SPACE CATS WILL MAKE YOU THE COOLEST EVER

Miley Cyrus has gotten a lot of criticism because she grew up and no one associates her with her Hannah Montana image anymore. Miley is highly sexual, overly suggestive and it seems like that overshadows her amazing voice. Miley managed to completely turn that around with her AMA performance, with space cats no less.

Miley came out looking hot in a cat two piece and began belting out her hit Wrecking Ball with a kitty in the background. The cat served as a backup singer and as he sang the wire graphics reminiscent of the original Star Wars video game would come out and the cat ended up doing the tongue thing and crying. I think this moment far outshines the time when her dad offered critics a quarter in order to call someone who cares after he won for some douche country song.

I won't ever really be a huge Miley fan but I gotta give her this one because it was one of those performances that's both perfect and insane in every imaginable way.

GOTTA LOVE THE SNL FIVE TIMERS CLUB

This week's SNL brought back an old all time favorite known as the Five Timers Club. Justin Timberlake once again proved why he is the new Christopher Walken of SNL. Justin is a stand out and I have to admit he is actually pretty funny. I was never a huge fan of  NSYNC but Justin Timberlake is one of those rare individuals that outgrew all of that and turned into a mega power. I digress with all the Timberlake talk, let's get back to the Five Timers Club.

The first time I saw the Five Timers Club was in 1989 and I believe the newest member was Tom Hanks. In the sketch were Paul Simon, Steve Martin, and Elliot Gould and they all sat around with smoking jackets and pipes . The thing was hilarious and it became an every so often sketch that never lost its appeal. In a way that particular sketch is a lot like Christopher Walken's The Continental in that it makes SNL fresh and gives it room to breathe for a few minutes.

I liked the continuity in that sketch as it brought back Paul Simon, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Candace Bergen and Tom Hanks as well as everyone's favorite Baldwin. Watching that sketch was like going back in time to a point where I was staying up past my bed time and watching a show that I did not understand completely but somehow managed to make me laugh a lot. SNL has been having a pretty good run for the last few years with cast members like Keenan Thompson and Bill Hader but it's good to see it get back to its roots.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT CATS?

I love all animals but I think cats are somewhat depressing. I associate cats with loneliness and a point in time when you need something to help you keep your sanity. The fact is that cats end up as the custodians of older, or hoarder type people and usually it's women. I have seen articles about ladies whose homes were populated by hundreds of cats.

I read a news story about a lady whose home saw 67 dead cats removed and 99 live cats taken out. So we are talking about a total of 166 cats in this lady's home. The home, located in Wright New York, was the source of a massive and overpowering odors of feces and urine. To me this is unacceptable and despicable but at the same time it makes me wonder about cats.

I wonder if cats have some sort of power that we don't notice. I think that cats have a thing stemming back from the old days in Egypt. Perhaps cats are actually an evolved alien race trying to hatch a scheme in order to take over the earth. I think back to the Laser Cats digital short in Saturday Night Live and maybe the writers of that short got it right. I think cats will come from the planet Catnipus and try to enslave us. Who can say no?

Cats can be truly adorable and perhaps they will be the nice types of overlords. The truth of the matter is that cats do seem to have a devious agenda and it's now coming to fruition but slowly.

MEOW, MEOW, MEOW!

THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION, WHERE GUILT IS ALWAYS CERTAIN

So did the Wag really do it? The answer to that question is simple. It doesn't matter if Robert Wagner is as innocent as a member of the Vienna Boys Choir as he has been found guilty in the court of public opinion. If you are having problems following this article let me explain what I mean. Robert Wagner is still considered a suspect in the drowning death of his wife Natalie Wood according to the court of public opinion.

The fact is that even the police has stated that Robert Wagner is not a person of interest in the newly re opened investigation into Natalie Wood's accidental drowning. For years people have suspected Wagner because as the story goes there was alcohol, their were arguments, and in the end there were allegations that pointed a finger in Wagner's direction.

At this point it has been nearly 32 years since Natalie Wood died and it doesn't matter if Wagner had something to do with it or not. The fact is that with the time that has elapsed it is impossible to establish a credible case. There is no DNA to speak of and given the fact that there was alcohol involved any allegation can be called into question.

Robert Wagner is an 82 year old man who at the time of Natalie Wood's was in the prime of his career. The fact is that if he did have something to do with her death he covered it well enough to where now it doesn't matter. Sometimes justice is too blind and it's not the court system that takes care of it but rather the good and reliable court of public opinion.

THE NATALIE WOOD CASE

There is always one news story that seems to stay with the public. It does not matter if it's death or for that matter some fluff piece about a rogue granny with a heart of gold. One such case is the story of Natalie Wood's death by "accidental" drowning in 1981. Natalie Wood was one of America's all time beloved stars whose death sent shock waves not only through show business but really through the world. Today the case of her death has reached what I would consider almost mythical proportions.

As of today, three full decades later, her death remains shrouded in mystery given the events that took place prior to the discovery of her dead body. There was always a suspicion that she was allowed to die by her husband, actor Robert Wagner, after a heated argument involving beloved cowbell superstar Christopher Walken. Recently the case was re- opened as new allegations of fowl play as well as the nature of the argument surfaced giving this story a new life.

Now the cause of death has been ruled as "undetermined" given the condition of her body when it was found. Multiple individuals have attempted to point a finger at Robert Wagner as the reason behind her death. The truth is that the Natalie Wood case will never be solved no matter what evidence comes out. Christopher Walken will never talk and Wagner will always maintain his innocence in the matter.

After 31 years this case is one that will remain a mystery because no actual account can remain accurate  and there is no evidence of struggles, fights, or foul play. When the only thing you hear is that there was alcohol involved and no one seems to really have a clear account you can only say "what could have happened."

I don't think that re-opening the case will get this case closer to being solved and changing the cause of death does nothing but arouse the interest of a new generation of novices that are tired of gossip about the Kardashians and the talentless crop of celebrities getting attention for everything other than a respectable body of work.