FUCK DR. OZ........HARD

I have no respect for Dr. Oz and I never will. I'm not a Dr. but I am the son of a Physician that was the very embodiment of the Hippocratic oath. As a child I remember my father looking upon diet foods and crash weight loss products in a less than favorable manner. This idiot recommends every available product that's willing to pay him a hefty fee for valuable real estate in his show. He was grilled on the floor of congress and basically engaged in self contradictory statements and made himself look like a fool. Fuck you Oz you are not the wizard you want people to think you are.

If you want advice go to a Doctor that's willing to tell you the good and the bad in several areas. Stay away from the Physician featured in  The Canterbury Tales.

TWINKIES WILL KILL YOU

I am not writing this in order to give you a health update. Twinkies are a fucking killer, as I craved something while writing I decided to make a play for the twinkie. I opened the fucking thing and thought "Yes" the twinkie was mine. I felt like I would enjoy the little creme filled bastard within minutes. I thought my life was full and complete with this twinkie.

This is the point where the story gets real, the twinkie attempted to take revenge for the deaths of its twinkie brethren. I was slowly eating the twinkie when suddenly I began to choke. I panicked and reached for the water. I did not find the water and began to lose my balance and sight. I started coughing.

I decided to close my eyes and lower my head. As I coughed I decided to open up the fridge and reach for a water bottle. I got the bottle, opened it up and took a drink, I was still alive. This was something of a scary situation until my son made the back pounding safe. I decided to spare the twinkie and go on. I am still alive and I suggest if you want to keep that status as well, stay off the twinkie, because it will kill you.