BY MORODER

I am a huge fan of classic techno and house, it was a producer's medium. When you think back to what started certain styles you usually think of specific individuals. Soul Makossa started disco and funk and paved the way for serious studio experimentation. When you think of synthesizer driven disco and techno driven application one man comes to mind, Giorgio Morder. Moroder produced every memorable Donna Summer hit like I feel love and Love to love you baby. Moroder is someone that became known primarily for his ability to produce new robotic sounds, in stark contrast to his early bubble gum pop hits. Moroder was a singer and not someone so memorable that people would think of him as a future great.

Moroder's late 70's work coupled with his incredibly popular 80's soundtracks made him a rock star, so did his exile from music for an untold period of time. You move the clock forward some 20 years and he old man is back, commanding the respect of a new generation of DJs, and techno bands such as Daft Punk. Moroder is the king of techno, he is the guy that really started it all. Now you have a crop of shit DJs that want to put themselves in that league when what they play is crap not fit for elevators.

I was listening to work by guys with stupid names like Marcelo something or other and Van or some shit like that. To me 50 somethings that have staple clubs are nothing more than glorified losers that can't really go beyond the coke head club circuit and the extacy pill corners. Moroder is one and no one can really come close. Moroder is the original outer space DJ and I'm glad that he is here once more. I think that the Giorgio by Moroder track in the Daft Punk album is a testament to Moroder's greatness.

Long live the legend and may he continue to show everyone how it's done.

NAPOLEON BATTLES TONY MONTANA: THE COKE HEAD BONANZA

I have heard it said that Napoleon was a coke head. While I don't think  shall ever get any real confirmation on that, it would not surprise me. Napoleon was like Tony Montana, crazy for power and full hubris. Something tells me that Napoleon was the kind of guy that would grease himself up after coking himself up, and attack some house girl. I know this sounds far fetched but if the vatican has been know to have the hidden orgy here and there, why not? Napoleon looked like a little sex freak anyway.

I can imagine a talk between Napoleon and Tony Montana, it would be something like this:

TM: Hey man, you listen to me you little fucking cucaracha

NB: La merde

TM: I got the yayo you mother fucker

NB: Je suis le grande fromage

TM: We do it my way now you little maricon de mierda shit

NB: Je ne parle pas la merde

TM: I fuck you up Im Tony Montana fucking chata

NB: Je aime les vagin et les pénis

TM: I kill you, you want war mother fucker

NB: Je suis un grand cocaïnomane bisexuels

I am sure the end result would be a fabulous scene that would mix Waterloo with the final battle of Tony Montana up in Coconut Grove. I don't find Napoleon so fascinating simply because he was stupid enough to fight beyond his prime. If Napoleon were alive today he would probably be a member of the tea party. It's great to mix fiction along with historical inaccuracy because it provides a lot of material, perhaps I'll write a story about Napoleon in present time.

WHY DEALERS ARE SO FUCKING PATHETIC

There is nothing in this world more pathetic to me than a drug dealer. To me a drug dealer is the lowest form of life second only to pedophiles. I write this because I can and I feel like it. It's your choice to stop reading now or continue on. Frankly I hate the "player" wannabe idiots in the drug trade because truthfully their ignorance is beyond reproach.

Let me start with an experience I had in the bathroom of a very nice rooftop club. I was in the bathroom and as I got to the sink to wash my hands I saw this kid who seemed well to do trying to deal a little something to another patron because his tab was more than he could afford. I am glad I was not drunk because I would have likely laughed out loud at the pitiful situation. I left the bathroom quickly and decided to turn a blind eye because frankly I am no one's savior.

To me these little street shit punks that think they are special and tough are a joke. I myself do not come from the street nor do I pretend to have gangster credibility but frankly I don't need it. The truth of the matter is it does not matter who you are or the level you are in you will get caught. Pablo Escobar the glorified errand boy of the Ochoa Family went like a ton of bricks on an incline and he actually declared war on the government of Colombia and built his own prison. The fact is that the gaudy watches and chains mean very little when you are headed nowhere rapidly.

I hate to hear the bullshit about "I had no other choice" when you see how many people come from the worst environments and go on to successful and productive lives.  There is a choice between being practical and a good person and being a total idiot. Unfortunately the glorification of gangster figures in film has not helped the problem as there are millions of Tony Montana wannabes in this country alone.

The fact is that people create and glorify ideals that don't have room in society but nevertheless are jammed in anyway. Yes there are issues like environment, personality, behavior, and psychological profiles but none of that changes the fact that drug dealers and the people around them are simply pathetic.