WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CANDY?

I wonder what happened to halloween, I was talking to a colleague about how not so long ago I was a at a party and these kids showed up without costumes, just backpacks for the purpose of collecting candy. The kids just showed up and had this attitude of entitlement, which made me angry and it made the alcohol I consumed almost boil over. Still I wonder what happened to our traditions.

Halloween is the slutty costume stop, where fantasies leave the bedroom and creativity hits the graveyard. I don't mind the slutty costumes because they are a form of eye candy, and halloween is about getting candy. I do still feel like we lost something, halloween is not so much about the tradition of dressing up and knocking on doors anymore. I guess I may just be going through a " Those were the days" phase.

Oh well, happy slutty halloween to everyone, may the alcohol, weed, and candy be plentiful to all.

IT'S OKAY TO BE DRUNK AND A JACKASS

Someone has to be a source of entertainment so why not let it be the resident lush? I love the resident lush because usually he or she has some amazing and incongruent story that has no end and no real beginning. The following is an example:

LUSH: You kno what?

Victim: What?

LUSH: I think that, wooooo

Victim: What?

LUSH: Purple Rain was a great work of Orsinton--

Victim: Prince?

LUSH: Listen, why won't you?

Victim: Yes?

LUSH: The depth of a chubby hot dog like--

Victim: Don't even finish that.

LUSH: It rains (crying) and I'm so lonely because the donkeys are horny

At this point the conversation degenerates into talks of donkey sex and what not. There is the lush who suffers and eats poorly as evidenced in the picture below.

Legendary talentless hack David Hasselhoff showcased his ability to makes a mess while rambling incoherent nothings to his little bitch of a daughter. The Hasselhoff clip was extremely entertaining because it showed the vulnerable side of the legendary Michael Knight.

There is nothing wrong with being drunk and a jackass because the world needs one of everything. Consider yourself the platypus in Noah's Ark.