HERE'S A LESSON KIDS, DON'T PISS OFF A GORILLA

I learned early on in my life that it wasn't smart to piss off any animal. Having grown up appreciating animals I understood that all creatures merited respect. I always also understood that it wasn't smart to try and pick on animals in enclosures because enclosures meant that the animal inside could rip you a new one. To me an animal in an enclosure was a majestic site to respect and behold. I can't tell you how funny it is to read what I read in the news.

I guess some kids were mocking a gorilla in a Dallas zoo when suddenly the gorilla scared the little fuckers into nearly peeing their pants. I have to say I am very happy to hear that the gorilla scared the little miscreants into unison silence. I am sure this gorilla was using his quiet and Gorilla Grodd intellect in order to show the bastards a lesson. The lesson is simple, don't piss off an animal that will literally turn you into a rag doll for its own entertainment.

I remember this older gentleman by the name of Don Carlos. When I was a kid this older gentleman had a house full of exotic animals from chimps, to tigers and so on. One day I think one of his animals, the tiger, almost turned my brother into a kebab for no real reason. When a wild animal decides it's going to get you then you better fucking hope you didn't piss it off so it will let you go sooner. A big thumbs up to the gorilla though, those kids were a bunch of fucks.

TOO MUCH BEAVER IS NEVER A GOOD THING

If you are reading this chances are you think this is some sort of pornographic entry. I hate to disappoint  but this is not what you think. I am talking about our little wonderful friend the beaver. I think that too much of those little bastards is a bad thing. In order to illustrate my point I will bring forward the story of a man in Belarus that was killed by a beaver that objected more than vociferously to having its picture taken. I can't not emphasize enough how dangerous it is to try and take pictures of animals in their habitat.

I can imagine what will go on this man's headstone " Beloved Father........Mauled By Belarusian  Beaver." I am not making fun of the guy but the truth is that you will die if you try to get too close to a lovable creature. Everyone will remember what happened to Steve Irwin after he decided to get overly personal with a stingray. You just can't trust animals in their habitat or otherwise. I love animals but I refuse to invade their space.

I never saw Jaques Cousteau get so close to fish that he put himself in the middle of a dangerous situation. I think this is another cautionary tale that animals in the wild are to be left alone. Seriously nature lovers it's okay to love animals just don't be stupid about it.