IT'S OKAY TO BE DRUNK AND A JACKASS

Someone has to be a source of entertainment so why not let it be the resident lush? I love the resident lush because usually he or she has some amazing and incongruent story that has no end and no real beginning. The following is an example:

LUSH: You kno what?

Victim: What?

LUSH: I think that, wooooo

Victim: What?

LUSH: Purple Rain was a great work of Orsinton--

Victim: Prince?

LUSH: Listen, why won't you?

Victim: Yes?

LUSH: The depth of a chubby hot dog like--

Victim: Don't even finish that.

LUSH: It rains (crying) and I'm so lonely because the donkeys are horny

At this point the conversation degenerates into talks of donkey sex and what not. There is the lush who suffers and eats poorly as evidenced in the picture below.

Legendary talentless hack David Hasselhoff showcased his ability to makes a mess while rambling incoherent nothings to his little bitch of a daughter. The Hasselhoff clip was extremely entertaining because it showed the vulnerable side of the legendary Michael Knight.

There is nothing wrong with being drunk and a jackass because the world needs one of everything. Consider yourself the platypus in Noah's Ark. 

THE CRAZY BITCH STRIKES AGAIN

For every one good thing about social media there are about a million bad things. Social Media has everything from bad youtube videos, to internet MEMES, to stalkers, to rampant death rumors. My favorite is the crazy stalker people. Usually stalkers are sex crazed morons that have never had a girlfriend and want some cyber love. Occasionally a crazy bitch will stalk you and that's when it gets fun.

You may be asking yourself how I know about this and I am going to answer. I have had a crazy bitch stalking me for what seems like an eternity. The funny thing is that her sophomoric and ridiculous behavior is a great example of someone that doesn't really know about stalking. This crazy banshee from the depths of hell loves to say she has died, given birth to my child, and been involved with me for half a decade. I guess being a pathetic soul takes its toll on a crazy bitch.

I have gotten so many blocked messages on my Facebook that at this point I am certain I could write a small book with the title Crazy Bitch and the Guide to Stalking. I don't like the notion of being stalked but at the same time it's sort of funny that I am being stalked by a person that seems to be highly limited in her material. The last message I got from this person was under two fake profiles and both messages stated she had passed away and I was going to pay.

I am sure that if I let my guard down I will likely be stabbed by a host of toothpicks and be forced to ingest a lethal dose of Anacin. I don't take this seriously because life is too short to actually give a crap about crazy,pathetic, feeble minded people with nothing better to do in life.