Fuck you Interviewer

So I am sure you are wondering why such a harsh tittle for a blog and if you will allow me the courtesy of a read I will gladly elaborate. I hate interviewers as a general rule of thumb because they are idiots. I know it sounds like a generalization but follow my logic on this.

In most job descriptions they say that you need to have a personality that needs to bleed from your teeth. Your smile has to be such that the person must by blinded by your teeth's mother of pearl finish. What I think is funny about this whole mess is that usually the person interviewing you has zero personality. When they ask you questions they don't even bother to make eye contact and top of that their questions are barely audible. I love the fact that the questions they ask are the same no matter the interview. I have decided to make a list in order to illustrate and it reads as follows:

1. Give me an example of a time in which you took a leadership role
2. Give me an example of a time you made a mistake and had to correct it
3. What is your biggest strength?
4. What is your biggest weakness?
5. What are your hobbies?
6. Who do you look up to the most?
7. What is your biggest accomplishment? 
8. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
9. Have you ever tipped a cow on its side? (Just checking to see if you are paying attention) 

I remember I was at an interview with the William Morris Agency and the guy interviewing me was looking down at his desk making hand motions likened to those of someone with a nervous condition. Never go into an interview with any sort of doubt or feeling of desperation. I recommend you go with head high and eyes level because chances are the idiot asking the questions is nothing more than an awkward simpleton with a tight rod up the ass.