BIEBER, BRAZIL, AND THE CONVERSATION

The big news over the last week have centered on the Justin Bieber escapade in Brazil. Bieber was taped sleeping by a "girl" that was "visiting" him. I personally think that Justin is looking for a mother figure because this girl looks like she's got some serious miles on her. I can only imagine what a conversation between them was like.

Justin: Sup girl?

Tati: I have fever in the bieber.

Justin: I'm sad yo'

Tati: I make you happy.

Justin: Yo baby, do something for me.

Tati: Yes?

Justin: Read me a story yo'

Tati: ???

Justin: I like the three bears yo'

Tati: You want I suck you?

Justin: I suck my thumb yo'

Tati: I do nice for you.

Justin: Obrigado bitch.

I think Justin is a sad little clown that wants to get laid and hear fairy tales and that's okay, you only live once. Good boy Justin, you get your lady to tell you stories and whatnot.

ONE IS OLD AND HORNY, THE OTHER IS STUPID AND ALSO HORNY............I SMELL SERIES

I guess Suzanne Somers is a horny lady and that's a good thing. Suzanne stated that she has sex two to three times a day. I think it's wonderful that Suzanne likes sex at age 66. Sex is a wonderful thing and if people had more sex there would be much less war. After her revelation that she loves to give tang to her husband she proceeded to slam Miley Cyrus' claim that sex dies after 40.

What kind of pisses me off about this is that Miley Cyrus is a dumb little whore that knows nothing about life and has no business talking about sex after 40. If Miley is giving it up to anyone that will take it and loving it, that's her business. Where I'm angry at Suzanne Summers is that statement of " I admire what she's doing."

What is it that Suzanne admires? The overly blatant use of sexuality just so that she can get some attention? I'm not really sure that particular trait has any admirability. The fact of the matter is Miley Cyrus can sing and she has an abundance of talent that doesn't call for her to show everyone how well she can accommodate a penis. Miley gets blasted by names like Annie Lennox and Sinead O'Connor because her talent is being obscured by her prostitute like demeanor.

I think Miley and Suzanne should do a series where they........never mind, too easy.

BIEBER FEEVER GONE TOO FAR

Worry not Bieber fans as your idol is still the source of much conversation even amongst depraved killers. I must say Bieber Fever has really gone beyond being an STD you get by listening to this generation's version of Paul Anka (google it). I say this because Justin Bieber was the target of a murder plot by some convicts in Las Cruces New Mexico.

To make a long story short I guess one of the killers has a tattoo of the icon on his leg. To me this is an example of Bieber Fever gone too far. Part of the plot was to go ahead and castrate Bieber and his bodyguard Rufus T. Firefly. I wonder if the killers were going to auction the members on ebay. I learned of Bieber Feever while watching Key of Awesome's educational youtube spot on it.

I was not aware of the fact that Bieber Fever could go this far but thank heavens that our idol of idols is safe. Now I say let's move on to more important matters and figure out how the Gangnam Style dude is part of plot to destroy the world through incredibly lame music and horrific dancing.

UNDERSTAND WHAT IS ONE HIT VERSUS MULTIPLE

This particular entry is not really about a societally relevant topic but it's one that makes me laugh and even cry a little bit inside. I love 80's music but I hate the term one hit wonder because I think it's really used improperly. Let me go ahead and explain what it is I mean and where I am headed.

VH1 constantly used to air specials about one hit wonders and the usual suspects showed up. The Buggles, Haircut 100, Bow Wow Wow, and yes the legendary Taco. To me al of that made sense because it's not like Taco had a smash follow up to "Putting on the Ritz." The truth is that those were all fun one off songs that everyone could enjoy in a nice 80's disco with a lot of flashy lights and mega amounts of gnarly cocaine in the back room. I always had a massive problem with one addition and that was Gary Numan.

What exactly made Gary Numan a one hit wonder? The song cars is apparently the culprit here. I have an issue when you consider that three years before Gary Numan and the Tubeway Army had a hit with are friends electric and were bringing a dark and edgy style music to the world. The songs like " Are Friends Electric" and "Down in the Park" were new and very innovative.

While none of this is really relevant today it is a part of what shaped real music and switched tastes from genres like producer influenced disco to sound and meaning driven styles of music. I would not consider any of that punk music but still it meant something and it's nice to get it right.