LADY IN THE PASTRY SHOP YOU ARE A BITCH!

I seem to have the best luck for attracting the worst people in bakeries and pastry shops. Most recently I was in a roadside pastry shop in Amsterdam where I was interested in enjoying a delicious treat filled a lemon cream of some sort. The place was full of life and wonder and it was near a lovely skating rink with a christmas tree in the middle. I loved the fact that the pastry was layed out in such a crisp manner that it almost looked like a work of art.

I ask for the pastry and this horrid bobine bitch yells at me "What do you want?" I responded nicely and she just put my pastry in a bag sort of like a prom night dumpster baby of some sort. I was really angry but I held the juices in and just smiled. I thought "well maybe she is having a bad day."

After days passed I went back to the same spot and the bitch attended to me again in similar fashion. The thing is that this has happened to me multiple times in different places. I am tired so from this point I want to state that if you work in a bakery, or pastry shop, or even a cheese shop and you have an attitude you can seriously go fuck yourself.

Thank you, that is all for now.

The Flatbread is the Metrosexual Quesadilla

Yes I am really going into this territory and you may ask why so here goes. I did not start partaking in flatbread until about seven years ago when I was the beneficiary of an accidental addition to my order at my local chapter of Crispers restaurant. I thought of the flatbread as a cracker with multiple chunks of goodness spread all over.

I looked at it for a second and harkened back to my first ever quesadilla experience. I have always been a loyal and devoted follower of the quesadilla. While I enjoyed my flatbread I began to look at it like people that drink Mr. Pibb look at Dr. Pepper. To Mr. Pibb drinkers Dr. Pepper is a pretentious soda with some sort of entitlement given it's educational superiority. I viewed this flatbread as a sort of asshole quesadilla.

The flatbread is neat and everything is presented in a manner that makes you think twice before eating it. The flatbread is also presented in a plate that compliments its shape and dimensions which are typically flat and rectangular. The quesadilla is a stark contrast to the neatness and inflexibility of the flatbread.

The quesadilla is chunky, large, and served in a round plate. The quesadilla is accompanied by sour cream, salsa, shredded lettuce and guacamole. When you eat a quesadilla you know you are eating something not meant to be seen and marveled at. I guess this particular differentiation does not represent a quandary for those that love food and will eat anything.

In order to better reconcile this situation I look at the flatbread as the metrosexual quesadilla. I understand they have different origins but food is food and in the end it all looks the same.