Okay so today I found myself wanting to write and feeling empty in terms of material so I decided to go after my favorite target. At this point you are probably wondering who or what that would be and, you guessed it, I hate the Honey Boo Boo. Why do I hate this show so much? Why does this portly little tub of Southern homegrown biscuit butter just piss me off? These questions are questions that I have asked myself in a manner worthy of Darwinian examination. What I mean by this is that Honey Boo Boo makes a person weak with ignorance and herself manages to survive without being the fittest.
Let me start with how sick I am with the concept of dressing young girls like experienced, tax paying, Nevada hookers. I also have a profound distaste for the way that her family conducts itself. These humble backwoods banjo players really love the burping and armpit games. My next and quite logical question is: Why play burping bonanza in front of a kid whom you want to be the next Miss America? (insert snide comment here....PLEASE!). I love the fact that occasionally they subtitle the shows because these people have the worst English.
I don't like this little girl because she is an annoying version of piglet. If I was to liken her to something I would say she is bastard child of Ms. Piggy and one of the other pigs from the "Pigs in Outer Space" sketch in the old Muppet Show. I think that Honey Boo Boo is more than likely going to be like a regional version of the Kardashians. I think that Honey Boo Boo will more than likely marry a single A baseball player with very low self esteem and triple A dreams.
You go Honey Boo Boo and be the Southern Kardashian you were meant to be.
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