IF YOU GET SANCTIMONIOUS I WILL STEP ON YOUR SOUL

I have always respected the right of individuals to chose their own spiritual paths. To me it doesn't matter if you are a devout christian, a muslim, an atheist, or an agnostic who does not fully comprehend the meaning of that particular word. The fact is we are members of a society where it is our right to chose what we believe in. I do draw the line when those beliefs cross a spot labeled "DANGER."

I am sure by this point you are wondering what that spot may be. I will take this time to explain that particular spot in some detail. I do not really respect the right of a person to assume that they can sit on a moral high ground on the basis of their own spiritual beliefs. The fact of the matter is that if I chose to eat artery clogging meats and you love to eat vegetables it does not mean you are apt to judge me.

People have to nasty habit of thinking that once they open up some sort of "holy" book and begin reading it like a trained parrot they are suddenly exempt of past stupidity and actions. It seems like people that discover their own fancy, especially those that "find" God, really love to talk and point holly fingers. I want to make a plea for the sake of those beings, do not make that mistake.

While we live in this wonderful society of spiritual freedom we also live in a society where it is my right to tell you what I think and in the process crush the core of your soul if necessary. My thing is this, I will listen to you while at the same time formulating an eloquent way to crush your argument and make you question yourself. A former prostitute or whore monger can quote the bible from cover to cover and I can quote life's reality.

I personally can question the creation and record keeping practices that made the bible the "book of record." I think that it's a valid question to ask " How was this record kept and compiled over a period of nearly 2000 years?" I am not revealing anything about my own beliefs but I am making the point that no one likes being given unrequested and unnecessary sermons . I think it's a sad thing that sermons, advice, and judgement all come from absolution of personal torment.

The fact is that we all have flaws in this world. To quote the great Lance Armstrong " I am a flawed character." I will conclude by stating that while I am flawed I am also honest enough and smart enough to see through thin veils and tear them up like a vicious cat attempting to wrangle a mouse.

SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT AND OTHER TIMES YOU ARE LANCE ARMSTRONG

I don't quite understand Lance Armstrong in fact I can safely say I don't get him at all. For several years he sat in a moral high ground while lying about doping. Now after years of lying to the world he comes clean, loses his glory, and cries like a bitch in order to draw more attention to himself. What annoys me about this guy is that he helped propagate a stupid wrist band movement with his "Livestrong" foundation which was in some ways based on a lie about being a star monorchid cyclist. During a recent interview he called himself a "flawed character," no shit Lance there is no perfect character so that was not a new revelation.

Lance's way of apologizing was by indirectly saying that had he not returned to the sport he wouldn't have been caught. Lance Armstrong doesn't seem to have any regrets about his behavior but the problem with that is that by acting like it's no biggie he is downplaying the true nature of his lies. In many ways Armstrong is slapping America, the sport of cycling, and every follower he ever had right in the face. Okay Armstrong is a cancer survivor but that doesn't make him any better than people that have battled cancer under worst conditions for longer and lived.

So what if Armstrong admits to being flawed? I think it's overly arrogant on his part to come out and basically cover everyone involved and not make any real apologies for that type of behavior. Considering the image of the "ugly" American in France it's beyond sad and screwed up that this guy stay so arrogant about what he did. Daniel Baal,who was the President of the French Cycling Federation, said the following about Armstrong:

"He says that it is about professionalism, that it is part of the job to dope. This is unbelievable, unacceptable," Baal told the AP. "He knowingly broke these rules. And to say (what he said) is to once again make a fool of the other cyclists."

So once again the "ugly" American is ridiculed not because of the actions of a multitude but because of the actions of one stinking cheater who could not tolerate being second best. To be honest I did not expect better from this guy because he was always an arrogant ass that wanted to make himself look like a golden idol when truthfully he was a lying shit. Everyone is skeptical and rightfully so because the guy is a liar and he proved the French right, and every doubter that he ever had was validated. 

I for one say retire into obscurity you fucking cheater no one really cares for a truth that came too late in the game to really make any difference. 

FUCK THE DUCK LIPS

I have heard the term Duck Lips many times and I decided to research it. The Urban Dictionary provided me with some definitions such as "The face used by teens in many Facebook pictures." I decided to look into the matter a little further by researching duck lips through the google image file. The duck lips are an epidemic of the ignorant tweener that feels it's a seductive look.

What exactly created that look? Well if you look around and see pictures of old time movie stars you realize that they began this particular epidemic. The duck lips went unnoticed for years while gaining speed from the 1950's through the 1980's then slowly they became the staple of every model wannabe. 

As of today the duck lips are something that everyone does to draw attention and who is to blame?

Social Media is the culprit that is to blame for the proliferation of the duck lip. Every ugly SOB does that and a good question is why? Ducks are not at all sexy and duck lips are not at all seductive. I think the Duck Lip is vital yet silent part of the social media revolution. I say let's do something about this now people. 

Let us start an anti duck lip movement that revolves around the shutting down of every Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, TOUT, and so forth of the duck lip fools. Let's do it people let's revolutionize the world by leaving the duck lips on the ducks. 

THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION, WHERE GUILT IS ALWAYS CERTAIN

So did the Wag really do it? The answer to that question is simple. It doesn't matter if Robert Wagner is as innocent as a member of the Vienna Boys Choir as he has been found guilty in the court of public opinion. If you are having problems following this article let me explain what I mean. Robert Wagner is still considered a suspect in the drowning death of his wife Natalie Wood according to the court of public opinion.

The fact is that even the police has stated that Robert Wagner is not a person of interest in the newly re opened investigation into Natalie Wood's accidental drowning. For years people have suspected Wagner because as the story goes there was alcohol, their were arguments, and in the end there were allegations that pointed a finger in Wagner's direction.

At this point it has been nearly 32 years since Natalie Wood died and it doesn't matter if Wagner had something to do with it or not. The fact is that with the time that has elapsed it is impossible to establish a credible case. There is no DNA to speak of and given the fact that there was alcohol involved any allegation can be called into question.

Robert Wagner is an 82 year old man who at the time of Natalie Wood's was in the prime of his career. The fact is that if he did have something to do with her death he covered it well enough to where now it doesn't matter. Sometimes justice is too blind and it's not the court system that takes care of it but rather the good and reliable court of public opinion.

DEAR ABBY THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

Pauline Phillips is someone you may not have known about but Dear Abby is someone we all knew and knew well. Phillips created the pseudonym when she came up with the advice column Dear Abby which has been a part of the American news paper landscape for over 56 years with a space in 1400 papers as well as a readership of 110 million strong. Dear Abby was all about simple answers to complex problems.

The column was like having a therapist for the price of a stamp. Often times the answers that people sought out were the answers that were best provided by a clear mind with enough common sense and practicality to step back and examine a situation carefully. Out of the black and white era known as the 1950's Dear Abby was the only component that evolved without losing class.

Dear Abby progressed from giving advice about the pot roast to advice about following your beliefs, sex, aids, family and so much more. While the column remains the original article now goes on to a place known as certain immortality. The person, Pauline Phillips, goes on to a pantheon of greatness that is dictated by what she did for others rather than for herself.

Pauline Phillips had Alzheimer's desease which eventually forced her retirement. Phillips was the likely donor of 10 million dollars to the Mayo clinic specifically for the purpose of Alzheimer's research. The fact is that Phillips stayed behind Dear Abby choosing to provide others with advice and attempting to make a difference in the lives she touched rather than trying to gain a measure of glory for herself.

Dear Abby:

Thank you for the memories, go peacefully on your new journey and worry not as what you did here shall stand the test of time.

THE MORE SOCIAL MEDIA GROWS THE MORE THE WORLD SHRINKS

As I look back over the last 12 years since I became a card carrying member of the previous century I must say I am surprised at how the world has shrunk. It seems that as technology and ways to connect with people grew it became a lot easier to know other parts of the world without real effort. The world became smaller and today it's as common to talk to someone in South Africa or Indonesia as it is the person next door. Social Media my dear friend you are one tricky whore for sure.

I don't subscribe to the ideas behind big brother simply because I refuse to live in fear. If someone wants to know about me they will know about me. When I look at my Facebook, Twitter, and Google I realize that Social Media is the kind of advent that was thought of in literary works such as 1984, Brave New World, and We. The familiarity with strangers that was thought of as something radical and impossible is normal today. A heightened and sometimes frightening level of communication that gives us unparalleled access into one another's lives is the norm.

The world is as small as it looks on television only now we don't really need to look at it in physical terms. Today we kill distance with the left click of the trusty mouse. I remember when computers were something of a luxury. Today a cell phone with net access, a laptop in a WiFi hotspot, and a social media account are all a necessity. Yes Social Media is growing and the world is shrinking, especially when you consider that a person's Social Media feeds can take them to places that they never expected.

The fact is that if you don't meet a person online you are not normal. If you don't make friends with someone that lives 8,000 miles away from you then you are considered socially awkward. A person's popularity and charisma is now defined as their "clout" and ability to land friends or followers. While this planet has an estimate of nearly 7 billion inhabitants it's not unreal to think that we are all connected in some six degrees of Kevin Bacon Social Media way.

We may not be living in the age of big brother but perhaps we are living in the age of second cousin. Yes it's true, this is in fact a very small world and it gets smaller every day.

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DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU TRAVEL

The recent seizure of 18 heads at O'Hare airport in Chicago is kind of funny to me. The heads did not belong to victims of crimes rather they were being shipped to Chicago for anatomical research purposes. The fact that this particular development seemed to spur some sort of controversy is rather funny to me in the sense that it's one of those things that would only take place in a film.

The funny thing is that apparently this type of thing happens often and are really rather routine. I can't imagine going into an airport and watching someone drop a bag full of skulls only to diffuse the situation by saying: " It's okay, it's only an experiment." I love the fact that a slightly large container of shaving cream is scrutinized as a possible terrorist attack in the happening and skulls travel freely racking up those frequent flyer world traveler miles.

I guess this particular happening gives new meaning to "Don't lose your head when traveling." This tale has a happy ending as the heads were sent back to rome for cremation. I do believe in happily ever after even if it is a burning skull in Rome.