WHEN IT'S OVER

Marriage is one of those lifetime propositions that seems to work less and less now a days. I think that part of the reason why marriages fail is because people would rather move on than stick around and grow apart. I think part of this is due t to the fact that a lot of 50 year marriages are made up of people who were enemies and didn't really know it. You can tell by just looking that a couple is comprised of two negative halves, especially when the husband looks like he wants to fade away.

I think that when marriages are over, people don't have to hate one another. Life is too short for hatred and pettiness. I think if the wife gets it al she should be happy, the friends should shut the fuck up, and the kiddies should consider themselves lucky. If the parents, assuming there are kids, love the kids and are on the same page then let's all have a dinner.

I think that when it's over, if it's over, it should be in a civilized manner. I pride myself in the fact that my current state is one of tremendous civility. I think the whole when it's over thing should be done with civility. I do have to say that if there are extenuating circumstances there is a good chance that there will be some sort of bloodshed.

THE MORNING AFTER

You ever get that "holly shit feeling" after you connect with a person in an intimate way? To me that is the most hilarious thing in the world, that "oh shit, what did I do?" feeling. I have never gotten that particular feeling because I've never done the hookup thing at any point in my life. I do know people that have done that and it's funny as hell. The facial expressions alone are incredible even after the fact. The big wide eyed look that say " I don't know what I did but I know it wasn't good at all." That look is usually coupled with a question of whether or not someone is pregnant and if there is some manner of herpes involved.

Once the initial shock wears off you wonder what you did and that's even funnier. The questions are usually "Okay so I was drinking and then what?" Then you wonder if your parents know and you wonder what your friends know and who said what to who. The closest I have ever come to that feeling is getting so drunk at one party that I bit walls and made animal noises. I was told that I kicked over a kitty litter box and made a kitty litter sculpture. I think it's a wonderful thing that the cat had yet to establish his territory in said when I decided to kicked the box.

As far as the hookup goes there is that worry that you were left with some sort of dirty funk. The morning after is one of life's wonders so respect it and enjoy it. The morning after happens to almost everyone so please don't hate yourself when you reek of sex and shame.