WHY I ALWAYS HATED MILLI VANILLI

I never liked Milli Vanilli because I honestly could not understand how to German dudes could sound like they came from the depths of Motown. I remember when these dudes first burst on the scene everyone was going crazy. I was only ten in 89' when these guys burst on the scene and I just did not like them. All the girls went crazy for them and everyone wanted to sound like them but even back then I just got the feel that something was off about them.

The dudes were no doubt talented but that soul sound was just not right by any stretch of the imagination. Then I remember the big scandal where they had to return their grammy. As time passed and the story of Milli Vanilli took on a different shape altogether I felt bad for the two of them and I realized why I hated them. I was let down by the fact that they went along with a lie and allowed everyone to believe they were something that they really weren't.

I don't think about it now but back then it just bothered me that these two guys got a spot that they did not earn in any way shape or form. The guys could dance and the one that lived could actually sing. I think they would have been huge if they had actually been willing to put in the work required. I think Rob Pilatus maybe alive today if the whole Milli Vanilli thing hadn't happened. I guess this is what happens when two hapless idiots are given a golden key that they don't know how to manage. It's better to work and be ambitious than to be ambitious and totally ignorant.

VATICAN HOUSE PARTY!

It's official, the Pope is no longer in the house. Yesterday was the Pontiff's last day as the one and only Holy Leader of the Catholic Church. After a near eight year papacy the lead Catholic of the free world walked away with what I would assume is a fairly decent 401k and residency plan that will likely include a sweet apartment located somewhere in Vatican City. I can imagine that the Pope was given an intimate house party in order to say goodbye to him.

I imagine that the Pope probably drank some fine wine and ate some of the very best cheese and Genoa Salami sliced to perfection for even the for the most finicky of eaters. I can imagine some of the conversations had at said party between the Pope and say, a Cardinal.

The following is a proposed transcript of said conversation between the Pope and Cardinal #1:

Pope: This is some fine salami!

Cardinal #1: Only the best your eminency.

Pope: So anyone coming out to the private planking ceremony at the holy bannister?

Cardinal #1: Yes, in fact Father Alberto confirmed he is coming.

Pope: Ah, Alberto is a player.

Cardinal# 1: He has a hottie on his arm.

Pope: Pass me some more of the salami and a little more of that Don Melchor.

Cardinal# 1: Of course your eminency.

Pope: Did you catch the Oscars?

Cardinal #1: No your eminency.

Pope: That Anne Hathaway has lovely boobies.

Cardinal #1: Yes?

Pope: I did not like her choice of dress but I shall forgive her if she performs the Harlem Shake.

Cardinal #1: What?

Pope: The Harlem Shake, hot dance.

Cardinal #1: Any thoughts for a replacement suggestion?

Pope: Not sure, I was going to suggest Justin Bieber in order to appeal to both the 18 to 34 demographic and the Cardinal Law division.

Cardinal#1: What, who is this Bieber?

Pope: He is a lot like Anne Hathaway in that he is perky, short haired, and hateful.

Cardinal# 1: What about a latin Pope?

Pope: I am thinking Ricky Martin would be a good choice.

Cardinal # 1: Your Eminence please this is serious.

Pope: Fuck it man I am gone, I have to tend to my farmville and I have to  tweet some pictures of my new place. I also have to attend the concert of my lifelong dear friend Tom Flack, he just released a hit single that is number one in over 40 countries where the radio has yet to be invented.

Yes I am making light of all of this because while I myself am a Catholic I can safely say that the Church has been steadily losing its moral standing for years and has done little in order to change it. How can an institution with so many hidden skeletons provide a moral compass when it doesn't really have one itself? I am not trying to be controversial but the truth of the matter is that faith and spirituality reside in the individual and not so much on outdated once governmental doctrines outlined by people as human as you and me.

Perhaps I am just jaded but hey that is what's great about living in a free country and a world society that for the most part allows a form of democracy to prevail. I say believe and be led by what your heart and soul tell you is the right way to go.