Someone has to be a source of entertainment so why not let it be the resident lush? I love the resident lush because usually he or she has some amazing and incongruent story that has no end and no real beginning. The following is an example:
LUSH: You kno what?
Victim: What?
LUSH: I think that, wooooo
Victim: What?
LUSH: Purple Rain was a great work of Orsinton--
Victim: Prince?
LUSH: Listen, why won't you?
Victim: Yes?
LUSH: The depth of a chubby hot dog like--
Victim: Don't even finish that.
LUSH: It rains (crying) and I'm so lonely because the donkeys are horny
At this point the conversation degenerates into talks of donkey sex and what not. There is the lush who suffers and eats poorly as evidenced in the picture below.
Legendary talentless hack David Hasselhoff showcased his ability to makes a mess while rambling incoherent nothings to his little bitch of a daughter. The Hasselhoff clip was extremely entertaining because it showed the vulnerable side of the legendary Michael Knight.
There is nothing wrong with being drunk and a jackass because the world needs one of everything. Consider yourself the platypus in Noah's Ark.
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