THE ART OF THE UNUSUAL NAME

Every country in the world has its popular names. Here in the states you have Matthew, James, Michael, and so on. There is a true art in making your kid's name something no one's ever heard and making it cool. Let's assume you have a boy and a German last name. How would you make the kids's name cool? Start by eliminating the obvious like Adolph, or Kaiser Wilhelm. So how do you narrow it down? 

• If it's a boy look for something that sounds almost macho movie star like.
• Avoid tech names.
• Do not use something that can be sexual like Ballerio which can be likened to ball licker in some way.

It's also important to look at the kid and assess his or her glaring physical features. Make sure if you have a hairy kid you don't name it Wolf or Thestral. It's good to not name the kid for at leas two or three weeks while planning the name. Think in the realm of the magical and then look at superheroes as well. It may be that you are into the goth, so you may want to look at some of the following sources: 

• Ancient Greek history.
• Scythian history, relating to ancient greece.
• Jordanes 

Picking a cool name is all going to depend on the research, your knowledge of the name and ultimately how comfortable you are with ramifications such as beat downs and harassment. Picking an unusual name is an art, don't fuck it up. 

WE WILL NEVER KNOW WHY

It's been nearly 50 years and we are still fascinated by the assassination of JFK. We never saw JFK age, we never saw him mature as president. What we know is that he was our youngest president and the beacon of a new hope. Kennedy was going to transition us from the black and white era to color, Kennedy was the leader of a new generation.

50 years ago we lost the leader and gained something that we were not prepared for, confusion. Today we ask why it all happened but the truth is we have no answers. Nothing will ever explain the why, or the what, simply put it just happened. from November the 22nd to the 24th the nation had tragedy and was denied a plausible answer.

The Warren Commission provided a report that may have as well been blank pages, simply because no answer was satisfactory. Some people believe Oswald acted alone, some believe that he really was a patsy, and no one can understand Ruby's involvement. We will never know why this happened, and we will not understand either.

The murkiness that further enveloped this tragedy through Jim Garrison's investigations, a controversial process that implied unimaginable conspiracies.

There have been serious accusations that have taken mythical proportions. One such accusation implicates LBJ as the centerpiece of a conspiracy to take the presidency. The conspiracy involving LBJ   was immortalized in the film Executive Action, starring Burt Lancaster.

None of these films, investigations, reports, and Ideas can tell us why. There are no facts with the exception of Kennedy's death, Oswald's death and a subsequent series of unfortunate events that can never reversed, or undone.

NAPOLEON BATTLES TONY MONTANA: THE COKE HEAD BONANZA

I have heard it said that Napoleon was a coke head. While I don't think  shall ever get any real confirmation on that, it would not surprise me. Napoleon was like Tony Montana, crazy for power and full hubris. Something tells me that Napoleon was the kind of guy that would grease himself up after coking himself up, and attack some house girl. I know this sounds far fetched but if the vatican has been know to have the hidden orgy here and there, why not? Napoleon looked like a little sex freak anyway.

I can imagine a talk between Napoleon and Tony Montana, it would be something like this:

TM: Hey man, you listen to me you little fucking cucaracha

NB: La merde

TM: I got the yayo you mother fucker

NB: Je suis le grande fromage

TM: We do it my way now you little maricon de mierda shit

NB: Je ne parle pas la merde

TM: I fuck you up Im Tony Montana fucking chata

NB: Je aime les vagin et les pénis

TM: I kill you, you want war mother fucker

NB: Je suis un grand cocaïnomane bisexuels

I am sure the end result would be a fabulous scene that would mix Waterloo with the final battle of Tony Montana up in Coconut Grove. I don't find Napoleon so fascinating simply because he was stupid enough to fight beyond his prime. If Napoleon were alive today he would probably be a member of the tea party. It's great to mix fiction along with historical inaccuracy because it provides a lot of material, perhaps I'll write a story about Napoleon in present time.

WHY A WRITER NEEDS TO KNOW HISTORY

I have always loved history because when you really get into the description of it it's almost like you can see it unfold once more in your mind's eye. My favorite subject through my primary education was history because I felt like I knew the players. I recently realized that history lessons are the first stories we are ever told. Sometimes we hear the tall tales of Americana and other times we read key literary works such as The Great Gatsby which serve as a glimpse into specific periods. The fact is that history reveals that the greatest stories told are told by each and every individual.

