYS HATED MILLI VANILLI

I never liked Milli Vanilli because I honestly could not understand how to German dudes could sound like they came from the depths of Motown. I remember when these dudes first burst on the scene everyone was going crazy. I was only ten in 89' when these guys burst on the scene and I just did not like them. All the girls went crazy for them and everyone wanted to sound like them but even back then I just got the feel that something was off about them.

The dudes were no doubt talented but that soul sound was just not right by any stretch of the imagination. Then I remember the big scandal where they had to return their grammy. As time passed and the story of Milli Vanilli took on a different shape altogether I felt bad for the two of them and I realized why I hated them. I was let down by the fact that they went along with a lie and allowed everyone to believe they were something that they really weren't.

I don't think about it now but back then it just bothered me that these two guys got a spot that they did not earn in any way shape or form. The guys could dance and the one that lived could actually sing. I think they would have been huge if they had actually been willing to put in the work required. I think Rob Pilatus maybe alive today if the whole Milli Vanilli thing hadn't happened. I guess this is what happens when two hapless idiots are given a golden key that they don't know how to manage. It's better to work and be ambitious than to be ambitious and totally ignorant.