TO BE AN EXTREMIST IS TO BE AN IDIOT

I don't care for extremists, they really piss me off. I can have a disagreement with a person but I don't have to insult that person as a result of our disagreement. I was called a drone today as a result of an extremist's view being totally opposite of my own. I like to consider myself a moderate individual but if there's anything I hate more than a jackass it's an extremist.

DON'T HATE THE PLAYER

I recently discovered that I have over 54 million dollars waiting for me in various parts of the world because numerous members of my family have passed on and left me their fortunes. I am currently trying to figure out what to do with this international lottery I have been so fortunate to win. I mean I could purchase the moon or stock in NASA's solar timeshare program. I always knew I was awesome but I did not realize I was a unique superstar. I am so amazing that a lady offered to give me a fully loaded BMW. The email reads as follows:

Dear Lucky Winner,

We happily announce to you the Draw (Batch #22) of BMW Online Lottery ® held on the 19 April, 2013.Your E-mail Address attached to the Ticket Number: 43566, was picked at random from our computer system. You have won a brand new 2011 Model BMW 7 Series Car and a LUMP SUM OF $ 500,000.00 (FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS)

For more information on how to claim your prize, do contact our promotions department via the email below or via telephones, and quote this FILE NO: A87/902/ EH3/ 118/ 308/032, TAG NO:098486 and Ref No: 87276/18-0 as this reference serve as the security key to your winnings, we advice that you keep the reference number to yourself.

PROMOTION DEPARTMENT.

Name: Mr. James Boyd
Email: jamesboyd001@yahoo.co.jp

NB: If you are unable to come to our Branch office in United States of America to claim your won prize, your won prize will be send to your door step through courier servive.

Congratulations!

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Clara Davidson.
Online Coordinator
BMW Lottery Promo.

I have decided that I want my BMW left hanging on the door knob because I am amazing. I will also be given 500,000 United States dollars that I will promptly spend on dinner plates signed by international superstar Pitbull, DALE! I know that people are jealous because all I have to do is give my social security number, bank account, and address. Yes I am awesome because that is all I have to do in order to reap the benefits of hard work. So far I have had the privilege of meeting several prominent Nigerian bankers that have assured me that my information will be kept confidential and my details private. The meetings have been held in the private and secure setting of a custom yahoo chat room and I am proud to announce that these gentlemen have agreed to come visit me when I am incorporating my company known as FERAL INDUSTRIES LLC. Please try to keep your hatred and jealousy to yourself as I am a very important and well know figure in the world of Nigerian investment banking and I need no negativity.

THE EVOLUTION OF THE IM

I remember when AOL IM was the only game in town. In those days, not so long ago, the conversation was started by the iconic magic sounding pixie dust bit. I remember the conversations were like meat market exchanges between horny tweeners and promiscuous housewives. I shall now provide an example of said exchanges:

Tweener: Hey!

Slutty Lady: Hi!

Tweener: How are you?

Slutty Lady: Good.

Tweener: What are you doing?

Slutty Lady: A/S/L

Tweener: 35/M/ Manhattan

At this point you knew the conversation was heading to some sort of exchange that included sand paper and bodily fluids coupled with some manner of Chinese Water Torture. The one thing that always stuck out was how you didn't always know the lingo and so, in a way, you had to coax it out of the person in order to understand what they were saying. The following is a sample of said situation:

Person 1: So are you horny? LOL

Person 2: Um yeah LOL

Person 1: Lol

Person 2: Hahahaha

Person 1: Yes!

Person 2: LO

Person 1: ???

Person 2: Like LOL.

Person 1: So laughing out?

Person 2: Yes!!!!!

Person 1: But not loud?

Person 2: YES!!!! LOL

At this point during the conversation you knew something and would go on to use it. Sometimes vulnerability would rear in asking the meaning of something like A/S/L. When you knew the lingo it was like sitting at the permanently reserved cool kids lunch table in elementary and middle school. There was always that moment when you ran into someone that would pull the pseudo intellect to really smack you across the emotional face. It was always some moment that made you question the cyber cred you had as an online player.

Now that Skype, Messenger, Yahoo!, and Gmail chat have a share of the IM market there seems to be new lingo to figure out such as:

FML
LMAO
LMFAO
IDK
TTYL

This type of lingo seems to be more in tune with today's misguided and less productive youth and also a lot easier to figure out. I am not really a fan of all this BS but I do find its evolution to be quite entertaining and let's face it society is in some sort of vacuum. Why not study incorrect and somehow acceptable abbreviations of words?