There was a prediction in the Mayan Calendar that the world would end in 12/21/2013. This prediction was laughed at by many as the Mayans were unable to avoid their own demise. The Mayan Calendar did actually get some predictions about wars and what not correctly. Alas I must confess that they were right about the end of the world but they did not count on the fact that I would know how to save the world and each of the world's inhabitants.
At around midnight on 12/21 I saw something odd in the sky. Upon further investigation I noticed it was a flying saucer. I kid you not loyal readers I saw a flying saucer. I decided to follow it and I witnessed it land, out of it stepped a couple of weird little men wearing Tommy Bahama shorts and shirts. I automatically decided to follow them as they walked speaking an odd and kind of squeaky language made up of clicks and what have you.
It was a cold and festive night in the streets of Amsterdam and as I tailed them I noticed they stepped into the red light district. I realized they thought that the world was run by prostitutes. I thought that in a way they were right because all politicians are prostitutes in some respect. The weird litle men continued to knock on the doors of hookers in order to have a leadership summit.
I tailed them right into a cafe designed for those that indulge in the consumption of vast quantities of cannabis. I realized this could be either dangerous or really good. I decided to go ahead and enter the cafe and ask the attendant to provide them with several large brownies and a couple of large special cigarettes. The little men consumed said items with voracious desire and seemed to lose a great deal of orientation. The men went back to knock on the red light window and meet with the "leader." I made sure they were provided for by paying a substantial amount of money to ensure myself enough time to check their ship.
I went to the ship and noticed some missiles designed to destroy planets and horrified tried to disarm them. I knew that I could make this happen since the instruction manual was in English, Dutch, French, Japanese, and some backwoods Patua so I was lucky. I disarmed the missiles which looked an awful lot like nerf missiles. I went back to the red light district to check on the little men.
In fron of the door I saw a puddle of alien remains and realized that the little men were deathly allergic to hooker juice and weed. I know that there is a distinct possibility that at least 40% of this story may well be a mental fabrication while 30% maybe conjecture and another 30% maybe a total lie. The point is I saved the world in some way my friends.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
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