THE ART OF THE UNUSUAL NAME

Every country in the world has its popular names. Here in the states you have Matthew, James, Michael, and so on. There is a true art in making your kid's name something no one's ever heard and making it cool. Let's assume you have a boy and a German last name. How would you make the kids's name cool? Start by eliminating the obvious like Adolph, or Kaiser Wilhelm. So how do you narrow it down? 

• If it's a boy look for something that sounds almost macho movie star like.
• Avoid tech names.
• Do not use something that can be sexual like Ballerio which can be likened to ball licker in some way.

It's also important to look at the kid and assess his or her glaring physical features. Make sure if you have a hairy kid you don't name it Wolf or Thestral. It's good to not name the kid for at leas two or three weeks while planning the name. Think in the realm of the magical and then look at superheroes as well. It may be that you are into the goth, so you may want to look at some of the following sources: 

• Ancient Greek history.
• Scythian history, relating to ancient greece.
• Jordanes 

Picking a cool name is all going to depend on the research, your knowledge of the name and ultimately how comfortable you are with ramifications such as beat downs and harassment. Picking an unusual name is an art, don't fuck it up. 

MARRIAGE IS GREAT, WHEN TAKEN IN MODERATION

I think marriage is a wonderful institution, kind of like Disney World. When you enter marriage it's a lot like going to Magic Kingdom in the sense that there's wonder, joy, a little apprehension, some spending, and in the end you leave asking yourself why. Marriage quantity is also like Magic Kingdom in the sense that the more you go the more you spend and the less satisfied you are.

We jump into marriage sometimes too soon and sometimes not soon enough. Often times we go in because we fear living alone for a period of time or for the rest of our lives. Marriage can be the solution to a problem and a problem that never really needed solution to begin with. Sometimes we treat marriage like a ferris wheel with different colored pods.

I think it's vital we understand that those pods each have a different personality and they are likely to swing in ways we may not understand or appreciate. Marriage is wonderful in the same way that scolding hot coffee is wonderful, it keeps you up, worries you, and gives you a feeling of invincibility coupled with massive headaches.

I say marry with good intentions, live with better intentions and worry without consideration. If your marriage dissolves remember always that life is one and you must live on to fight another day.

WHEN IT'S OVER

Marriage is one of those lifetime propositions that seems to work less and less now a days. I think that part of the reason why marriages fail is because people would rather move on than stick around and grow apart. I think part of this is due t to the fact that a lot of 50 year marriages are made up of people who were enemies and didn't really know it. You can tell by just looking that a couple is comprised of two negative halves, especially when the husband looks like he wants to fade away.

I think that when marriages are over, people don't have to hate one another. Life is too short for hatred and pettiness. I think if the wife gets it al she should be happy, the friends should shut the fuck up, and the kiddies should consider themselves lucky. If the parents, assuming there are kids, love the kids and are on the same page then let's all have a dinner.

I think that when it's over, if it's over, it should be in a civilized manner. I pride myself in the fact that my current state is one of tremendous civility. I think the whole when it's over thing should be done with civility. I do have to say that if there are extenuating circumstances there is a good chance that there will be some sort of bloodshed.

GOOD DEAL

I read a story about Lily Tomlin possibly marrying her partner of 42 years. This story has made headlines all over the place. I think it's cool but I wonder what the relevance is. While there is a possibility now that they can get married, it won't really change the nature of their relationship. Yes Lily Tomlin is a major celebrity and yes he is very funny, but still I think someone's personal life really shouldn't take center stage at any point in time.

Lily Tomlin is gay and everyone knows that. It's cool that she is not in your face about it. Famous or private, straight or gay, it is extremely important for people to keep their personal life personal. It's not your personal life or choices that serves as the ultimate definition of character. I will say one thing for Lily Tomlin, I would love to see her do the character of Edith Ann.

Best of luck to Lilly Tomlin if she does get married. I wonder if when she gets married she will dress up as Ernestine. Hopefully she'll get back to doing comedy like she used to, in order to escape the monotony of marriage.

WHEN YOU TRY TO PRY

Have you ever been in that position where you are trying to get something from someone and it's impossible to do so? What I mean is making that attempt to have a conversation and while you set the base for what could be something wonderful you are handed shit in the vein of a monosyllabic response. Sometimes it's understandable because there are conversations that you don't want to have but what about the important ones?

What I mean by important conversation is let's assume you are a father having the talk with your daughter's future better half. Imagine if instead of a good strong talk you have something like:

DAD: Hey John

GROOM: Sup

DAD: How are you?

GROOM: I'm k

DAD: Pardon me

GROOM: I'm good.

DAD: So what are your plans once you are married?

GROOM: Dunno

DAD: You what?

GROM: Dunno

DAD: You don't know?

GROOM: Yup.

This could go on forever with the end result being some sort of near tragedy involving a dog, a dove, and a Ford Pinto. Do I have a point with this? Yes I do as a matter of fact. There are times when you need to be guarded and there are times when you need to be open. There is nothing wrong with starting a conversation that has some sort importance and there is even less wrong with helping that conversation expand into something of meaning. Next time you want to be a jackass remember that he who does not try usually eats shit.

THE DEBATE

I finally understand the meaning of the red equality sign. To be honest I think this is a sign of progress in the debate over gay marriage. This entry is not to fight fiercely for gay marriage and certainly not to stand against it. I am a firm believer that things should always be talked out in a civilized manner and that this is the kind of debate that's allowing ignorance to reign supreme. The fact is that you have two sides taking extreme views one way or another with not as many people taking a common sense view.

It doesn't mater if you agree or disagree with gay marriage but it does matter how you defend your view. I can't really support the argument against it because it generally cites the bible as the principal source of moral authority. You can read the bible and quote it as often as you want but, how many members of congress and of the bible belt have been caught violating the very biblical principles that they cite? The fact of the matter is that you cannot use one source as the way to firmly stand against an issue.

Let's really study morality for a second and see what we come up with. If you have a gay couple and they lead a quiet and respectful life, and are upstanding citizens, are they immoral on the basis of being gay? Is it okay to have orgies, threesomes, and sex in public if you are straight? I have heard the whole it was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve deal but once more I say let's all look at the facts. Do we really know that the bible story is true? Everyone has their own set of beliefs from Muslims, to Jews, to Christians, to Atheists but said beliefs are somewhat theoretical and based on more assumption of record than proven and verified.

I think it's also fair to ask if people against gay marriage are living under the assumption that you chose to be gay. It has not been proven if being gay is genetic, a choice, or a matter of conditioning in a specific environment. I think it's fair for gays to want a fair shot at legalizing gay marriage but from state to state it's a debate that's going to vary. In a way I find myself agreeing with Bill O'Reilly's sentiments that it's a state matter and it should be decided as such.

Some places are more liberal than others and I understand that making this a federal issue is more about benefits issues for same sex partnerships, going beyond the whole recognition of a person's chose to openly love with someone of their own gender. Gay marriage, equality, and recognition are all a part of the new civil rights debate that much like the civil rights movement of the 50's and 60's will rage on for a long time to come.