WHAT A LIFE!

There are multiple schools of thought on a lengthy life.Some people feel that a lengthy life is a curse while others cherish the possibility. To me a lengthy life is something that can only be as good as the changes you witness within the time you live. Besse Cooper the 116 year old Georgia woman that passed away recently is an example of a long life worth the time.

Besse's biggest claim to fame maybe her age and perhaps she was not a major figure in any other respect, but still, do the math. Besse was born in 1896 during a time when the US was changing into an industrial age run by steel mills, lumber barons, and oil magnates. By the time that the US stock market crashed in 1929 she was 33 and nearly twelve years later when the US was pulled back to prominence by the New Deal she was well into middle age.

Besse witnessed the birth of television as well as the birth of the computer age. The fact that this lady did not necessarily take part in any of these events as an innovator is really irrelevant. For an individual to be able to say that she was a part of a century that went from a divided and bitter n civil rights to an African American US president is something special. Ms. Cooper's eyes are a reflection of what true change is like especially when you pay close attention.

Besse Cooper, what a life!

WHEN 20 THINGS HAPPEN

Life is a lot like a set of dominoes in the sense that any way you stack them when one moves the rest will fall in perfect synchronicity. In the end the pile is either straight or all over the place but the fact is that you never really know what the significance is. I personally love stacking Dominoes becasue based on my mood the fall may reflect what the day will be like.

I know this sounds crazy but the truth is that when one thing happens it leads to another and another and finally another. The end result is twenty things have happened and you don't know where the hell to go. I think in some ways life is like a monolith for every individual. It's almost like destiny is the series of weird 2001: A Space Odyssey monkey men trying to knock us over to see what we do.

I guess count what happens to you in life in the span of a day. Once you are done counting examine everything and see what the end result is. You will realize that when 20 things happen you are a domino and your own will is what's going to determine how gracefully you stand and how badly you will fall.

NOTHING WORST THAN AN OLD HAS BEEN

This blog is aimed at one specific individual that shall for now remain nameless. For the sake of identification we shall call him DJ MB THE FUCKER. Recently I saw a couple of pictures of him and for some reason he irritated the hell out of me. I did not understand why at first but then I realized why. DJ MB THE FUCKER is an old man trying to remain young but failing miserably.

The fact is that there is something to be said for aging with grace and looking dignified. This guy reminds me of a seventy something old guy that used to wear Ed Hardy clothes to the clubs and dance all night. I can respect a youthful spirit and I encourage it I just find it hard to respect a fool that looks like an idiot, stuffed inside a moron, stuffed inside a used douchebag. Oh wow this man is like the turducken.

My advice to this old idiot is simple and comes from a good place. I suggest you allow younger people to flourish and retire. I think you should focus on eating penny candy and drinking ensure in order to regulate your bowel functions. Please get dome argile socks and read a book by the fire you old stinking fucker. The last thing I advise for you is to please learn to order from the low salts menu as I hear salt at your advanced age can be deadly.

YOU TELL THEM GARY BUSEY

Gary Busey is quite possibly the coolest crazy guy alive. Busey was recently quoted as saying " When you have too much it's a good feeling to let it go. I love the fact that a guy who could be bitching about his horrid money problems is instead taking the zen approach. Gary is in $450,00 worth of tax debt and yet he has the coolest attitude of anyone I have ever seen.

I think Busey in all his crazy Oklahoma, weed, quarter hole in the head philosophy is a great example. If you've had it all at some point or another and you either squandered it or had it squandered be greatful that you had it and learn to move on without it. I think it's also to view Gary Busey as a tale of caution not to let your hands get ahead of your common sense.

As the Zen Okie would say " Money means Most of Nights Elvis Yawns" does that make any sense? No but then again Gary Busey is about philosophy.

OH NO, KIM KARDASHIAN WILL CAUSE A WAR!

Kim Kardashian's recent visit to Bahrain caused an uproar and countless protests of all sorts. I am guessing that in Bahrain they don'tappreciate reality television. I guess I am having a hard time understanding the whole reasoning behind this. Is the protest because of her giagantic behind? I think the problem may be the store Millions of Milkshakes.

The truth is it's a ridiculous protest and while it came from hardline Islamic protesters it's still a clear waste of time. Kim Kardashian is not really a significant enough figure to merit this kind of attention. I see the scenario playing out in a manner that will affect the world landscape and it looks like this:

1. Millions of Milkshakes will likely become a strategic military stronghold.
2. Hardliners will take it over in order to express their distress.
3. Bruce Jenner will organize diplomatic talks with leaders of the opposing organization.
4. There will be a conflict needing the aid of the Seacrest/ Rob Rob alliance.
5. After 3 days there will a cease fire and finally the conflict will end.
6. * You can see all of this on the next episode of Kim International: Ass on the Hop.

The world really needs to evolve beyond a giagantic ass with little to no talent.

YOU GO HEF, FIND TRUE LOVE!

Hugh Heghfner has finally found true love at an age which is similar to that of ice and water. The Captain of Love will tie the knot with Crystal Harris who left him with his penny candy when they were engaged the first time aroud. Huch and Crystal discovered that there is love in a 60 year divide.  This is wonderful for the dirty old men in the world that are hoping for a little love.

"Thank heaven for little girs!" said Hef in a recent interview with Old Whore Mongers Daily. Okay if you don't get the tone of this entry it's simple. Hugh Hefner is not really even cool anymore. The man is more wrinkled up than a pork rind and I am pretty sure viagra combined with a sweedish pump won't help his woes.

I think it's great that Crystal Harris has decided she want's someone whose wrinkles are so deep he can create pools of old man sweat. There comes a point where you go from being a straight up cool guy to being a total idiot that looks he is desperately holding on to the 1970's. Honestly Hef you are like a fish with scales out in a chinese market, have some dignity old man.

FAIR AND KINKY HARVARD

Harvard has long stood as a the greatest pillar of higher education in the US and one of the finest in the world. I guess it's appropriate to feel flattered if you are into kinky sex since Harvard has decided to approve a club that's dedicated to kinky sex. The club is being described as a meeting place of sorts for people to discuss their interests.

It was made clear that Harvard does not necessarily support the club but it is following along with the rules and guidelines. It's kind of funny that Harvard would approve this club only because it's putting kink in the front pages of higher education. Until now kink has been associated with the lowest of the low but now even intelligent people are associated with with wips, handcuffs, chains, wax, and sex swings.

Good for you Fair Harvard teach them how the Crimson define a spanking!