WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE LAST 8?

I know the world will not end on 2012, I do feel certain anyway that it will not happen. The Mayan Calendar states that it will happen on 12/21/12. I do wonder though what would happen if there were only 8 days left. I have my list and it's kind of interesting so here goes:

DAY 1: I would wake up and drive to Vegas where I would immediately hit every single Càssino in the strip only to get the numbers of every single cocktail waitress. I would also eat at least five popsicles while skydiving with the flying Elvises.

DAY 2: I would want to go ahead and find a place full of monks where I would convince said monks to go to a whorehouse of their chosing. I would engage in deadly combat with a gator and lastly I would buy several betta fish in order to establish a betta fish MMA league, for the shorties!

DAY 3: I would take a break from my crazy days in order to prank call the Vatican and aske them if they have Roberto Calvi in a can. I would also call to commission a freemason ring just because they look cool.

DAY 4: I would travel to Graceland and steal the fabled peacock jumpsuit simply because I want to see how much tail I can get with one of the king's jumpsuit's.

DAY 5: I would go hot air ballooning in a no fly zone. This is self explanatory because it just is. If I survive this whole deal I shall blog about it the very same day in order to share it with the blog world. Oh my blog!

DAY 6: I would take an online pastor course while going on a thorough investigation covering John McAfee's life. I would go ahead and attend a Barry Manilow concert in order to show him I fear him not.

DAY 7: I will find a Proctologist and give him the beating of a lifetime because I can. I would call NBC to pitch my series about a talking tampoon with a detective agency called Tampington Steele.

DAY 8: I will rest, hey it was good enough for you know who. Life will be over and a new civilization will be started called the sexy time dancer civilization as dreamt up by L. Ron Hubbard!

None of these things will happen because on the 22nd of December I will wake up, have breakfast, and enjoy the beauty of life as we all should.