THE CRAZY BITCH STRIKES AGAIN

For every one good thing about social media there are about a million bad things. Social Media has everything from bad youtube videos, to internet MEMES, to stalkers, to rampant death rumors. My favorite is the crazy stalker people. Usually stalkers are sex crazed morons that have never had a girlfriend and want some cyber love. Occasionally a crazy bitch will stalk you and that's when it gets fun.

You may be asking yourself how I know about this and I am going to answer. I have had a crazy bitch stalking me for what seems like an eternity. The funny thing is that her sophomoric and ridiculous behavior is a great example of someone that doesn't really know about stalking. This crazy banshee from the depths of hell loves to say she has died, given birth to my child, and been involved with me for half a decade. I guess being a pathetic soul takes its toll on a crazy bitch.

I have gotten so many blocked messages on my Facebook that at this point I am certain I could write a small book with the title Crazy Bitch and the Guide to Stalking. I don't like the notion of being stalked but at the same time it's sort of funny that I am being stalked by a person that seems to be highly limited in her material. The last message I got from this person was under two fake profiles and both messages stated she had passed away and I was going to pay.

I am sure that if I let my guard down I will likely be stabbed by a host of toothpicks and be forced to ingest a lethal dose of Anacin. I don't take this seriously because life is too short to actually give a crap about crazy,pathetic, feeble minded people with nothing better to do in life.

VATICAN HOUSE PARTY!

It's official, the Pope is no longer in the house. Yesterday was the Pontiff's last day as the one and only Holy Leader of the Catholic Church. After a near eight year papacy the lead Catholic of the free world walked away with what I would assume is a fairly decent 401k and residency plan that will likely include a sweet apartment located somewhere in Vatican City. I can imagine that the Pope was given an intimate house party in order to say goodbye to him.

I imagine that the Pope probably drank some fine wine and ate some of the very best cheese and Genoa Salami sliced to perfection for even the for the most finicky of eaters. I can imagine some of the conversations had at said party between the Pope and say, a Cardinal.

The following is a proposed transcript of said conversation between the Pope and Cardinal #1:

Pope: This is some fine salami!

Cardinal #1: Only the best your eminency.

Pope: So anyone coming out to the private planking ceremony at the holy bannister?

Cardinal #1: Yes, in fact Father Alberto confirmed he is coming.

Pope: Ah, Alberto is a player.

Cardinal# 1: He has a hottie on his arm.

Pope: Pass me some more of the salami and a little more of that Don Melchor.

Cardinal# 1: Of course your eminency.

Pope: Did you catch the Oscars?

Cardinal #1: No your eminency.

Pope: That Anne Hathaway has lovely boobies.

Cardinal #1: Yes?

Pope: I did not like her choice of dress but I shall forgive her if she performs the Harlem Shake.

Cardinal #1: What?

Pope: The Harlem Shake, hot dance.

Cardinal #1: Any thoughts for a replacement suggestion?

Pope: Not sure, I was going to suggest Justin Bieber in order to appeal to both the 18 to 34 demographic and the Cardinal Law division.

Cardinal#1: What, who is this Bieber?

Pope: He is a lot like Anne Hathaway in that he is perky, short haired, and hateful.

Cardinal# 1: What about a latin Pope?

Pope: I am thinking Ricky Martin would be a good choice.

Cardinal # 1: Your Eminence please this is serious.

Pope: Fuck it man I am gone, I have to tend to my farmville and I have to  tweet some pictures of my new place. I also have to attend the concert of my lifelong dear friend Tom Flack, he just released a hit single that is number one in over 40 countries where the radio has yet to be invented.

Yes I am making light of all of this because while I myself am a Catholic I can safely say that the Church has been steadily losing its moral standing for years and has done little in order to change it. How can an institution with so many hidden skeletons provide a moral compass when it doesn't really have one itself? I am not trying to be controversial but the truth of the matter is that faith and spirituality reside in the individual and not so much on outdated once governmental doctrines outlined by people as human as you and me.

Perhaps I am just jaded but hey that is what's great about living in a free country and a world society that for the most part allows a form of democracy to prevail. I say believe and be led by what your heart and soul tell you is the right way to go.