I never met the founding fathers but I feel as though they were truly civilized gentlemen with enormous skills in the art of diplomacy, otherwise known as bullshit. A historical document such as the declaration of independence reveals an ardent desire for a new identity, great concern for proper linguistic correctitude, and a fierce need to prove intellectual superiority in certain respects. Then there are works like the bible which is referred to by many as the key work in literature. A story can either be an approximation of the truth, a play on fact, or a total fabrication of the imagination. Honestly it's history that serves as a basis for all of that.

George Orwell wrote 1984 over sixty years ago and while his concepts seemed to far fetched to be real they were realized and validated over the years. While Orwell's work was fiction there can be a safe assumption made that Orwell felt through research that Big Brother was not an unreal and purely fictional idea. Everyone has a view of the future but those that express it in print base it on certain historical study. I am not saying that every person that desires a career in writing must be a history bookworm but it helps to know history in order to avoid sounding like a complete jackass.

1963 AND ALL THIS COUNTRY COULD BE

In this generation of Social Media and true homogenization or making every trend truly uniform in nature and condensing the fat content of distance and disconnect it seems history has also gone away.
On a sunny November day in Dallas exactly 49 years ago John F. Kennedy was gunned down and seemingly so was the hope and innocence of ideals that America clung to so tightly. I am not declaring political allegiance of any sort so if you are a zealous republican or ardent democrat please take the politics somewhere else.

From 1961 to 1963 for nearly three years the JFK administration was a beacon for this country. Every major leader was fascinated by the youth, good taste, and lively nature of the Kennedy administration. It was not always easy for JFK as he faced obstacle after obstacle with the growing conflict in Vietnam, the Bay of Pigs invasion and mounting tensions with Russia. Kennedy was also a maverick of sorts as he challenged the CIA almost directly, made it clear he wanted an audit of the FED and on top of that would not play ball with controlling figures such as J. Edgar Hoover. Kennedy was the man that wanted progress and at the same time a democracy where secrets were not on tab for the people he served.

Kennedy was a throwback to the days when leaders would openly address the people they served. With his multiple imperfections and serious flaws Kennedy was someone that gave this country a breath of fresh air. Kennedy was not stiff like Richard Nixon or old like the venerated Eisenhower. There was something special about seeing the Kennedy children run to greet their father as he exited Marine One. The Kennedy administration made this country something vital. With youthful figures like Robert McNamara, Pierre Salinger, and Robert Kennedy there was something special.

The only older figure in that administration was LBJ and he represented the stability and the experience of over 26 years in Washington. The US was ready to put a man in the moon and everything seemed on track, the US had hope. A bullet  on that sunny November day took that hope away and opened up a wound that this country has yet to heal from.

The US Presidency is more a form of business than a symbol of real power and change. Special interests plagues this country and basically secrets are what's behind every major decision that spurs any change negative or positive. There are no longer convertible Cadillacs or Lincolns and there is no longer that feel that our leader is someone we can approach. Truthfully November the 22nd 1963 was not the day Kennedy died but the day hope seemed to die.

It's fair to wonder how this country would be today if Kennedy had not been shot. Kennedy would have been re-elected in a fairly close election in 1964 and likely would have stopped sending troops to Vietnam and looked for a way to settle that conflict early. Kennedy would have marveled at the success of the Space Program and would have backed Martin Luther King with great fervor en route to great success in achieving equal rights for all Americans. There would have been turmoil but maybe less depletion of resources as a result of an easier out from Vietnam. Now in retrospect this is all a speculative matter but still that glimmer of hope that has faded is a great reflection of a wonderful time that was far too short.

And so for I hope I close with:

It's true! It's true! The crown has made it clear.
The climate must be perfect all the year.

A law was made a distant moon ago here:
July and August cannot be too hot.
And there's a legal limit to the snow here
In Camelot.
The winter is forbidden till December
And exits March the second on the dot.
By order, summer lingers through September
In Camelot.
Camelot! Camelot!
I know it sounds a bit bizarre,
But in Camelot, Camelot
That's how conditions are.
The rain may never fall till after sundown.
By eight, the morning fog must disappear.
In short, there's simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.

Camelot! Camelot!
I know it gives a person pause,
But in Camelot, Camelot
Those are the legal laws.
The snow may never slush upon the hillside.
By nine p.m. the moonlight must appear.
In short, there's simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.