OKAY SO YOU'RE RETIRING, GOOD FOR YOU

I like Barbara Walters because I think she is a great example of a pioneer. Barbara Walters has been a major part of the broadcast landscape for the last five decades and over those five decades she has also become a symbol of American excellence. Throughout her career she has interviewed world leaders, movie stars, rock stars and everyone in between. There is no doubting the contributions of Barbara Walters to the world of broadcasting. When you think about it 20/20 was the Ferrari of magazine shows.

I still think it's a tad bit self serving to start the countdown clock and create a self portrait of sorts. Everyone knows Barbara Walters is a legend that has accomplished what few if any individuals have. Barbara Walters has managed to stay current and on top of the game even though she is 83 years of age. I still think that making the announcement over a year ahead of time is like saying " everyone prepare yourselves please." I would have rather seen the announcement delivered in the form of a press release or perhaps something more significant than that ridiculous daytime show.

I will miss Barbara Walters because for well over twenty five years I have seen her interviews. Barbara Walters made ABC destination television even when ABC was so far behind in the ratings that a safe distance was considered one million light years behind FOX. There will never be another Barbara Walters but then again there will never be another Bozo either, okay bad comparison.

THE INTERNET AS A PERSON

Have you ever wondered what the internet would be like as a person? I think given the vast array of knowledge and connectivity in the web it would be something like Archie Bunker in that it would e full of knowledge that's not always useful, more than a little racism, a lot of narrow mindedness and more than likely a massive asexual nature that would almost completely forbid it from reproduction. I am fascinated by the internet for so many reasons.

None of use can give the internet a physical appearance whatsoever. The internet could be a sexy woman, a fat man, a Nigerian scheme artist looking to spread your family's wealth to you since a horrific plane crash or a dog. We don't know what it looks like but we can give it some shape. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have the internet over for dinner?

I imagine the internet would provide great conversation and an occasional anecdote concerning some unimaginable sexual act involving a bottle, a french tickler, a blender and two different types of orange juice. Then there is the internet's growth into relationships and possible proliferation of the family persuasion. I know I mentioned the internet as asexual but I can imagine an internet child. I think the internet would likely marry Forgy Network, a petite girl in the communications industry.

I imagine the internet would name his first child My Space whilst the second far more gifted and charismatic one would be known as Facebook and a third with the ability to assimilate would be known as Twitter. The internet would disown My Space for being completely lame while watching Facebook marry off to Jennifer Instagram Epstein while Twitter would struggle in a long term live in relationship with Pinterest Long that just won't go anywhere due to Pinterest's one dimensional views and narrow minded nature.

The Internet would never retire and work the same way Fidel Castro has, blocks of eternity. Chances are that the net would run for political office and end up taking the world in some sort of misinformation coup that would employ vast amounts of ignorance from followers. I think that the film TRON pretty much gave it all away as far as the internet goes.

Lucky for us the internet is not a person with said capabilities of taking over the world, or is it?

HUGO CHAVEZ, VENEZUELA'S CHAVO

At the risk of pissing off a lot of Hugo Chavez fans given his death I will take this opportunity to pay my respects to a person I did not care for ever at any point. Hugo Chavez is dead, may he rest in some sort of peace and may he abstain from pissing off the celestials like he did everyone else. Out of all Venezuelan Presidents it seems like Chavez was both the most confrontational, and the kindest in a backward ass way. I mean to say kind in the sense that he obviously wanted the poor majority in Venezuela to think that he was a soft teddy bear.

I did not really read up on Chavez or his policies too often but the fact of the matter is that Chavez was a politician just like anyone else in a position of power. Chavez knew that he needed to cater to an oppressed and impoverished majority that was being somewhat held down by an outdated classes system, an oligarchy. In appearance Chavez was the guy that was willing to take on people like Bush, and Mexican President Vicente Fox.

I will never forget Chavez declaring George W. Bush a crazy drug addict in a UN speech and threatening to take a chunk from Vicente Fox in a televised address. The bottom line is that Chavez was another power hungry individual that had to die in order to give up his power. In a way Chavez went the same way he came, with a massive impact. Through his Presidency Chavez implemented constitutional reform and his ideas were influenced by an anti imperialist agenda, a participatory democracy, self sufficiency, and zero corruption. What influenced Chavez was Bolivarianism.

The idea of no corruption and taking socialism an bring it forward is great. The only problem with trying to implement socialism in its true form is that socialism is an almost perfect mixture of government control and democracy that is not designed to withstand corruption, in fact it invites it. One thing that always impressed me about the Chavez was the fact that he caught the imagination of the "revolutionary" majority.

I saw a massive influx of Venezuelans with means leave their country in scorn. On the flip side of the equation I saw a huge number of impoverished Venezuelans really take to Chavez. In some ways Chavez was a new and improved version of Fidel Castro in that he maintained some progress while putting boots to asses. Now that Chavez is dead there will be no more threats of cage fighting, and ass kicking anywhere, at least for now.

El Chavez has left the building so let's all continue to live life as if the last 14 years had never taken place.