I'LL DRINK THE KOOL AID NOW

I have heard the " Drink the Kool Aid" metaphor used in a negative way for a long time. If that's applied to you it means you follow a belief blindly and devoid of any independent thought. The negativity is associated chiefly with the Jim Jones, Jamestown tragedy that took place in 1978. I think that the Kool Aid is actually a good thing.

At this point I am certain that you are thinking I'm either a zombie or a monster for saying this, but please read on. I think that we need to drink our own Kool Aid, which happens to carry a lot of that self confidence we need in order to move forward in life. So why not drink the Kool Aid?  The truth is that if we aren't capable of following our own desires in this life, no one will follow us when it's necessary.

Every single day we need to capture someone's attention. If we are being interviewed for a job we need to be able to sell our abilities and get a person to see what we see. So drinking the Kool Aid is not a bad thing, nor is getting others to drink the Kool Aid as well. So next time you are going through the internet, by all means stop on by and drink my wonderful Kool Aid so you may be one with my awesome nature.

TWINKIES WILL KILL YOU

I am not writing this in order to give you a health update. Twinkies are a fucking killer, as I craved something while writing I decided to make a play for the twinkie. I opened the fucking thing and thought "Yes" the twinkie was mine. I felt like I would enjoy the little creme filled bastard within minutes. I thought my life was full and complete with this twinkie.

This is the point where the story gets real, the twinkie attempted to take revenge for the deaths of its twinkie brethren. I was slowly eating the twinkie when suddenly I began to choke. I panicked and reached for the water. I did not find the water and began to lose my balance and sight. I started coughing.

I decided to close my eyes and lower my head. As I coughed I decided to open up the fridge and reach for a water bottle. I got the bottle, opened it up and took a drink, I was still alive. This was something of a scary situation until my son made the back pounding safe. I decided to spare the twinkie and go on. I am still alive and I suggest if you want to keep that status as well, stay off the twinkie, because it will kill you.

WHY I LOVE SHARKS

You ever wonder what a shark is thinking? You ever wonder what a shark is thinking when it chomps down on a person's leg? I wonder sometimes about the shark thought process and it fascinates me. I think sharks are a great example of independent thought. A shark is not taken in by shiny objects in the water, in fact a shark will destroy a cage in order to get the meaty substance inside. At times sharks get really close to the shore and decide to go ahead and get some ass.

Sure sharks are not quite as bad as they were made to look in Jaws but they are still pretty badass. A shark will literally demolish a person, slowly but surely. Sharks are like nature's warning against sticking a butter knife inside an energy receptacle. Sharks will always teach you a valuable lesson in life, the lesson is not to stick your ass and hands out all the way. Sharks are not docile and they come around with bad intent. The great thing about sharks is that they are not a good delicacy, proving that they are not in this world to please us.

I once went to a restaurant in Old San Juan that served Tapas, it was called El Picoteo. I remember that I ordered these shark meat bites and split them with my cousin. Everything in the restaurant was amazing but the bites were rough and hard to eat. The point I am trying to make with this is that it's obvious sharks are not meant to be eaten. I love sharks because they just don't take shit, they don't give a shit, and they will give you all sorts of shit. I raise my glass to the shark, a badass that will eat your ass.

MY HATRED FOR THE NOSY

I once had a friend who told me that he had a right to ask me a question. I remember feeling like my privacy had been invaded in the worst way. The fact is that that no matter how long you know a person  that person doesn't ever have the right to ask overly personal questions. I think people love to go past their boundaries and the fact is that they should never be allowed to do so. Unrequested advice falls into that category.

Have you ever stopped in a place and gotten the bit of unrequested advice from someone you don't know or care about? I love those moments because they give me the opportunity to say what I feel. I love to express myself differently with people that ask unrequested questions. I remember being in an elevator with about three cases of water. Some idiot asked me " What are you going to do with all that water?" my response was " I plan on taking the bottles and shoving them up my ass." The man's face lost all color and at that point I felt like a million dollars. I will never truly be able to embrace the nosy especially if they are old in age.

Old people seem to be the worst when it comes to the disease of nosy. I think that the older people get more they want to either provide pearls of wisdom or rain shit all over your parade. I love it when some elderly person breaks out into the " Back in my Day" speech. I respect the elderly and I respect advice but more so when I ask for it. The point of this entry is simple, I hate the following things:

1. Nosy People
2. Unrequested Advice
3. Answering Unwanted Questions
4. Back in my Day speeches

I advice that you use your creativity when dealing with the nosy because at the end of the day it's the most fun you will have in a brief period.