If you are offended by restrooms, feces, urine, and toilet paper, this particular entry is not for you. Im writing not about the natural process of expelling waste from the body but about the required etiquette when doing so in public.
The public restroom was created for the purpose of helping individuals comfortably go about the day without a tight bladder, or for that matter a clogged sphincter. The public restroom and the latrine are noble servants of a worthy yet disgusting cause. I do often wonder why so many people fail to respect the public restroom and the crowd of respectful attendees.
I am referring to those moments in time when you walk into the stall and there is a ton of shit with toilet paper just begging to be flushed. You get that "flush me" bug in your ear but you won't because what you are looking at is some repugnant shit. I know it's not a pleasant image so strike it and think " What can I do to make it better? "
I have taken the liberty to answer that question with a list of proper bathroom behaviors that should be observed:
1) Flush, it's not a fucking science.
2) Don't use the whole roll, it's not a necessity.
3) If there is explosive content emanating, flush twice.
4) Don't pee on the seat, I mean who the hell does that?
5) Teach your kids the rules, shitting on the walls in order to spell your name is not cute.
6) Do not write Jamiroquai lyrics in poop, it's not a talent.
7) Don't skank up the sink.
Men, women, children, follow these damn rules, for the love of earth.
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